Seeking the Unknown
by nightdancers
Summary: I abandoned the present, immersing myself in the scattered images I could see of my future. It was the only way I could survive. That distant family, my true mate... I could only wait until they were within my reach. -now complete-
1. Premonition

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Preface - Alice (Human)  
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I tried to struggle against him one last time. It was then that I felt as if my mind were detaching itself from my body. My every muscle gave out, but for a split second, my mind had never been clearer. And I knew with dreadful certainty that I would never escape this. I would not survive it.

Then everything faded to black.

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**Chapter 1: Premonition**

I awoke crying and drenched in sweat, sitting straight up into a sitting position. My pillows and coverlet were haphazardly strewn across the floor, evidence to my tossing and turning. I felt the stuffy, humid air suffocating me. I drew up my knees and wrapped my arms around them, my slight figure folding easily unto itself. My dark hair swept down and created a comforting curtain around my face, muffling my quiet sobs.

It was the same nightmare I had had every night this week. Mr. Searcy, the Baptist reverend, walking along the side of the road at night, humming to himself. Three attackers jumping out from the bushes, knives glinting in the moonlight. A scuffle, screams of agony, and a bleeding corpse left to float away down the Biloxi River. I shuddered, taking deep breaths to ease myself.

"Alice?" I heard my sister murmur, half asleep. Her back was to me in the other bed, rising and falling evenly with each breath. "Another nightmare?"

"Yes, Cynthia… just another nightmare. I'm getting some water, go back to sleep."

There was no answer, and after a few moments I noticed my little sister was asleep again. I slowly uncurled myself and crawled off the bed. Anyone else would have had trouble navigating the tight corners of our shared room, but I had always been small for my age. I navigated my way through the narrow path between our beds, along the base of them until I reached the half open door.

The kitchen was right outside the door, and I went to the wooden table in the center. There was a pitcher with warm water in the center, and the universal family mug besides it. I poured myself some water and forced it down, trying my best to think about something besides the dream.

It was impossible. Every time I closed my eyes I could it unfold – see the terror in Mr. Searcy's eyes as he was stabbed, see the evil glint of the attackers eyes as they ravaged his satchel for the Sunday collection. Another shudder. It was all too horrible, and made a thousand times worse by the fact that I knew it would happen. Soon.

That's what I couldn't tell anyone, because last time they had threatened to send me away. I always had dreams, not always so gory, but sometimes worse in other ways. And my dreams always came true. I knew the mayor's wife would be caught committing adultery even before she did. I had known about a great war looming on the horizon. I had known it would be better to plant sugar cane this year, although father had ignored me – we were losing money as a result. I knew so many things, but it was a double-edged sword.

On the one hand, these... "visions" could be beneficial – if anyone bothered to listen. But at the same time, they put me in danger. My parents talked about it sometimes, when they thought I wasn't listening. _One more of these uncanny predictions and we may need to consider professional help, _mother whispered. _It's not natural for Mary Alice to know these things, it just isn't. _And of course my father's gruff words, adamantly agreeing. _Not good public relations, you know, having a downright _crazy_ daughter._

I stopped telling them anything, out of fear more than anything. I knew my father, at least, would follow through on his threats to send me away. Every once in a while I'd let something slip with Cynthia, but that was it. She was too naive to really understand anyway. I sighed. It all meant keeping these dreams to myself. It meant living with this terrifying thing on my own.

I finished the lukewarm water and placed the mug back in its spot. Before going back to my room I stopped, listening intently for the sounds of my parents' deep breathing. After making sure they were asleep I padded back to my room, slipping inside soundlessly and thanking God for my natural grace. I eased back into my bed, careful not wake Cynthia. She didn't need to know how much these things bothered me. Fully determined to sleep, I lay on my side, curled up into a ball.

But I couldn't sleep. Of course not. The dark circles under my eyes would be testimony to it tomorrow, but there was nothing I could do about it, except pray that my dreams would go away. And pray I did, every long hour of every sleepless night.

_Please go away, please go away. God, please make these dreams go away!_

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**author's note: So, what do you think? I am a major fan of Alice, and I've always wanted to tell her story, so here we go. :) This first chapter is a little short, but they'll get longer. Reviews are love!**


	2. Sister

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Chapter 2: Sister**

The next morning Cynthia and I were sent on foot to the docks, to buy food for tonight's dinner. A few influential people would be attending, father had told us, including Biloxi's mayor and Mr. Kennedy from the town council. The overwhelming smell of fish assaulted us as we got closer to the ocean's edge, where several fishermen were bringing in the catch of the day. There were still a few dots out near the beach, and the bright yellow dot farther out told us we would have to wait for our uncle John to come to shore.

"Alice," my sister drawled out in a whiny voice. She didn't have to say anything else. It was hot, humid, and the smell of seafood all around us was sickening. Neither of us had ever been able to get used to it because we lived too far away, on the outskirts of the town. It was starting to make me sick.

"Whining won't be of any help, Cynthia."

"But it's _hot_, and_ sticky_, and I don't even _like_ fish!"

Typical little sister, I mused to myself. Even though we were close in age – fifteen and thirteen – Cynthia had always been the complainer. I set down the basket of tomatoes in my hand, turning to face her with a grin. If there was one thing she could never turn down, it was a good run. "Race you to the end of the dock and back!"

"Ugh, Alice, no!" Before she could get out another word I was already racing down the wooden planks of the dock, my buckled shoes hitting each board with a loud clunk. I could see a few of the fisherman's heads turn as we raced, Cynthia quickly catching up with her own loud clunks behind me.

Even though she had started off with a groan, my sister quickly gained on me. Before we were halfway down the dock she was laughing, trying to catch the trailing end of my dress as we ran. I felt a slight tug as we neared the end of the short dock – she was already right behind me.

I shifted on one heel at the end of the dock, narrowly avoiding falling into the water. Again, I was thankful for my natural grace, which always kept me light on my feet. I laughed as I gained ground on the return trip, my clumsier sister tripping on the turn and stumbling. That was always the defining factor with us. Cynthia was taller, but I was much more agile.

"Looks like I'll win – _again_," I shouted back giggling, earning me a strange look from someone on a nearby boat.

"Alice!" My sister's disgruntled yell came a moment too late, and I turned to face forward just in time to see my father standing at the end of the dock, eyes wide open in horror. _Oh dear God, no_, were my last thoughts as I fought to slow down, crashing into his arms with enough force to make us both stumble but not fall.

My sister veered away and slowed just in time, coming to a stop a few feet away. She somberly came to stand next to us, her eyes pleading with me, breath coming unevenly. Her whole face was asking silent forgiveness, but I didn't blame her. I hadn't noticed father approaching either.

The hostility coming off of my father now was tangible in the air. I disentangled myself from him as quickly as I could, moving to stand silently besides Cynthia. His face was now a bright red, and he made a big show out of dusting off his immaculate clothing. "Mary Alice Brandon, what is the meaning of this?" he hissed, looking only at me. "Do you think it is suitable for the prospective mayor's daughter to be running around on the docks like a child? It is not bad enough that you have those… those _dreams_, but do you have to act so foolish in your waking hours as well?"

Again with the dreams. I regretted endlessly the day I had approached my father with my dream about the crops, which suggested we should plant sugar cane inland, so as to profit best. He had ignored me, and when harvest time came and the buying price of sugar cane shot up, he had somehow blamed me – I still didn't know how. Ever since then he hounded my mother and sister to see what they knew of my dreams, and every time one came true (that he found out about), I would be punished. Visions in dreams were certainly not socially acceptable.

I knew I would be punished today as well. My father cared immensely about his public appearance, especially since he would be making a bid on mayor a few years. It was the reason he was holding a special dinner tonight, and why I needed to stay inside the house so much. My naturally bubbly personality did not suit a proper young lady.

"Well?" his whispered scream broke through my thoughts.

"I'm sorry father."

"I am sorry as well," Cynthia's voice sounded tiny in comparison ours, barely a whisper. I felt very bad for my sister, because she often suffered because of my behavior. And no matter how many times I tried to keep her out of my problems, it always failed.

We received a grunt in response to our apologies.

A few more moments of awkward silence followed, surely to make us feel guilty. Once both my sister and I were fidgeting uncomfortably, father finally spoke. "I need to speak to John about tonight, so I'll be picking up the fish. You two walk – _not run_ – home, and help your mother prepare dinner. I'll be there shortly."

With that he started walking to the end of the dock, keeping himself in excellent posture and countenance. I caught Cynthia rolling her eyes, and couldn't help giggling nervously. A quick glance out to the water told us we had plenty of time to get home before father. Uncle John's boat, a bright yellow one that was always visible against the horizon, was still very far out. He liked to come in last, in the late morning, and many people waited for him on the shore. It was said that he had the best fish the deep blue ocean had to offer.

"We had better get going Alice," I heard after a few moments, my sister's small voice louder now that father was away.

"Alright," I answered simply, picking up the basket of tomatoes where I had left them. "But I still won," I snuck in with a grin.

"Did not! There was no winner, we got interrupted. Besides, you cheated and gave yourself a head start!"

"I needed a head start, I'm handicapped today. Remember?" I told her, pointing to my head. Although anyone else might take this differently, Cynthia immediately nodded knowingly. She knew that whenever I tapped my head, it meant that there was some dream or other keeping me awake, exhausting me mentally with night after sleepless night.

We had walked a good distance up the path back into town when my sister spoke up again. "What was it this time?" she asked somberly, her previous good mood faded into a worried mask.

Should I tell her? This question often plagued me. I needed a confidant for these more serious dreams, and I was probably closer to Cynthia than anyone. Her unusually cheery demeanor and sincere concern – between sisterly quarrels – kept me anchored and relatively sane. However, she was intimidated easily, and father would usually take the information through fear alone. I was silent for what seemed like hours. Against my better instinct, though, I finally decided to tell her.

"It was Reverend Searcy. I keep seeing him being attacked, Cynthia. I keep seeing the same images flash in my dreams. He's walking down the pathway away from the church when three men jump out of the trees lining the road. I cannot hear them talk, but they run away with the Sunday collection, and leave him stabbed and _dying_ by the river."

My voice grew quieter as I spoke, breaking on the last sentence. Our walking slowed, our voices dropping to whispers as we hit the main street of Biloxi. Cynthia was completely silent for a few moments, but then spoke up. "How long?"

"A day or two more, I think."

"How do you know?"

"I can see a full moon in the sky." Only little details like that helped me pinpoint when my premonitions would come true. While I couldn't know for sure when Mr. Searcy would be attacked, I could see a full moon in the outer fringes of the images, giving me just enough information to know it would be soon.

My little sister was quiet for a long time, and I wondered if this particular dream was too much for her. Actually, I knew it was, but I still had selfishly told her. I told her because I needed to share this with _someone_. Anyone. This was too much horror to bear alone.

"Alice," when she spoke again, I had to lean in to hear her. "I think you should tell father."

"No!" I cried out, but then quickly clamped my mouth shut. We were walking past the main store in town and it would not be fit for a "proper" young lady to scream. Just a few more streets until we reached home. "I can't tell father, you know that."

"But why not? Maybe he can warn Reverend Searcy, or the police."

"Because I simply can _not_. He won't believe me in any case." That and he would threaten to send me to an asylum again. A daughter who had visions was worse than a daughter who could not behave. My father was so publicly and politically inclined I did not doubt he would follow through with his threats.

By this time we had reached the front steps of our house, taking them slowly. I was suddenly fearful of Cynthia, who had not spoken anything since my outburst. "You cannot tell them, please," I pleaded before we headed through the door. There was no answer as we stepped inside.

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**author's note: Uh oh? Hehe. Just wanted to mention that I am changing the rating of this story, from T to M. I had formerly convinced myself that I would not write Alice and Jasper's... intimacies, and although those chapters are way way ahead of this, ideas for the scene have been bombarding my head and I am afraid I will have to. Wow, that was long winded. Anyway, I do plan on writing that stuff later on, but in a way that won't subtract from the original plot line. Hopefully. Reviews are love!**


	3. Party

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

**a/n: If you read the previous two chapters before I edited, I just wanted to mention that I changed the victim's name (formerly Brown, now Searcy). This change was in part due to some Biloxi research I did: Bradford really was mayor, Searcy really was reverend, and Kennedy won the mayorship in 1919. The timeline's may be a few years off one way or another, but... hey, close enough ;)**

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**Chapter 3: Dinner**

As much as I wanted to talk to Cynthia, our mother assaulted us the minute we walked in through the front door, snatching away the vegetables in my hands and buzzing around the kitchen like a mad woman. She was exuding anxiety about tonight's dinner party, not only because of the political implications, but because my father would be upset if things didn't go as planned.

And _no one_ wanted my father angry.

"Alice, hurry and start preparing the salad, Cynthia go out to the garden and pick out the best sprig of oregano you can find… Mary Alice, where is the fish?" Mother's words came out in a torrent, ending in what sounded like a screech. Cynthia had escaped outside before she was even done talking.

"With father, he stayed to wait for Uncle John while we came back."

"John isn't back yet? How can he not be back yet? It's already past two o'clock and we haven't even started the main dish. This is a disaster!" How silly of Mother to ask. She should know her brother was never punctual.

By this time I had started to tear apart chunks of lettuce, sticking with the classic green salad. "He will be back in time, the dinner will go well," I said casually, trying to reassure her.

"Are you sure?" Suddenly my mother was in my face, leaning over the table where I had taken a seat. I wasn't quite sure what she meant, and stared at her with a blank expression. She waited a moment for my answer and when I was silent, she took me by the shoulders. "Alice!"

It wasn't until then that I realized what she was asking me. My eye widened in shock. My dreams were usually treated as some sort of mental problem, and certainly not relied on. "What? No! I didn't _dream_ anything, I was just saying!"

At that precise moment Cynthia decided to waltz in. She always did have impeccable timing. The astonishment on her face when she took in the scene was evident. Her mother holding her older sister by the shoulders. Older sister, adamantly denying she hadn't had any prophetic visions as of late. I could almost see her resolve shattering.

"Yes you did!" My sister blurted out, immediately biting her bottom lip, her classic sign of guilt.

My mother froze for a second, then her demeanor completely changed. She released my shoulders and crossed her arms, a look of determination on her face. "Cynthia, please go into your room until I call you again. Leave the herbs on the table." My little sister shot me a look of utter guilt before walking silently to the table and setting down various small sprigs of oregano. The hand holding the herbs was shaking, and kept shaking as it disappeared behind the bedroom door.

"Mary Alice Brandon," – my full name meant trouble, from either parent – " what exactly was Cynthia talking about?" Mother's voice was quiet, purposefully soft so that my sister couldn't hear.

"The, um… party. I dreamt that it would go… well," I stuttered. I was a horrible liar when caught off guard, and Mother knew that. She also knew Cynthia only bit her lip when she did something _really_ bad… like give away a horrible, inescapable prophetic dream.

My mother raised an eyebrow, and started tapping her foot lightly. "I don't think so," she whispered, and then abruptly her demeanor changed again. The frightened look that flashed across her face gave the reason away. She immediately uncrossed her arms and returned to bustling in the kitchen without another word, throwing a few tomatoes at me to add in the salad.

A few seconds later my father came bustling through the door, a large brown sack in his right hand. The ugly smell of fish immediately assaulted my nose, and I scrunched it up in disgust. He threw it on the counter by my mother, mumbling to himself. "Always late, that John. Always late, could never be a decent politician." Louder, he addressed my mother, ignoring me completely. "They will be here at six o'clock sharp, be sure to have everything ready and warm. Mr. Bradford told me they cannot stay for the usual time, so we need to get everything moving quickly."

Mother nodded meekly, her usual submissive self around my father. "Yes Henry, of course."

A gruff nod and Father headed to the sitting room, leaving us alone in the kitchen. I somberly continued preparing our simple salad, waiting for the questioning to begin again. There was only silence for a few moments, and I chanced a glance at my mother. She was still standing over me, but was now the shadow of the stern woman who had questioned me. Father did that to her. She threw me a meaningful glance, then went and opened the door to my bedroom, wordlessly bringing Cynthia out and continuing the dinner preparations.

There was no further chance for my mother's investigation. The afternoon passed quickly into early evening, the nightly cool beginning to settle throughout the house. We were sent to our room to change into what constituted our formal wear; namely, finer dresses and our Sunday shoes. Cynthia avoided looking at me the entire time.

"Cynthia, I'm not angry with you," I finally broke the silence, sitting on the edge of my bed as she pretended to be absorbed in some ruffle on her sleeve.

"Why not?"

Her question took me my surprise. I really wasn't mad at my little sister, despite the fact that she had ignored my pleading and given me away. It was something inevitable, something I considered a part of her character. I knew that when I told her. She was bright, cheery, supportive… and gave in easily. My father called it weakness of the mind, and often mistook it for blind obedience. "Because."

"Why because? Alice…" she trailed off, coming to sit next to me on the bed. "I really am sorry, but I do wish you would be mad with me, if only for a little bit. It will make me feel better."

Guilt shone out of her features, making her timidly bite her bottom lip, and creating a small furrow between her eyebrows. What bothered me most was that she meant her words. "Well then go," I bit out, wincing visibly at the shift in my voice from loving to harsh.

Cynthia's wide eyes got even wider, but she still persisted by my side. Her hands were fists in her lap, her whole body stiff. "You did not mean that."

"Yes I did. You betrayed me, you ignored my pleading, and you… you threw me to the lions! I begged you not to give away my dream, and you went and stupidly acknowledged it when I denied. I was lying before. I _am_ angry with you. Now go away!" I loaded my tone with hatred, and every word burned my throat, my lips. When the tears shining in my little sister's eyes brimmed over, I wanted so badly to hug her and tell her I didn't mean it.

Instead I looked away, pretended not to notice as she got up and exited without another word. As soon as she was gone I slumped, tears threatening my own eyes. I hated myself for hurting her, but it was the only way to remedy her guilt. Harsh words I could later undo, with a small favor or a white rose on her nightstand.

But Cynthia, bless her heart, was a holder of guilt. She would hold her guilt closely whenever she inadvertently did something against me, especially something of this magnitude. It would keep her crying long after I had forgotten. And the only way I had ever learned to help her cope with guilt was by replacing it with hurt. Hurt that I would later heal, all the while detesting myself for causing it.

We do very painful things for those we love.

I sat a few moments in silence, finally gathering the courage to step outside. I released my breath in a long, low sigh, and got up. The doorknob was turning under my hand when the door started moving of its own accord. I stepped backwards just quick enough to allow my red-faced father through, obviously fuming at something or other.

"Fath-"

"Tell me, tell me now, Mary Alice. What did you dream? And don't you dare tell me nothing, because your mother and Cynthia – yes, Cynthia – already told me something is going on. Something big. But apparently neither of them is willing to share, so?"

I blanched, turning away and hiding my face behind my long black locks. How much had Cynthia said? More importantly, how had my father threatened her and my mother? I tried to concoct some sort of believable lie, but my mind failed me. I knew I was giving away the severity of the matter at hand with my silence.

"Well?" Father took a step towards me, and I inwardly cringed. He was not above using physical force if necessary.

"Reverend Searcy," I finally choked out, overcome with an unknown emotion. "He's getting attacked, and soon." Relief I had not been expecting washed over me. It felt as if a great weight was lifted off my chest, allowing me to breathe. This was out of my hands.

Or so I thought. I'm not sure what possessed when I thought that my father would make this better. Instead, I got an eye roll followed by a menacing glance. "What kind of lawless ingrates would attack a _reverend_?" His question seemed to be challenging me.

"Three men, wearing dark clothes so I couldn't see their features very well. For the collection." I didn't realize until after I had spoken that his question was rhetorical.

"You expect me to believe that? This has to be the most outrageous lie you've told by far." And yet the tension in his words betrayed him. He had become very still, and I could see his whole body stiffen at this new information. The air hung heavy around us.

We both stared into each other's eyes, my light hazel into his fierce black. I could tell he wanted to say something else, but an airy voice out in the kitchen interrupted.

"Welcome to our home, Mr. Bradford." A pause, some shuffling. "Mrs. Bradford, it's a pleasure to see you again."

"We are not done," my father hissed before turning on one heel, plastering a smile on his face. He graciously held the door open for me as a show, and I stepped through before him, greeting the former mayor of Biloxi. "Mr. Bradford, it's a pleasure to see you again!"

I walked out silently towards the table, giving Mr. and Mrs. Bradford a timid smile. My mother had already taken care of everything in the kitchen, so I stepped up alongside Cynthia in the sitting room. We had been taught at a very early age to act like the perfect family, regardless of private issues. Smile, be polite, and remember to never show signs of distress or anxiety. And, especially for me – stay calm and no talking about visions or dreams. I glanced sideways at my sister, and noticed that she had apparently gotten her crying under control. She had the same frozen smile on her face, only slight redness in her eyes giving anything away.

"Alice, Cynthia, how are you doing girls?" Mrs. Bradford directed a lovely smile at us, in her usual polite tone. She was wearing an elegant white summer dress, the perfect epitome of a mayor's wife.

"We are doing well, thank you," I answered for both of us. I didn't think Cynthia would be able to talk without her emotions spilling over. "We're very glad you were able to come this evening."

A few more pleasantries, and we all ended up taking our places in the sitting room. Mr. and Mrs. Bradford sat in the long sofa, my father in the armchair across from them and my mother in the kitchen. Cynthia and I remained standing near the door, as we were apparently waiting for another family, the Kennedy's. As we stood there I took in the carefully arranged appearance of Mr. Bradford. He wore a stylish suit, with a creamy dress shirt underneath that brought out the white of his wife's outfit. They both carried themselves with certain poise, spoke in quiet voices, and were overly pleasant.

I then took the liberty of looking over my father. The different was startling. He wore an older suit, very worn and faded in certain spots. He was slightly balding, and what was left of his hair was peppered and greasy. It wasn't just the physical appearance, however. His manner was gruff and blunt, and he lacked the pleasing charisma of the couple opposite him. It was at times like this that the blaringly obvious truth stared me in the eyes. This man, my father, who would do anything and everything to rise in political status, would never be able to. He was not pleasing to the public, and he lacked the charm to become even a small town mayor.

It caused many fights at home, and the three women in the house often paid the price for his failed exploits. If tonight's dinner didn't go as well as he hoped; if he didn't impress the right people with the right words, it was never his fault. It was my mother's for not being charming enough herself, or it was my fault for being too eccentric, Cynthia's fault for being too quiet.

A quiet knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. I opened the door, placing a polite smile on my face as I greeted the rosy faces of Mr. and Mrs. Kennedy. As I invited them in, went through the welcoming pleasantries again, I wondered why they were invited. As far as I knew, Mr. John Kennedy was at intent at becoming mayor as my father. He had more things in his favor, as well – good looks, youth, charisma.

Their arrival started the dinner, and we all sat down in the dining room. Cynthia and I were quiet for most of it, and as usual I spaced as time progressed. The adults talked of rather boring things; politics in D.C., the rising prices of certain crops, the problems with bringing industry to the south. I was nearly nodding off by dessert, the incidents of the early afternoon long forgotten. Every so often my father would turn and let his gaze linger on me for a while, but pretty soon it seemed even he lightened up.

I was briefly wondering whether I would get off easy tomorrow, maybe not so many chores as punishment, when we heard a persistent knock at the door. Everyone jumped slightly at the noise, taken by surprise. My father briskly rose to answer it. A few quiet whispers were heard, and then he reappeared leading in Mr. Darsky, editor for the Biloxi Daily Herald.

I noticed the adults, including my father, all share confused looks amongst themselves. This was certainly not normal. Mr. Darsky had a worried expression on his face, and his clothing looked disheveled. As he approached the dining room table, everyone, including my father, looked at him expectantly.

"Sirs, I'm dreadfully sorry for interrupting your gathering at such a late hour, but I have some dreadful news that I thought you," – here he glanced pointedly at Mr. Bradford – "need to know. Reverend Searcy is dead."

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**another author's note: This took me longer than I thought - I've been getting absolutely swamped by math homework and reading for my Shakespeare class (oh yesh, Shakespeare). I ended up putting more back story into this than I intended, let me know what you think! Reviews, ideas, constructive criticisms, story alerts... all love! :)**


	4. Divulgence

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Chapter 4: Divulgence**

_Reverend Searcy is dead._

Mr. Darsky's words echoed in the absolute silence that followed them. Time froze. It was then that I felt a sickening lurch in my stomach when I thought of Reverend Searcy, the soft-spoken, strict man of God that would never preach again. The images of my dreams flashed once again in my mind's eyes, clearer now than they had ever been. I saw the wicked faces of his attackers as they ruthlessly attacked him, smothering the old man's body with their own. I saw the almost delicate trickle of blood reaching the Biloxi River as Reverend Searcy painfully passed away on the bank.

_Reverend Searcy is dead._

Time seemed to freeze, and then all of a sudden everything was moving much too fast. Mr. Bradford and Mr. Kennedy both reacted simultaneously, jumping up and barking out questions – what had happened, where did they find him, at what hour? Mrs. Kennedy was abruptly holding onto a very ill Mrs. Bradford, who had swooned and fainted upon hearing her brother was dead.

Our guests moved supernaturally fast, responding immediately to the news. But all I really noticed was three pairs of sharp eyes fixed on me; three pairs of eyes, that all told different stories.

My father's glare was the meanest by far, loathing emanating from him. His beady black eyes were boring holes into me, and I quickly looked away. I couldn't bear his silent accusations. Then there was my mother. She looked shocked more than anything. Her mouth was slightly open in astonishment, and her hands had fallen limply into her lap. She was oblivious even to the frantic Mrs. Kennedy at her side asking for help.

And Cynthia. My dear, sweet little sister, the perfect image of pain. Her eyebrows were slightly turned up in surprise, tears threatening to spill over her large hazel eyes. There was so much guilt, intermingled with pain, pouring out of her that I inwardly flinched. I'm sure her face reflected my own.

I let my gaze dance over the eyes of each of my family members, lingering on each. I had never felt so detached. We all stayed this way, frozen, until the commotion of the guests turned its attention to us.

"Henry, what in God's name is going on?" Mr. Bradford screamed in desperation. Apparently it wasn't the first attempt at getting his attention.

"Please, we need to help her," Mrs. Kennedy whimpered to no one in particular, the pale body of Mrs. Bradford in her arms.

"What is wrong with you all?" I don't know who finally asked, but the words finally pushed Cynthia over the edge. She started sobbing loudly, clutching onto me as if I were her only lifeline on earth. And before I knew what was happening, I started crying too.

Our crying broke the stillness of the family, and my mother got up in a trance to go find some smelling salts. I heard her shuffling through drawers in the small pantry, muttering under her breath. My father got up and gestured that the men should join him in the sitting room, throwing me one last scathing glance before disappearing. And I sat in the kitchen, tears streaming down my face as I held my little sister. Her initial shaking had eased, but she still had a death grip on my dress. We both mourned the man that we never really knew, in a desperate attempt to ease our guilt.

I'm not sure how long we stayed like this, but eventually my mother came back with a small flask of something funny-smelling. She and Mrs. Kennedy wafted the smell towards Mrs. Bradford, who awoke with a start, very pale. It took her a moment to regain her bearings before she started sobbing, stumbling into the kitchen to find her husband. The two other women sat in dumb silence, together with us girls, waiting for the men to come back. Voices filtered through to us.

"How is it that they found him?"

"One of the fisherman was coming back home late, always walks alongside the river. Apparently he heard some groaning, but by the time he found the reverend, he was gone."

"How long ago?" This was the only voice I recognized easily from afar, the strained voice of my father.

"Found him about an hour or so ago, but he must have been attacked at twilight. That part of the river gets awfully lonely. I always told Reverend Searcy to stop his evening walks after the service…" A sigh, some shuffling of feet.

"Does Mary know? Their sons?" This was the frail voice of Mrs. Bradford. She could still be heard crying, and it only got louder after her question. This was her family – her brother, sister-in-law, nephews. Her pain must have been a thousand times my own, and I felt another sharp stab of guilt. I could have prevented this.

"Yes, I went to them first. They were the ones that told me you were both here for the evening… I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Becky."

It was then that a brief image flashed through my mind. It lasted for less than a second, and maybe it was a memory, but there he was. My father, leaning above me, his mouth open in a silent scream, his face a beet red. A flash of desperation, of wanting to run away or hide, overwhelmed me. The image, and feeling, went as quickly as it came, and my attention was drawn to my father's next words.

"But just for the _collection_… it seems so very wrong." Absolute silence followed his words. And again, time froze.

I didn't understand why at first. I expected some sort of agreed murmuring, or perhaps another of the men disagreeing out loud. But there was just silence. It even caught the attention of Cynthia, who had by now stopped crying into my shoulder. All of the people in the house simultaneously froze, hanging on to my father's words.

Finally, some unknown speaker broke the excruciating silence. "Henry… how did you know the collection money was missing?" His words seemed to echo, keep time frozen. It was then that I knew what was wrong. No one had mentioned the collection money, nor even brought up potential reasons. My father had just divulged information he couldn't have known. Information that, up until this evening, only_ I_ had known.

Another brief moment of silence, and then all hell broke loose.

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**author's note: This chapter has been half-written, sitting in my dock for about two days, but I honestly haven't had time to write. This whole homework-intensive classes thing is pretty lame. Anyway, this ended up a lot shorter than my last one, but I think that's better / In retrospect, I should have made Ch3:Party into two chapters, but oh wells. I'm sort of rambling because I haven't much else to say, so... review, leave constructive criticisms, add a little story alert... anything to let me know you're reading! (Please? You knows you want to :) )**


	5. Threats and Accusations

**disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Chapter 5: Threats and Accusations**

_"Henry… how did you know the collection money was missing?"_

Mrs. Bradford's angry screech was the first noise to break the pregnant silence. "HENRY! You knew! You were in on this whole thing weren't you!?"

There was the sound of something crashing, and I instantly knew that mother's heirloom vase had been knocked to the ground. Whether in anger or accidentally I would never know, because another weird lurch of time, everything happened too fast.

An unintelligible Mr. Bradford was trying to calm down his wife, but he was overpowered by her sobs. Next came the rational voice of Mr. Kennedy, speaking so loudly he could be heard even in the kitchen. "You have some serious explaining to do, Henry."

"Damn right you have some explaining!" It sounded like Mrs. Bradford was preparing for a round two, and this time she was on the move. They all exploded into the kitchen at the same time, and it might have been funny in a different situation. My father walked in first, and backwards; his arms were up in a defensive stance trying to block the flailing Mrs. Bradford who came in after him.

There were no traces of the calm, cool, and collected mayor's wife of before. She looked absolutely mad. Her cheeks were tear-stained, her eyes red and blotchy. Her paleness was gone, replaced by a vibrant flush that only accentuated her anger. Mr. Bradford came in after, attempting to restrain his wife, all the while throwing death glares at my father. Finally Mr. Kennedy and Mr. Darsky, both muttering to each other and throwing glances at the rest of us.

It was then that I paid attention to the women in the kitchen. The adult women were frozen in shock, although different kinds. My mother had the aspect of someone who wanted to drop off the face of the earth; Mrs. Kennedy's expression mingled shock and confusion. Cynthia was as frozen as I was, still holding on to me lightly as we stared at the scene unfolding before us.

"You bloody bastard, you killed my brother!" A well-aimed slap landed fluidly on my father's cheek, and although he was still clearly fuming, he did nothing.

It was then that Mr. Darsky, who appeared to be the only reasonably sane one left, spoke up. "But Becky, hasn't he been with you the whole evening?"

This did little to stop Mrs. Bradford, who now seemed hadn't quite lost all capacity of reason in her grief. She began weeping again, collapsing into her husband's arms. Between sobs, she managed to stutter out, "How else… would he… have known?"

All eyes turned on my father. Inquisitive, confused, accusatory… fearful.

I never expected him to tell the truth. "My daughter," he started, pointing at me, spitting out my name like a curse word. "Mary Alice, she knew. She told me right before the dinner party that she had had dreams of Reverend Searcy dying and the cause, but I didn't believe her. How was I supposed to believe something like _that_?"

All eyes turned to me. I shuddered involuntarily, and even Cynthia let go of me.

"You have to understand, Bradford… how would it have sounded if I told you that my daughter has strange dreams, that she claims to predict things? You would have called me a lunatic!" My father's words had turned from blaming to pleading, no longer caring what people thought of me. All he wanted to do was clear himself.

There was stunned silence, before Mr. Bradford, still holding his wife, answered. "That… that can't be true. And even so, if you have even the slightest suspicions, you should have invited him here tonight, done something to stop this… this atrocity! _She_ could have stopped this," he turned to me, accusing me with his eyes.

"She told me too late!" Anger again. "Like I said, it wasn't until a few hours ago, probably as the act was being done! If she had told me earlier, I would have certainly prevented this. As it was, it was too late to do anything. _She_ told me too late."

I suppose that with everything that had happened today, nothing was impossible. Not even prophetic dreams. It seemed that everyone was taking the idea in stride – that is, until Mrs. Bradford spoke up again. "You're lying, I know you are," she muttered, tearing her eyes away from mine. "You probably planned this whole thing as some sort of twisted plan to gain popularity… what were you going to do, Henry? Give a speech in his name, or maybe create some sort of monument? What were you after?"

The hushed voice of Mrs. Kennedy broke the eerie silence following. "Becky, be reasonable," she whispered to her long time friend. "Mr. Brandon wouldn't do that."

I sat in the silence that followed, feeling several pairs of boring eyes on me. Cynthia had scooted several inches away from me, hanging her head miserably. I couldn't see her eyes, but I was afraid of what they would hold for me.

I wasn't quite sure of what I was feeling. Guilt, that was certain. But, as horrible as I felt for Reverend Searcy, a small part of my mind was wondering what would happen to _me._ Things had certainly taken a turn for the worst, and I found myself painfully regretting having told his to anyone. Alone I could have faked illness, let myself wallow in personal misery for a few days, but now that there were so many involved…

My father was by far the most terrifying image right now. I could almost feel the hatred pulsing from him whenever he caught my eye, and I didn't even want to imagine how he would punish me. This time it would certainly not be simple chores, or no outings with friends. Another word kept popping into my head, but I tried my best to ignore it. _Asylum._

"I should, uh… take my leave." Mr. Darsky finally interrupted the silence, giving Mr. Kennedy a pointed look before letting himself out of the house. The Kennedy's followed, almost immediately after, and I was sure they would be meeting to discuss this later tonight.

Soon the kitchen just held my family and the Bradfords, all sitting in a very uncomfortable silence broken only by Mrs. Bradford's occasional whimpers. She threw death glares at my father and I on occasion, but did not burst out into accusations anymore. It looked like she was spent, her breath all but gone. After she had calmed down some, her husband spoke.

"We will discuss this tomorrow morning, Henry," he addressed my father in a quiet voice, but eyed me with furtive glances. "We need to go accompany Reverend Searcy's family." With that he wrapped his arms around his wife, gently half-carrying her to the door and leaving without another word.

I breathed a sigh of relief, let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. It was a mistake.

"Look what you've gone and done!" My father screamed at me, probably still within hearing range of the guests that had just left. He realized this at the same I did, because his next words came out through clenched teeth. "I swear, Mary Alice, if tomorrow doesn't go well, you'll see—" He cut off then, his low hiss melting into the silence. I met his pitch black eyes with my frightened ones, not daring turn to my mother or sister for support.

This was my fault, and I needed to bear this burden alone now. I had already incriminated my family too much. When I simply sat there, mutely meeting his glare, I could see the fury soften slightly. He needed opposition to continue his menacing threats, and I was apparently not a worthy opponent. He turned on Cynthia, speaking in the same low, menacing tone.

"And you spineless _child_, you are at much as fault as your sister in this. You could have defended me, but you had to hold firm to your very misplaced loyalty. That is going to cost you." He was approaching my little sister slowly as he spoke, ending directly in front of her. In a surprising show of self-control he took her very gently by the shoulders, speaking in a whisper. "You _will_ come with me tomorrow and corroborate my story, and you _will_ be believable. And then you won't see sunlight for a month. Agreed?"

At his last words he squeezed her shoulders, his knuckles becoming white with the strain. My sister let out a high-pitched squeal of pain and he released her, taking a few steps back. My mother ran to Cynthia's side, concealing her small shuddering form with her own. She threw me an almost pained glance before shuffling off with a sobbing Cynthia.

My father and I were the only ones that remained in the kitchen now. He shifted to stand directly in front of me, not showing any signs of calm. His next words were barely audible, but frightened me more than any of his screams.

"I cannot have you sabotaging me, Mary Alice. Which only leaves me one other choice."

_Asylum. _

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**author's note: I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. I wanted to elaborate more on reactions and such, but quite frankly, there were too many characters and not enough time. I also didn't want to stretch out these pre-asylum human chapters... I like vampire Alice better :) Anyway, as I was reading this, it seemed sort of rushed, and I acknowledge that - I also realize it would not be prudent to do otherwise. U_m... if your eyes glazed over at this mini-paragraph, then just remember - read, review, story alert... aka show some love! :)_**


	6. Exiled

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Chapter 6: Exiled**

I awoke with a start. My mind swam with different, broken images.

A dinner party, frightened guests, a revelation. These images were clear, as were the feelings that came with them. Well, _one_ feeling. Fear.

Then came the blurry images. Flashes of chains, dark areas penetrated by double bars of light… a feeling of suffocation. These scared me the most.

I had hardly slept this past week. Every time I went to sleep I would start having dreams – nightmares, really – and they woke me up dozens of times a night. Cynthia heard me every once in a while, but for the most part she had been avoiding me, per father's orders. She didn't ask what the dreams were this time. And while I had a faint idea of what they meant, I refused to believe it.

I kept repeating to myself that my family wouldn't send me to an insane asylum. Those were for epileptics and lunatics, people who couldn't control themselves. I was capable of behaving appropriately in social situations, and it would be too much scandal if I left. That was my strongest argument – scandal, my father would want to avoid scandal.

He hadn't said a word about the threats since the dinner party. He and Cynthia had gone to the Bradford's home Monday morning, after the Sunday night dinner. They had both come back slightly paler, but nothing else was said to me. In fact, father had been unnaturally civil.

It reminded me eerily of the calm before the storm.

I let myself fall back onto the bed, waiting for dawn. The light gray sky outside the window told me it wouldn't be too much longer until Friday morning. I rolled over restlessly onto my side, letting my gaze linger on the window. I could see the very bright stars, twinkling faintly as they faded away into day. The faint pink would come later, together with the knowledge that I had made it another night.

Another hour later it was late enough to rise, and I made a show of getting up, stretching, and yawning. I knew Cynthia would be watching me out of the corner of her eye, pretending to be asleep. I was desperate to mend things with her, but she never gave me a chance. I was determined to blockade the door and corner her when I heard my mother's strained voice.

"Alice, are you awake?"

"Yes, I just woke up, Mother," I called out, wondering why she sounded so stressed. If my mother hadn't defended me this past week, she at least hadn't made life any more difficult. I knew it was because she feared my father.

"Get dressed and come to the sitting room, there's someone here to see you."

Who would be here to see me? I dressed quickly, slipping on my clothes from yesterday. I patted down the dress in an effort to get out the wrinkles, but when that failed I sighed and started quickly brushing my hair. Cynthia had by that time sat up, and I flashed her a quick smile before opening the door and heading outside.

What I saw in the sitting room nearly made me run for it. Father and Mother were sitting on the couch, much too dressed up for a workday. They were both fidgety, looking obviously uncomfortable as I stepped to their side. Opposite them was an elderly man wearing spectacles and a gray suit.

"Mary Alice, we would like you to meet Mr. Thomas Greene… he's the superintendent at Milledgeville State Hospital." My mother's voice broke on the last words, and she gripped the fabric of her dress and pretended to stare down at the floor. I took a shaky step back before my father grabbed on to my dress pocket, keeping me anchored.

"You are not going anywhere, you need help," he gruffly told me.

Oh God. _Oh God_.

The man opposite of me smiled, a guarded smile that told me his words and meaning were complete opposites. "It's nice to meet you, Miss Mary Alice. Your parents summoned me Tuesday morning, and I came as soon as possible. Your father tells me you are a very special case – hallucinations, for example. Are you aware of these?"

I gasped for air, feeling my lungs constrict and a sinking feeling in my stomach. I was a _case_? This couldn't be happening, I told myself over and over again. Not to me. I shook my head fiercely, trying to strain away from my father's death grip.

"Denial, classic symptom… you are also experiencing difficulty maintaining your composure in a social situation. Is she prone to fits or seizures?" This last question was directed at my father, as if I wasn't there.

My father glanced at me, almost daring me to disagree. "From time to time. Mostly at night, she's very restless. Keeps her sister awake."

I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't get any words out. Instead I ended up hyperventilating. This was too much. Everything I had heard about insane asylums pointed to… well, _insane_ people. And I was _not_ insane. I struggled again against my father's grip, attempting to twist his hand away from my dress. I couldn't let this happen.

"Mary Alice Brandon, you will be put away," my father commanded between gritted teeth. "You need help." I met his eyes, and for a split second, I saw what he meant. _I need you gone._

At my father's words, this so-called Mr. Greene smiled joyously. "I'm so glad you see that, Mr. Brandon," he told us cheerfully. "So often families believe their infirm are better treated at home. I've always argued – and proved, if I do say so myself – that the sooner we can get the patient under professional care, the higher probability that they will recover."

At that point in time, I hardly heard him. By now I was putting up a real fight with my father, finally managing to break his grasp. I turned on one heel, gathering my dress as close to me as possible. "I won't go!" I cried in a voice that didn't quite sound like my own. The next words were choked out between tears. "Please, you can't make me go!"

I ran towards the door in the sitting room, heading towards the kitchen, when I ran face-first into a tall, darker man. He fixed a vice-like grip around my waist, easily dominating my slight frame. That was when I lost it.

"Let me go!" I screamed, kicking, fighting, trying to somehow break his grasp. "Please, _please_, don't make me go!"

Through my angry haze, I heard the words I was dreading. Mr. Greene had stood up, speaking as though he were discussing the weather. "This is more severe than I thought. Well, do not worry about this, Mr. and Mrs. Brandon. She will be admitted right away to Milledgeville State Hospital."

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**author's note: Oh snaps! :O So, this chapter would have been up quicker, except it took me a while to get around to researching this stuff. Oh yeah - Milledgeville, Greene, and Greene's ideas of treatment, all true. Consider a quick history lesson ;) Read, review, story alert... you know, the usual :)**


	7. Numb

**disclaimer: I am _still_ not Stephenie Meyer, these _still_ aren't my characters.  
**

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**Chapter 7: Numb**

"I'm dreadfully sorry to have to bring you in this way, Mary Alice, but, well…" Mr. Greene's calm voice was almost comical in the current situation. We were all riding in the backseat of a cramped car; Mr. Greene, the bodyguard, and myself. The driver up front squirmed and wrinkled his nose like a rabbit, glancing back at us nervously from time to time.

Oh, and I was being restrained by the bodyguard, pinned between him and Mr. Greene. I wriggled forcefully every once in a while, but the bodyguard's grip on my arms was too firm. Screaming and swearing was of no use too – I would just hear mutters about how I might need sedatives. I eventually calmed down enough to think through what had actually happened this disastrous morning.

After the fateful declaration, I had been literally dragged from the front of the house to a shiny black Model T car, kicking, screaming, and trying to create as much scandal as my lungs could allow. I saw our only neighbor, an elderly woman who was half blind and deaf, peek out of her bedroom window before closing the curtains. All of the other houses were too far away to hear anything.

I finally understood why they had come for me so early. Hardly anyone was up and about in town early morning; most children were getting ready to school (like we should have been), housewives were preparing breakfast, husbands getting ready for the day's work. No one saw me getting dragged out, no heard me screaming, and no one bothered to see who was hidden in the shiny black car pulling away from town. Biloxi, Mississippi faded away and I wondered if anyone would even miss me.

I had caught glimpses of my family as we drove away… probably the last I would ever see of them. My father had stood by calmly, arms crossed and a stoic expression on his face. He had hardly given me a second glance as I was pushed into the car, stepping inside the kitchen before I was gone. My mother had stood by the door as I left, and I thought for a moment I saw her cheeks glistening with silent tears. Perhaps it was just the reflection of light from the window next to her.

But it was Cynthia that broke my heart, and it was she that I mourned now. She had started out of our room when I had started screaming, half-dressed and with a wild look in her eyes. When no one answered her demands for explanation she had followed us outside, demanding that the bodyguard put me down. She had hung onto his arms, clawing and screeching and tugging at my dress until Mother pulled her away.

Her loud sobs had followed the car as we pulled out onto the road, and I had barely caught her faint cry as we drove away. "Alice, I'm sorry!"

I would never see my little sister again. We would never walk down to the docks together, or play down by the river. I would never be there when she got her first suitor, or needed advice only a big sister could give. I could never again tell her that I love her, that I forgive her. This thought brought on a fresh wave of tears to my eyes, and I tried desperately to stifle them. It was then that Mr. Greene interrupted my thoughts.

"Are you feeling calmer now?"

I wanted to hurt him. But I was already too weak. I had worn myself out by struggling for the better part of the past hours, and felt my muscles giving in to the exhaustion. I sat limply in the arms of the bodyguard now, my chin resting on my chest. I sniffled, but refused to respond to his question.

He continued anyway. "We will arrive at Milledgeville, Georgia around midnight. They are already waiting for us, so we must proceed with haste. Of course, we can stop for lunch… if you promise to behave. Can you promise me that, Mary?"

Something remotely akin to a snarl came from my throat, and I wasn't even aware of having made the noise. I didn't understand how this _man_ – if he could even be called that – was so calm. I was stripped from my family, my home, my little sister, and here he was talking about _lunch._ I turned my head as far from him as I could, ending up buried in the musky scent of the tall bodyguard on my other side.

"If you cooperate this will be much easier. I hope you can understand that."

The kindness in his voice caught me off-guard. For the first time this morning I realized that he hadn't been aggressive once. He had kept trying to talk to me with gentle words, even when I didn't answer him. I hated him even more for it. I knew it was all fake, one giant pretense. "Go to hell," I hissed, my voice husky from crying.

That ended the conversation for the morning. I curled up as best I could, and eventually the grip on my arms was released. As the hours passed I tried desperately to keep hold of Cynthia's voice in my mind, but I could feel a numbing sensation overcome my senses. No matter how much I tried to fight it, my mind was as weak as my body.

This was too much, simply too much. My eyes stared out at the road, unfocused, and I saw nothing. I could hear mumblings around me, but nothing clear. The distant memory of Reverend Searcy's murder was fading away, the images replaced with ones of my own torment. I knew what was coming - the chains I had heard about, the miserable conditions... the all-consuming darkness. Fear paralyzed me.

An eternity passed before we stopped at an inn by the road, just on the inside of Georgia according to the driver. Mr. Greene got out of the car first, and I took the extra space to stretch my cramped legs. A sharp pain shot through my lower back as I moved, and I whimpered without meaning to.

I waited for the bodyguard to move, hoping I could clear my mind if I stepped outside. It was all so foggy. Instead we stayed put, all of the doors closed. The afternoon sun filtered in hurt my eyes, which had become accustomed to the dimness of my position. Eventually Mr. Greene shoved his way back into the car, placing something soft and warm into my open hands. A distinct aroma filled the cramped space, but I couldn't recognize it.

I had no strength left. The muscles in my fingers failed to respond and the food fell onto the seat of the car. I heard a muted voice, sounding strangely garbled to my ears. "I think she's in shock, we need to get her to Milledgeville as soon as possible." Something cool pressed against my forehead.

I tried to struggle against him one last time. It was then that I felt as if my mind were detaching itself from my body. My every muscle gave out, but for a split second, my mind had never been clearer. And I knew with dreadful certainty that I would never escape this. I would not survive it.

Then everything faded to black.

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**author's note: reviews and all that jazz... you know the drill :) I'd just really like to know who is following this story. It gives me more incentive to write.  
**


	8. Dr Allegri

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my character. Except for Allegri. He's all mine ;)**

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**Preface – Daniel Allegri  
**

As the hunter approached me, bared teeth glistening in the moonlight, I became acutely aware of the slowing _thump_,_ thump_, _thump_ behind me. I was about to die, but that didn't matter. I had saved her. My angel was at least a mile away, but her last human heartbeats thundered in my ears.

_Thump_. _Thump_.

… _thump_.

Then silence.

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**Chapter 8: Dr. Allegri**

I approached the familiar hospital building at a slow walk, appreciating my last breaths of clean morning air. In a few minutes I would be surrounded by the suffocating scent of human blood. The very thought had venom pooling in the back of my mouth. I shook my head in an attempt to clear it before opening the main office door and letting myself in.

"Good morning, Dr. Allegri." The receptionist greeted me in a monotone voice, obviously half asleep. I was glad the smell of her strong coffee mingled with her cherry scent, making it all the easier to be in this tiny space.

"Good morning, Candace," I greeted her in the same voice, trying to feign the appearance of being tired. It was yet another thing to check off my "act human" list – act tired on double shifts, never stay too still, never move too fast, remember to breathe normally… it went on and on. "Only a few more hours." A lame attempt at small talk, and something I repeated nearly every day to the nighttime receptionist.

I was usually the first morning shifter to arrive and the last to leave, when it was permissible. As a doctor as Milledgeville, I had become indispensable when they saw my willingness to work double shifts. To me it was simply a convenience. If I arrived before the crack of dawn and left after sundown, there was no risk of being caught unawares in sunlight.

Because, as much as my coworkers were willing to accept the golden eyes, the coldness of my person, and my "beauty," I was relatively sure they would not accept my sparkling skin as normal.

The slight creases on Candace's forehead wrinkled one long eighth of a second before the words came out of her mouth. "Yes, only a few more. There is a new patient, by the way. Arrived shortly after you left last night."

I took a deep breath, checking to see if I could catch a different scent. No such luck. There were simply too many conflicting aromas, mixed in with waste and other foul things. I was about to ask Candace more about the patient but she was already preoccupied with her paperwork.

I nodded silently and continued to my office near the back of the hospital. No one in the side offices so much as turned. My presence here had stopped being something special a long time ago, which was a welcome relief. The first few months I had worked here every female staff member had been trailing after me, and even some of the 'insane' patients. Their self-preservation tactics had turned on soon enough though, and now I was mostly left to my own devices. It usually worked well.

A new file greeted me as I entered my small office, propped up on my desk where I would be sure not to miss it. As I stepped towards it, I heard the distinct footsteps of Mr. Greene – sharp, concise, and yet with the distinguishable squeak of his cheap shoes. His unsteady heartbeat picked up a little speed as he approached me, and I couldn't help but smirk. I knew how uncomfortable I made him.

"Dr. Allegri?" He cleared his throat before speaking. As if I needed any more notice of his loud presence, or particular pine needle scent. "I would like to have a word with you."

"Of course, Mr. Greene," I turned on the spot and gave him a small smile, careful not to show teeth. With extra caution I moved to sit at my desk.

The poor man before me, shifted uncomfortably before speaking. He was my professional superior in every way, and yet his tone said quite the opposite. "I was, uh, wondering if you would take the new patient, Miss Mary Alice Brandon. I went and fetched her myself yesterday morning, but we barely arrived late last night and she is very unresponsive. At first I thought she had slipped into shock, but she has sporadic fits…"

He trailed off, his brow creased with concern. I knew that it was these cases that tore through him. Thomas Greene was unusually kind for this profession, and I often wondered if here were not better off being a normal doctor – one that worked with textbook illnesses. Not these sorts of cases, where we would use physical force if the patients were uncontrollable. Not Milledgeville, where the second either of us turned our backs someone got chained and nearly tortured.

Where a patient that threw sporadic fits was often chained indefinitely, considered a threat to others and themselves. Kept in darkness as a sort of treatment. And some called _me_ a monster.

"Don't worry Thomas, I will try to reason with her." I casually opened the file and pretended to glance over the information at the very top. Unbeknownst to Mr. Greene, I had finished reading the contents of the file by the time he had taken his next breath.

"Try not to let _them_ get her."

"You know I never do."

"Thank you." With that he left me, his heartbeat slowing as he walked further away from me. In the main office I heard him speak assertively to the secretary, having fully regained his composure. Humans were interesting creatures to observe.

Here was Thomas Greene, a man clearly ahead of his time. He was much too kind to be the superintendent of an insane asylum, particularly with how patients were treated. A man with very good self-preservation instincts. Then there were the others – despicable men that took any chance to chain down a patient, and to experiment with new "treatments." I watched after my own as closely as possible, but sooner or later I would have to leave the hospital, because of my human pretenses. Often the pigs undid whatever progress I could make.

I settled in to my chair, letting my mind blank for a few moments as I pretended to read. I reminded myself to blink more often than usual, as if trying to stay awake. When I figured enough time had passed I picked up the file and headed straight toward the room in the far right wing of the hospital where the Brandon girl was being kept.

According to the case file, she was a young girl, age fifteen. Had been brought in because of hallucinations, sporadic fits, and a lack of social development. I allowed myself an eye roll. I was willing to bet my undead life that she could be coaxed to normalcy, but the note scribbled at the bottom of the last page said otherwise. _'Permanent.'_

That little word meant that the family had specifically asked that the patient not be returned home, due to financial or social reasons. Sometimes they honestly believed there was no cure, but that was usually never the case.

I opened the door to the solitary cell slowly, careful not to create much noise. The lights were very dim, but my sharp eyes immediately settled on the girl before me. She was a pitiful sight.

Mary Alice looked very pale in the dim light, tears glistening on her cheeks. Her inky hair was a tangled mess, just like the rest of her. Her clothes looked like they hadn't been washed in days, dusty, wrinkled, and torn. She had bruises scattered throughout her arms, and I noticed she was holding herself tightly, rocking slowly. And she had the _sweetest_ honeysuckle scent.

"Mary Alice?" I called softly, making my voice as comforting as possible. Her face shot up, hazel eyes locking onto my gold ones, and I froze.

The death in her eyes paralyzed me.

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**author's note: I hate Biology. And biology research papers. Truly I do. ... reviews are love :) **


	9. First Impressions

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters. Except for Allegri, because he's all mine ;)**

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**Chapter 9: First Impressions**

_"Mary Alice?" I called softly, making my voice as comforting as possible. Her face shot up, hazel eyes locking onto my gold ones, and I froze._

_The death in her eyes paralyzed me._

Silent seconds passed between us. It was during that time that I felt a warm stirring in the very depths of my stone heart, or the place where it was supposed to be. I could not yet tell if this was sympathy, pity, or… something else, but at that precise moment I wanted nothing more than to comfort the girl before me.

Once the initial shock passed, I took a few steps forward, letting the door close behind us. A quick glance upwards told me that the single incandescent bulb in the room was very low power, probably replaced not too long ago, by the looks of it. They were already planning on keeping her in darkness. Since I could not change that I instead walked slowly to the window off to my right, lifting the blinds to let in the soft morning light. The rays fell on her sitting form, and caused her to momentarily stop rocking.

Mary Alice's eyes squinted at the new light, and for the first time I noticed their lovely light hazel color. She furrowed her brow slightly, blinking rapidly a few times as her eyes adjusted to the light. With the door closed, her sweet honeysuckle scent was quickly saturating the air around us.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, unsure whether she would answer or not. Greene had called her 'unresponsive.'

More long moments passed in silence, and when she finally did speak I was caught off-guard. "Horrible." Her raspy, husky voice told me that she hadn't spoken in many hours, and had probably been crying for most of the night. The very thought was heart wrenching.

I moved gracefully to crouch a few feet in front of her, reminding myself to squat as a human would. Our faces were level when I met her eyes again, and I wore my kindest smile. "And why is that?"

"You have to ask?" Her monotone response caught me off-guard, yet again. Most of the time patients that were abruptly torn from their families were too much in shock to come up with responses like that. They were not usually this rational.

I would need a different approach. I was considering my list of options, pausing a human moment, when her unsteady voice broke the silence again. "I've never seen eyes like yours."

Observant. My eyes were a light gold today, since I had spent the majority of last night hunting. A good thing too, because being this close to such a sweet new scent was proving mildly difficult. I made a mental note of her behavior; she obviously had better mental stability than the other patients. "Yes, I suppose they are lighter than most. Now, Mary Alice, I just wanted to ask you a few questions. Is that alright?"

"Don't call me Mary Alice." She whispered her reproach, but there was a trace of anger in her voice, a spark in her eyes. I had apparently touched a nerve, but it was a good thing. At least she was responding to me.

"Well, what would you prefer I call you?"

"Alice."

This request I could honor. I made sure to shift my weight slightly, sliding forward a few inches. I was almost forgetting to act human with her. "I can do that, Alice. My name is Daniel Allegri, and I will be your primary doctor." I extended my hand to see if she would take it, but nothing. Her arms never released the tight hold around her abdomen.

"I've read your chart, but I wanted to hear a few things from you personally." Only a slight nod. Her eyes had lost the momentary spark of anger, and were dead again. "Well, my main concern was these… hallucinations."

Her eyebrows shot up in indignation, her eyes coming alive again. I had hit another nerve. "They aren't hallucinations!" she cried out, although her voice was so weak I was sure it would not carry outside.

"What would you call them?" I tried to keep my voice soft, smooth. I was very careful about my inflection; never sound accusatory, or disbelieving. The patient had to believe you were their friend. And I desperately _wanted_ to be her friend.

Alice was quiet for a moment, staring at me intently. Her pixie-like features were stiff, but the longer they stared into my own, the more they softened. I was starting to see traces of a kind face, very different from the frightened one I had greeted a little earlier. "They happen when I'm sleeping, but they aren't really dreams." She paused, taking a shuddering breath. I could see her gauging my reaction, so I took care to keep my face unaffected. "They're kind of like visions."

"Can you describe them for me? What are they like?" My voice was intentionally quieter as I tried to give the impression of someone capable of keeping a secret.

Her words flowed very fast now, and had I been human I would have certainly missed them. "Mostly I see images. Scattered flashes here and there, about things that are going to happen. Sometimes they are clearer than others, and I can pick out details. And when I ignore them they become sharper, as if trying to get my attention. I saw cell bars."

The last words were very concise, compared to her other mumblings. It sounded like she was accusing me. I kept still, trying desperately to ignore the scent that was taking over my senses from being so close to her for so long. "I won't let that happen," I said in a voice so low, I'm not sure she heard me. It was a promise I might not be able to keep.

I stayed for a few moments facing her, and when she said nothing else, I stood up. Without thinking I offered my hand again. This time Alice took it, and I easily helped pull her up to a standing position. I released her hand quickly, but it was useless because she clutched at my exposed forearm instead.

Her muscles were obviously cramped because she stumbled, and held on in an attempt to steady herself. It was the longest human contact I had come across for quite some time.

I couldn't begin to describe it. I had never grown accustomed to human warmth. My patients were usually too erratic to risk contact, and everyone else kept their distance. Alice was the first human girl to not appear simultaneously attracted and repulsed. She looked at me with surprise.

"You're cold." She said the words simply, but didn't let go.

"You are just very warm, that's why it feels that way. You might be running a fever." And with that I shifted slightly, taking hold instead of her upper – clothed – arm to keep her steady. I could not afford to feel close to her.

Her slight frown told me she wasn't convinced, so I tried to steer away from the topic of myself. "I'd like to talk more about these… visions. You say they are about the future? Maybe we can find out more about them together."

The spark was gone again. "You think I'm insane."

"No, Alice, I don't. I honestly don't."

It was true. I had the strange impression that the girl before me was certainly unique, but not insane. And I knew it was forbidden, but I desperately wanted to know her, comfort her, and most importantly, get her out of his place. I was determined to do so.

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**author's note: don't have much to say, so... read, review, show some love :)**


	10. Fascination

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters. Except for Allegri. He's all mine ;)**

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**Chapter 10: Fascination**

I had spent most of the morning talking with Alice, trying to get as much information about her as I could. She had been very reluctant in the beginning, but as the hours passed she had grown more comfortable with me. I had learned quite a bit about her family in particular, and even though it wasn't necessary, I had soaked up all of the information.

Alice's father seemed like something of a totalitarian, her mother as a submissive housewife. She was particularly fond of her little sister, and was unable to talk about her without crying. I had felt the oddest desire to comfort her as she sobbed, but was at a complete loss as to how to go about it. My human years were so long past that I simply could not remember. I was only able to keep my distance and wait until the fit was past.

I was forced to stay a few feet away from her body, because as time went on, I found her scent difficult to resist. The venom kept pooling in the back of my throat, even though I had just fed last night. I could not possibly be thirsty and yet the intense burning would not go away.

Alice was certainly not helping the situation. She seemed too comfortable with me, and I wasn't quite sure why. I had not interacted with any sane humans for such a long period of time in centuries, but I was relatively sure this was not normal. My low temperature did not seem to bother her, and neither did my beauty or gold eyes. I would catch her staring at me from time to time, with the most curious expression on her face.

It was not amazement, nor fear or repulsion. Rather, it was understanding. She looked at me as if she knew I was an outsider, confided in me as if we were two members of the same shunned group. Eventually she would creep closer, almost touching me before I created distance again.

When I left to attend my other patients, I kept the image of Alice in the back of my mind. I was not able to stay with her again, except for brief visits, and this introduced a sense of anxiety. I was afraid of what they would do to her when I was gone, particularly on the night watch. This was not normal either. She was just another patient, I told myself repeatedly. Just another patient, another human whose life would pass in a matter of decades. That particular thought brought on a sharp stab of pain in the middle of my empty chest.

I went home that night much against my own will. I had told Greene over and over that I believed Alice required special attention, that I was afraid of leaving her alone. He had muttered some nonsense of me needing sleep and sent me out. And so I found myself alone in my makeshift home, a small cottage a quick run from the hospital.

Time had never passed so slowly as that night. I could not get the silly human girl out of my thoughts. What bothered me most was that I could not understand why. Yes, she was unique, as far as her accurate visions went. Her pixie features were curiously beautiful, and she carried herself with a certain grace. But I had met _many_ humans like her in my six hundred years of existence.

Time came for me to go to work again, and I still had not figured out the unnatural hold Alice possessed over me.

"Did you sleep at all, Daniel?" Greene's voice sounded concerned when he cornered me in the office the next morning. "Day in and day out, I see you in here. It seems like all you do is work."

I tried to brush off his concerns. There was no use in telling him that I had nothing to live for _besides_ my work. I had no coven, no mate, nothing to look forward to tomorrow. The last one hundred years or so had passed in this way.

The first four hundred years of my existence I had lived as all nomad vampires do, traveling the European and Asian continents. I had had my share of encounters with other vampires, but had never formed allegiances, or met my true mate. Feed on humans when necessary, travel, and keep hidden – that was all there was to the immortal life. There had been no moral issues until I had met a fair-haired vampire in London.

His golden eyes drew my attention, and we had played a game of cat and mouse for weeks. Had I known my life would change so drastically, I may have not pursued him. We fought briefly the night we met, but soon his civilized words had won me over. I spent the next year essentially as an apprentice, learning the ways of this curious golden-eyed vampire. He fed on animal blood, having some sort of moral opposition to human blood. And for some reason, this life appealed to me.

We eventually went our separate ways, but I would spend the next one hundred years in constant battle with myself. That was how long it took me to become accustomed to the new life. The compassionate side of me had been awakened, and there was no going back. I would spend weeks feeding solely on animal blood, then come across a particularly delicious scent and slip up. I would torture myself for it, and then the cycle would begin anew. I eventually grew strong, and after I became used to the constant aching for human blood, I had slowly introduced myself into their society.

And these last one hundred years had been spent serving them as a doctor in the United States. A part of me hoped that by saving lives, I would eventually redeem myself for all those I had taken. But I had quickly learned that I could not handle fresh blood – working in a regular hospital was out of the question. Instead, I had attended the university and installed myself as a specialist in mental disorders at Milledgeville State Hospital. These patients did not bleed.

My life flashed through my mind in the amount of time Mr. Greene had finished telling me about my morning assignments. "…and I would like you to keep an eye on Miss Brandon. I thought she was adjusting well yesterday – it seemed like you made good progress – but this morning she appeared unwell."

"Yes, certainly. In fact, I'll go check on her now." I didn't give him a chance to respond, rushing at a barely human pace out of my office. The anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach was growing. I had a strong desire to see her again.

I reached her room and eased in silently. As soon as she saw me, Alice threw her arms around me, sobbing endlessly. I immediately saw the source of her distress.

Her inky black tresses were gone. Someone had cut off all of her beautiful hair, leaving a ragged mess. It was ridiculously short in some areas, bald in others. I was feeling ready to go and murder the one who had done this to her, when I recalled the scribbled note at the bottom of her chart this morning. _'High fever. Attempted to lower.'_

"I'm so sorry Alice, I'm so very sorry." Her hot cheek pressed against my shirt, and I realized that she still felt too warm. I carefully pulled her away from me, feeling a little uncomfortable with the human contact. It was too difficult. Instead I pressed my hand to her forehead, knowing I would feel even icier than usual to her.

She let out a shuddering breath, whispering in a voice so low only I could hear. "Why?"

"You had a high fever, and particular member –_ idiot – _of the night shift believes long hair contributes unnecessary heat to the body." I was sure to insert my own opinion so quickly she would not catch it. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to stop them."

She was silent for a few moments. I could tell she was leaning slightly into my hand. "Please don't leave again. Bad things happen when you aren't here." Her voice was so small; I found it impossible to say no.

"I won't, Alice. I promise I will do my best to protect you." Little did I know in less than twenty-four hours I would be forced to break my promise.

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**author's note: I seriously did not plan to include so much Dr. Allegri back story, but he won't stay quiet! He keeps popping in as I'm writing, telling me more about his life, and I just feel obligated to include at least pieces of it (yes, my characters talk to me - often). I promise this will become more Alice-focused later, but... well, I think the vampire that turned her is important too, no? Reviews are love :)**


	11. Accident

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. These are not my characters. Except for Allegri, he's all mine ;)**

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**Chapter 11: Accident**

"Dr. Allegri, how old are you?" Her question reminded me to shift my weight from one foot to the other. Act human, always remember to act human. As a stall, I moved to sit on the edge of Alice's bed.

I had once again spent nearly the whole day by her side, leaving only a few times to do a quick check of my other patients. Most of them were fully gone mentally, or so detached from the world that they did not miss my presence. And those that were relatively sane were often so erratic it was safer not to spend too much time with them. Humans were so very fragile, and I was not sure I would be able to control myself if I had to restrain someone. A hundred years was not _nearly_ enough time to master self-discipline.

"Why do you ask?" It was pointless. She asked because she was perceptive. I didn't fool her with my human pretenses, and I don't think I ever had.

Alice sat opposite me on the bed, legs crossed underneath her. Her light hazel eyes bore into me as her fingers idly played with the edge of the sheets. "You look very young, but… you certainly do not seem like it."

"I actually just turned twenty-two." Six hundred and twenty-two, maybe. Give or take a few decades.

"How are you working as a doctor then? Don't you need a lot of years of school and such?" I couldn't help but stare at her for a few short moments after she asked me. It was reassuring to see no malice in her features.

"I moved rather quickly through my first degree, did a short internship at my university, and was granted a job here at the age of twenty-one. So, I suppose my title isn't entirely accurate. I'm not a _doctor_ in the sense that you might know it. I focused my studies on illnesses of the mind, and since that in itself is such an obscure topic, you can't really get _certified_ in it." I let a long breath, inhaling again her sweet honeysuckle. "But I'd really like to talk more about you, Alice."

It seemed like I had been in this position a lot today. I would try to talk to Alice about her own history, at least to be able to write something down in her chart. But sooner or later the conversation would drift to me, and she would pick out detail after detail about my immortal existence. Why I avoided the sunny window, why my eyes appeared to change color today (darker because of the thirst she brought out in me), and now my age. I had learned almost nothing about her condition.

Not that I believed she was insane. But I still needed something to write down for the amount of hours I was spending with her these past two days. Hours I normally spent in my office, or doing rounds for the other staff. '_Sane patient with accurate premonition'_ wouldn't really cut it either.

"Oh," was her simple response, followed by silence. "If I behave, will I be able to leave sooner?"

I visibly winced. How do you tell someone, anyone, that their family specifically does not want them back?

"I can't guarantee anything, and for that I'm sorry. But I will try to get you out of here as soon as possible." That I had already decided. I wasn't sure when, but I had determined sometime last night that I would not leave Milledgeville until I could free Alice. I was hardly a matter of choice, to be perfectly honest with myself. The thought of being away from her for too long a time was nerve-wracking. Even worse was the thought of leaving her in this hellhole while I started over in another place. I would not, could not bear it. She was too special.

I would steal her away, situate her in another place, and then secretly stay by her side while she led a human life. At least, that's what I was telling myself.

We sat in amiable silence for a few minutes. I gave her a quick smile before checking the clock. "I have to do some rounds and things, but I will try and be back before I leave." Alice nodded and returned my smile, but stayed in place. She was quickly learning the no-contact rule.

I reluctantly left to do some of my other paperwork, although it was pointless. I would have six or seven hours to do it during the night, but as always – human pretenses. I mostly pretended to work for the next half hour or so before gathering my things for the night. Coat in hand, I attempted to head to Alice's room once more before leaving.

Greene intercepted me. "Going home, Daniel? I'm glad to see it."

"Yes, but I wanted to check in on, uh – one of my patients." I didn't mention her name. It was probably getting too suspicious, and I was aware of that. I didn't exactly have a good reputation for bedside manner, and I was going over the top with Alice.

"She'll be fine, trust me." Apparently I wasn't fooling anyone. "I promise Mary Alice will still be fine tomorrow, just get yourself home!' He good-humouredly pushed me towards the door. If only he had an idea of exactly who – or more precisely, _what_ – he was pushing around, he might be more careful.

It took a superhuman effort to walk calmly outside. The night air blew around us, and I knew instinctively that it would be cold to a human. Since Greene was still with me I threw on my coat, although there was no need. I started off on my walk home, thoughts drifting back to Alice. I still felt an unnatural fascination with her, but I had stopped fighting it. It was so much easier to let my mind wander, distract itself by recalling every one of her gestures and smiles. There was no use trying to understand anyway.

I took the general road to my cottage, getting there in less than half an hour. But once I got there, I realized how difficult it would be to stay. The emptiness had never bothered me before, but today, it created a sharp stab in my chest. I found myself once again longing to hear her quiet voice, even though I knew she should be asleep by now. Hopefully, my Alice was dreaming of peaceful things.

I forced myself to stay the rest of the night, sitting in quiet stillness as only an immortal was capable of. The melancholy only worsened. To ease the feeling I quickly changed into my work clothes and wandered outside again at the crack of dawn. The sun was not yet fully risen, and I figured I could get a quick hunt in before going to the hospital. I had been spending so much time around the sweet, concentrated scent of Alice I already felt thirsty.

As I snuck outside, away from the roads, I weighed my options. There was hardly any decent large game around here, so I figured I would have to stick to my usual small prey. There was a small forest a quick run north of my home, and plenty of small deer. Without second thought, I started heading there.

On the way I passed the last Milledgeville house, hearing three slow, sleeping heartbeats within. This family lived on the very outskirts of civilization, away from the town. I slowed down as usual in passing, coming to a halt about a hundred feet away within the forest. Instinctively I dropped into a crouch. Three heartbeats in the distance, but the humans were far enough away. I could allow myself a few last rational thoughts.

The run here had been filled with images of Alice, coming and going of their own accord. Mostly I tried to imagine what it would be like to hold her; not as a vampire, but another soft, warm human. Those were the last images I allowed as I relaxed my muscles. With a deep breath I took in the scents around me, focusing solely on smell. Hunting was the only time I really let the demon loose, and the change was remarkable. In an instant, my senses sharpened even more. Scents – sweet, spicy, but none were particularly appealing. The soft scurrying of insects, the earth vibrating beneath me, a faint breeze. I became absorbed in the surroundings.

And then I was off. I ran with caution, taking care not to soil my work clothes. If I was careful enough, I could pull my hunt off and no one would be the wiser. I ran faster than the wind, my feet hardly touching the ground beneath me. As I ran I hit a sweet, slightly floral scent. My body instinctively turned towards it, running closer to the ground as I neared my target.

I turned sharply and was closing in on the small herd of deer when a delicious cinnamon scent washed over me, carried in on the wind. It was like running into an enormous wave – the scent overwhelmed my senses, and I knew immediately what it was.

And while my civilized self was screaming at me to stop, the predator honed in on the new target. As I drew closer, the rational side of me disappeared.

I felt a snarl rising in my throat at the same instant that I pounced on the creature huddled by a tree. My mind did not register the shock on the man's widened eyes, or the strangled cry of fear coming from his throat. I barreled into him, hearing the sickening crunch of several bones. We landed in a tumble; I controlled the rolling so I ended on top. Both of our things were flying every which way, but that didn't matter. My pathetic prey didn't have a chance.

The demon inside me laughed gleefully as I sunk my teeth into the exposed skin of his throat. The wonderful, sweet, warm liquid that flooded my mouth was unlike anything. It was pure bliss, a drug to my deprived form. I drunk greedily from the pitiful human, savoring the delicious, oh-so-forbidden taste.

It wasn't until a few minutes had passed that the compassionate side awakened again, already in mourning. I abruptly lifted my mouth from the man's throat, which still spewing the brilliant red liquid.

_Oh no. Oh no, no, NO._

I stumbled back, acutely aware of two warring sides of me. The demon was celebrating, trying to force me to go back and finish draining the body. The human – for lack of better word – was screaming at me to run as far away as I could.

I ran.

I ran until I was back home, stripping away my blood-drenched shirt as I walked through the door. I rushed into my bathroom, not bothering to act human. The grimy mirror greeted me. I saw my reflection as it had always been. My jet-black hair, slightly wavy and windblown from the run. My defined jaw line, softer cheekbones, pale skin. There was one difference today. And I couldn't help but break down into dry sobs as I stared at my reflection, my eyes.

My eyes. Twin golden orbs, now tainted with red rings growing from the inside out.

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**author's note: My poor Daniel :( I would have had this chapter out sooner, but I kept forgetting little vampiric details, which forced me to write, delete, and rewrite several times over. So, this is actually the fourth or fifth version of this chapter. And I don't really like it. Anyway, read and review :)**


	12. Running

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters. Except Allegri. He is so so so all mine.**

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**Chapter 12: Running**

_The demon inside me laughed gleefully as I sunk my teeth into the exposed skin of his throat. The wonderful, sweet, warm liquid that flooded my mouth was unlike anything. It was pure bliss, a drug to my deprived form. I drunk greedily from the pitiful human, savoring the delicious, oh-so-forbidden taste._

I stayed frozen in a state of shock for what seemed like an eternity. Even as I watched I could see the inner red of my eyes growing. Seeing the color tore me apart, sparked a fierce hatred for what I was. After Carlisle, it was always this way after I drank human blood.

Thankfully, I hadn't had enough human blood to turn my eyes completely, and that would work in my favor. But still, I could not go to the hospital.

My brain started functioning again as the beginning hour of my shift grew nearer – the human pretense was the only thing that moved me. I threw on another shirt and a coat, grabbed a dark pair of glasses, and nearly ran to the hospital.

I stayed only long enough to inform the morning secretary that I was very ill and could not work that day. She started asking questions but I quickly dismissed them. Just a cold from the wind last night, I told her. I couldn't risk infecting the patients. It didn't take long to convince her and I was gone again.

I needed to find that man. The civilized man in me needed to find him, not the demon. My trail was still fresh, and the cinnamon scent only grew stronger as I approached the site. During the short run images of Alice once again filled my mind. These were not pleasant.

All I could think of now was – what if it had been her? I knew it was nearly impossible, but the image of her lifeless, pale, drained would not leave my thoughts. As much as I tried to deny it, I was a vampire. I was a creature designed to kill. Could I put her in danger? Could I risk being in close proximity again, so soon after my relapse?

It didn't take me long to arrive at the bloody scene. A small part of me had wished the man were dead, so that I would not have to worry about helping him. Still, the larger part of me only wanted to find him alive, so I could somehow heal him; drain the venom, take him to the hospital, save him. I found neither.

In the hours I had been away, the man was gone. There was only the puddle of blood where he had been, not nearly as appealing now. I could pick out the spot where I had pounced on him, the scattered leaves and broken branches in the brush. And I could easily smell the presence of another human, and their mixed scents traveling away.

Someone had found him.

I followed the mingled scents, struggling to pinpoint the second person. When I reached the end point of the trail, I knew. I was facing the last house I had passed just this morning, and there were no longer three sleeping heartbeats. There were three very frightened heartbeats, and the smell of dead blood. There was my victim, clearly dead, on the porch.

The man and woman of the house were huddled over him, talking in whisper I could hear clearly.

"Is Susan upstairs?"

"Yes, I sent her there so that she wouldn't… see this. But she knows something is going on. She's scared." Heavy breathing. I could tell they were both as scared as their daughter.

"Where did you find him?"

"About a half hour hike from here. Fits the description of the lost hiker they were talking about just yesterday. He was already half dead when I found him, and by the time we got to the house I could tell he was… gone. Bled to death, it seems. There was quite a scene." The man's voice broke. I could smell the dried blood on his clothes even from here.

"Do you think it was an animal?"

A pause. "It would seem like it, but why it just leave him there? And the wound is mostly on his neck, nearly ripped clean off. No other slashes." The man's words were cold now, speculative. "I found something at his feet."

If I had been human, I'm sure I would have broken out in cold sweat. I instinctively sifted through the pockets of my work pants. Nothing.

"What did you find?"

"An identification tag, from the Milledgeville hospital." Stunned silence. It was then that I ran.

I crashed through my door, shattering the doorknob and hinges. It would not matter. I ripped through the bloodied shirt I had worn this morning, but found nothing. Even when I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the distinct scent of the hospital identification tags, I could not find my tag. Because it was not here.

That was all I needed to know. I knew with dreadful certainty that I could not stay here any longer. I was not exactly well known, or well loved by the people of the town – that small piece of evidence would make me a wanted man in a manner of hours.

I swept through the house in less than five minutes, destroying what I could. I never liked to leave evidence of my presence. Once every single piece of furniture was smashed, every article of clothing in shreds, I took a brief moment of pause.

This was it. Alice, my beautiful Alice. Could I bear to leave her? I turned this over mentally before coming to a rash decision.

There was no other choice at the moment. I could not steal her away now. She was too young, too noticeable, and I didn't think myself capable of being in her honeysuckle scent for too long. Not to mention our combined disappearances would spark a search, and she would not be able to live normally for some time. There was no other choice I _could_ consider.

And then, for what seemed like the umpteenth time today, I ran. I ran without direction this time, without purpose. I ran away from my horrendous crime, from the murder of an innocent. I ran away from the only creature I had ever felt close to.

My thoughts, always clearer when I ran, were torturous. I mentally abused myself over and over for what I had done, rejecting the immortal being that I was. I reprimanded myself for not being more careful, for getting too lenient. I had hunted too close to civilization, risked too much when I let loose so close to people. I forced myself not to recall the delicious taste of human blood, always better after a long period of abstaining. Most of all, I refused to think of Alice. I could not bear it.

Day passed quickly, then night. Day again. Night, day, night, day. I was sure I must be running circles around all of North America, but I never stopped. If I stopped running, I knew I would break down and be utterly useless. The moment I stopped, I knew images of Alice would come crashing down and drown me in sorrow.

I could never stop running.

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**author's note: I think I'm getting carried away with Allegri. I just like him too much. Still, this is a story about Alice, so I will be focusing more on her. I foresee a time jump in the near future. And possible a separate story about Allegri. Just because I may not be able to help it. Reviews are virtual love :)**


	13. Magnetic Pull

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters. Except Allegri, ALL mine ;)  
**

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**Chapter 13: Magnetic Pull**

It had taken one foolish, careless mistake to separate myself from the one I loved.

_Loved_. I loved Alice. It had taken three weeks, two days, and seven hours of running before I had allowed myself this fact. It was the only logical reason for why being away from her hurt me so much. Made the empty spot in my chest ache relentlessly. I loved that kind girl, the one who had accepted me for who I was without a second thought, even when she hardly knew me. I loved her tender voice, her graceful figure, and her unbearingly sweet scent. I loved everything about her. The realization had stunned me, caused me to finally stop running.

I had fallen in love with a human girl.

It took me another whole day to finally accept what I had to do, for my own sanity. I had first hunted. The intense burning of my throat had to be dealt with before anything else. After I had gorged on animal blood and turned my eyes light butterscotch yellow, I had allowed myself to sit and think. Well, it mostly involved wallowing in self-pity at first.

But the more I sat in motionless silence, turning over the possibilities in my mind, the more my one choice became obvious – I had to go back. I couldn't leave her to suffer at Milledgeville. And so I ran back, pushing my muscles to their very limit in hopes of arriving at Georgia faster. I still wasn't sure of what I could expect.

I arrived at Milledgeville around one a.m., where my first stop was the police station. As I hovered at the back window, away from any potential human's line of sight, I caught the blaringly obvious poster on the wall. There was my hospital staff picture, together with scrawled writing along the bottom. _'Wanted for Murder. Possibly escaped to other state.'_

On the table I could make out a relatively small file with my name across the top. I sighed, letting the memory of my crime wash over me for a fraction of a second. There was no way I could make myself seen. I might have stayed longer, but human movement coming towards the window made me turn away. Besides, there were other, more pressing, things to deal with. Like my Alice.

Even as I crept closer to the hospital, I could feel her being pulling me in. She was like my own personal magnet, reeling me in towards the hospital. Positive force drawing in my negative. I absently wondered how I had avoided her pull for so long.

I took a deep breath as I neared the back end of the hospital, taking in one clean whiff of the night air. I then focused all of my senses on seeking out Alice. Her scent was imprinted on my mind, and it only took a couple of deep breaths before I pinpointed her location in the left wing of the top floor – long-term cells for asylum patients. I scaled the wall effortlessly, following the sound of the sleeping heartbeat and arriving within seconds.

The tension inside of me uncoiled slowly as I caught my first sight of her in nearly a month. It was if I could finally breathe, as if a heavy weight I hadn't known was there was lifted from my chest. I felt my muscles relax. She slept, albeit restlessly, turning to face the window as I gazed in.

She seemed beautiful, even in the darkness. My superior eyesight could pick out her short dark hair, which had grown out a few inches, framing her pixie face. Her slender form was curled up in a ball, obviously tensed in the middle of a dream. She was breathing irregularly, beads of sweat forming on her forehead even as I watched. Her pale skin seemed to glow in the few beams of moonlight that streamed in. My beautiful Alice, my angel, was perfection.

I watched her for hours the first night. At one point she had mumbled something unintelligible, reaching out towards the empty space beneath the window. I could almost feel her pull grow stronger. If I had had a heart, it was would have skipped a beat. As dawn approached I had pulled myself away from the window, seeking refuge in the far north stretch of forest until night came again.

And so I spent night after night, for the next two months or so. I could not go when she was awake, because I could not risk being seen. But every night I watched her sleeping form. Some nights she slept better than others, her face the picture of relaxation. Other nights she seemed to be having nightmares, horrible dreams that made her face contort with pain. It was during those nights that she would reach out towards the window, and I would fight the urge to go to her. I could not be seen.

I could always pick up the scent of her attending doctor, which changed halfway through the second month. At first it had apparently been Greene, as his aroma was strongest in the room, scattered with some nurses. But very abruptly, it changed to one I did not recognize. It was a strong spicy scent, and for some reason I did not like it.

It persisted for a few days, and then one night she was gone. I climbed up to her window as usual and she was no longer in her bed. Anxiety overwhelmed me and I forced myself to drop down to ground level before I did something rash. A few deep breaths of unnecessary air calmed me, and a few more told me that Alice's scent was no longer on the upper building, except for faint traces in the bottom floor. That only left one other place she could be. I froze.

She had to be in the basements. That was the only place where her scent would be covered up, unable to circulate in the air. I very nearly broke out into sobs.

The basements were reserved for the worst patients, those who showed no improvement or volatile behavior. Of course, I had no idea which applied to Alice. I could not observe her in the daytime, after all. If she had refused to deny her visions, if she was throwing fits, they would have moved her. Moved her into total darkness. Moved her to a place where they would give her new experimental "treatments," figuring she had nothing to lose.

Confusion was the next emotion I was aware of. Where was Greene? He was incredibly strict about allowing patients to the basements – he hadn't allowed admittance to anyone for almost over a year, and had removed most of the former patients. In his mind the treatments only worsened the cases, and showed no positive results.

A quick scout through town revealed the answer. I searched Greene's house first, and found admittance papers for a hospital down in Atlanta. According to the quick notes in messy handwriting, Thomas Greene had been admitted to Atlanta Hospital for worsening flu symptoms. From the tenor of the note, it sounded like a family member jotting down what they could before rushing out. Probably his wife leaving a note for their grown children.

I ran back to the hospital, but was stuck outside. If Greene was gone for an indefinite amount of time, they probably had a new assistant director running things. And from the looks of it, he had no qualms about the basements. I ended up pacing outside the back entrance to the hospital, knowing there was no way I could spend any length of time down there. Even if I snuck in, it would be difficult to go unnoticed, by her side, for the night. And even if I managed, I would have to leave in the morning, risking my cover. Not to mention the fact that they were probably watching out for me because of my crime. It was too risky, and even though I knew that, I almost crept in. Almost.

As dawn approached I reluctantly left for my usual hiding place. As I ran, I realized that I had found my angel, only to lose her again. And lose her to a fate much worse than anything I could have imagined. Now I could only hope that they would remove her to the upper floor soon. Otherwise…

When I reached the forest, I sat at the base of a tree in perfect stillness. I forced the anxiety to ebb away, leaving only a renewed hole in my chest. I already missed her. But despite that, I could not afford to be rash. If I risked my cover, it could prove dangerous to both of us. I wanted her to be safe – especially from me – at all times. I decided to wait it out. Besides, what else could I do while Alice remained so young? I had to accept that whisking her away into the night was not a viable option.

That night I went to the hospital again, only to be disappointed. Her scent was nearly gone from the building, and yet I could sense her just below the surface. Another night passed without seeing her. And another. Every time the disappointment was a sharp stab, and every night I hoped the next would be better.

Another year passed in the same manner, and although I returned every single night to watch, my angel never resurfaced.

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**author's note: So, I feel I have to give a brief explanation for why the past two chapters were so focused on the side character, Daniel Allegri. As we know, unfortunate bad things happen to Alice, and I knew that if he were there, he would never ever allow them. I needed him out of the human picture. At first I tried to set up a scene where someone saw him in a fatal situation, and he had to pretend that he was dead, but that didn't work. Allegri kept reminding me that he cannot be stabbed, drowned, or in any way snuck up on - he is a vampire after all. So that left him removing himself, and even though he fought me, the best way was for him to slip up. (Chapter 11 took me about 5 tries because of all these issues.) Of course, "slipping up" was a HUGE deal to him, which is why I spent two chapters dealing with it. And straying away from the main Alice story. -phew- Long explanation, huh? **

**Read, review, alert - just let me know you're still around ;)**


	14. Tracker

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters. Except Allegri, who's chapters are numbered :( -sniff-**

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**Chapter 14: Tracker**

I counted down steadily. Five hundred seventy-seven days… Five hundred forty-six… Five hundred twenty-five…. Four hundred, ninety-three.

I counted down the days until Alice would turn eighteen years of age. That was what I considered the safe age, when I would be able to slip in one night and take her away from the torture. It was close to my physical age of twenty, so that would be good too. We could go to another state, and there wouldn't be any issue, since she would be an adult. We could work out a happily ever after, assuming she would want me…

If not – and I shuddered at this thought - then she would at least be safe from Milledgeville, which had become a true hellhole since Greene was gone. He never had come back, and I could only assume that he had died in Atlanta. I had mourned his passing, but in time it was forgotten. He was only human after all, old and fragile. It had to happen eventually.

And yet I could not see the same future for my Alice. Even though I knew she too was human – was much too aware of this fact – she could not suffer the same fate. If only she would let me, want me. I planned on saving her. Changing her. Truth was, I could no longer live without her. If she would take me, I would make her forget all of this suffering. And I would have an eternity to do it.

I hovered around the hospital like a ghost, leaving only to hunt. They brought her to the ground floor about once a month, and although it was only for a few minutes, it was enough to imprint her scent in my mind again. I just had to try not to look at her, because doing so would nearly kill me. She was losing weight off her already small frame, and they never let her hair get too long. Her eyelids would flutter against the evening sun, but only for a second before she closed them again. I didn't think she could get any paler. They brought her out for minutes, just a quick check-in to supposedly 'prove' she still needed to live in the basement, and down she went again.

It took every ounce of strength not to kill the man that brought her out and whisk her away. But I had to bide my time. It was easier for me, since I had lived so many centuries as an immortal. Time could pass almost without noticing, and often it did. I would only move from my frozen state when I would pick out the doctors talking about her, or catch her faint scent. I hardly even hunted lately. My whole being was focused on counting down to the exact day I would take her away. I tried to repeat over and over that it would be worth it, because I would offer her an eternity of happiness in return.

Everything was going according to plan until I caught a different scent one night. This one was different, and very obviously a vampire. It had broken me from my trance immediately, and I had straightened out of my crouch. The wind had brought the scent with it, but it died down almost immediately. I didn't know where it had come from, since I had focusing my attention completely on picking up the faint scent of Alice.

I sprung forward immediately, taking advantage of the cover of night. I sprinted and did a quick lap of Milledgeville, trying to track down the scent. It was as if my animalistic tendencies had been awakened – a potential enemy, a threat to my territory and my mate. I bared my teeth as I ran, trying to seek out the threat. It didn't take long, because he was surprisingly close to the hospital.

The trail was fresh, and kept carefully away from my usual perch. If the wind hadn't picked up I might not have traced the scent. I followed the trail up to the entrance of the hospital, where it stopped abruptly in a small alcove by the gate. There was a tiny window peeking up out from the ground, and faint sounds of movement could be heard below. It was a window to the basements, opened up to let some air in. Even as I stood by the opening, I caught the unique scent of Alice floating up.

Sweet, sweet honeysuckle, stronger than I had smelled for months. It made my mouth water, my throat burn all over again. She had to be nearby.

I heard a sharp sound above me, and the next thing I knew a lithe figure dropped down next to me, probably having hid the next floor up. I hissed low under my breath, jumping back and into a crouch, my arms held open to defend the opening. How had I not noticed him? The animosity coming off of him was tangible. The vampire opposite me snarled, baring his teeth in the moonlight. We stood poised, ready to fight, for what seemed like an eternity.

Second ticked by. He shifted a centimeter to the right, and I followed. I had to keep the small window protected at all times. Somehow, I knew it meant protecting Alice. Another shift, and I did the same. Finally, he spoke in a low, dangerous voice. "Have something to _protect_, old one?" I nearly scoffed. I looked younger than he did physically. However, the truth of his words was not lost on me. Something about his arrogance told me he was probably half my age. Unfortunately, he also looked more experienced with fighting – I could see it in his stance, his confidence.

I tensed. "What are you doing here? There are plenty of humans elsewhere."

He stared at me for such a long time that I thought he wouldn't answer. Then, as if explaining something to a child, he spoke again. "I caught a scent I happen to like here. She smells so sweet… like honeysuckle." I flinched. He noticed. "It's so very faint, but stronger underground. You know, don't you? You're protecting her."

He said it as a statement, and I instinctively inched back towards the wall and window. Her scent was definitely stronger here. "Leave this place. I will personally tear you to shreds if you so much as touch a hair on her head."

Somehow my threat didn't have the desired effect. Instead, the vampire laughed. "I'm a tracker." Abruptly, he was very serious. "My prey _never_ escapes."

Suddenly he was running directly away from me, his figure disappearing in less than a second. I slackened my tense muscles, trying to decide whether to chase him or not. What if it was a trap? I couldn't risk leaving this place while it was still dark. I could no longer smell him, but the defensive instinct was still running high. Keeping my back to the building I crouched down low, inhaling deeply from the air coming from the window. The more time I spent nearby, the stronger her scent seemed to be. I took a few more deep breaths before straightening up again.

I had no other choice. I knew I could not hope that this tracker was just bluffing. I could not risk hoping that maybe he would forget about it if I could keep him away long enough. He had spoken with such confidence, such conviction, that I knew he wasn't lying. There was a fire in his eyes when he spoke of his prey, and no fear at all for my interference. He probably _wanted_ a challenge. I could not risk him getting her before me. I would have to push my plan forward a year.

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**author's note: I wanted to move further into the plot line in this chapter, but if I kept going it would have been too long for my brain, heh. Allegri's chapters are coming to a close, so... enjoy him while you can! I know I am ;) Read, review, the works. And thanks to everyone who has been following so far, it means a lot to me!**


	15. Saving Alice

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters. Except Allegri. Who I am holding on to for dear life.**

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**Chapter 15: Saving Alice**

I hovered close by the hospital the rest of the night, but the tracker did not make another appearance. I was on high alert though, and the incredible desire to defend what was 'mine' nearly overruled precaution. Every slightest noise, right down to the ants scurrying a hundred feet away, made me jump and glance around warily. I only risked speeding away when the morning shift arrived. I could only hope the tracker would not try to do anything in broad daylight. The sun was up today, and forced me to stay close to the shadows for the half a minute it took me to get home. Or what was left of it.

The cottage was still in place, but was now boarded up, presumably by the humans. A wanted poster with my face was stuck right on the front door, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. So ironic that I had lived amongst them for months. Instead of disturbing the front I crept around to the back, trying to pick up any other scents. None except the humans, with the very faintest trace of my own. No tracker.

I used my hands to carve out a small entrance in the back of the stone cottage, daring to leave it only a foot high. The brush here was tall enough to cover the opening. There were plenty of wild roses along this side of the house, and although I knew it was next to impossible, I hoped that the scent might be enough of a cover. I was sure Alice could fit through there, and it wouldn't be noticeable to the humans. It opened up right into my old windowless study, which would be perfect for hiding out. Just three days. I would just need three days to make her safe. Asking her was out of the question now.

A part of me was demanding that I get permission first, but this was out of the question. If I didn't change her into a vampire, she would not last a month out of the asylum – or in it, for that matter. Her days were counted even now. And I could not bear to strip the world of my angel. She _needed_ to exist.

It proved rather easy for me to slide through the narrow opening, and I managed without too much trouble. The strong smell of dust and cobwebs and small insects assaulted my senses as I straightened up inside. The place was a total mess, just as I had left it. I set about fixing it up right away.

The next few hours went by in a flash, and I found myself sitting again outside the hospital. The study was clean now, rid of most of the dust and annoying things that had taken up residence in my absence. There was a decent couch in there that had apparently escaped my destruction, and I had managed to sneak in a few blankets to make it softer. The entrance was completely camouflaged, and I had taken great care to mask my scent in any way possible. I had also crisscrossed as best I could all over Milledgeville, hoping that I could mix up my scent enough so that the tracker wouldn't find us quickly. I had done everything I could, and now was waiting for the sun to set outside the hospital.

The weak point was when the majority of those in the day shift were shuffling out, and the grumpy night workers came in. Just the right amount of confusion that I might be able to slip in. I just needed enough time to sneak Alice out.

The last rays of light disappeared behind the horizon, and I shifted forward anxiously. As soon as the first people began trickling out, I made my move.

In the darkness it was easy to find a way to the entrance unnoticed. I waited until a group of about five came out, slipping in like a breeze before the door closed. I didn't stop moving until I was secure in the stairwell that led down to the basements. Less than a second passed. I listened intently for the sounds of doubt. The secretary settled into her chair with a minute squeak, and I could hear her lips brushing against themselves as she mumbled something unintelligible. One woman outside commented on the draft she had felt. Other than that, safe.

I eased carefully down the rest of the stairs, thankful I hadn't encountered anyone else. The doctors in the basement generally worked on different schedules, and that would work to my advantage. I paused right outside the door that led to the main downstairs facilities, honing in my senses on the one scent I needed. Cinnamon, lilac, pine, basil, roses… honeysuckle. Honeysuckle. She was within quick running distance, no more than two rooms away. I concentrated even more so on her scent.

Not two rooms. She was on the far side of the room just opposite the door, pressed up against the wall. I could hear the creaking of the makeshift bed underneath her. Her heart was beating just a little too quickly to be asleep, so she was either calm or having a nightmare. I was willing to bet on the latter.

"I'm coming," I whispered in a voice so low no one could have possibly heard me. My ears told me that there was only one other in the room right now, but steps could be heard behind closed doors. Three pairs of humans, one walking much slower than the others and dragging his feet. Possibly a patient? That's when I heard one of them talk. "Please, no more…" The voice sounded male, and incredibly feeble.

A gruffer one spoke up in reply. "But maybe it will work this time." He concluded with a harsh chuckle under his breath. I could sense the evil coming from him. To himself, he added. "Stupid old man doesn't know what he got into. I'll have to tell Kearney to let me keep him a while longer."

I could swear I saw red at that comment. Somehow, I suddenly wasn't the worst monster in this building. Was Kearney the one just inside this door? It was worth a shot. "Kearney, get your ass in here, I need help!" I shouted out, imitating the gruff voice I had heard just seconds ago. The man on the opposite side of the door -Kearney?- stumbled a bit in whatever he was writing, and then swore under his breath. I must have guessed right, because I could hear him ease up out the chair and step towards the other room. As he was opening the door, he called out, "What do you want?" in what was an almost amusing irritated tone. Almost.

I didn't delay another second. In the time it took him to peek his head around the other door, I was inside the room. It took me an eighth of a second to sweep the room, find Alice, and pick the easiest path back. Another quarter to run here, scoop her sleeping form up into my arms, and rush back to my door before it had swung shut. In a half a second, I was on the other side of the door, rushing up the stairs. I didn't bother with secrecy now, they would find out soon what had happened.

I was clearly able to see the look of shock on the secretary's face as her head snapped up to look at the door that had mysteriously opened. She hadn't registered the fact before I was out of the entrance doors and running towards my cottage. Even as I ran, I could hear the gruff voice downstairs swearing, barely informing Kearney he hadn't said a word.

By that time I was at the makeshift entrance to my cottage. I was as gentle as possible, easing Alice's slight form through the opening and covering up our entrance as best I could. I set her down tenderly on the couch, watching her as her eyes fought to stay closed. She must be pretending that this was just another nightmare, because her heart was racing with the adrenaline rush. I had to make her see me.

"Alice?" I whispered, kneeling on the edge of the couch. Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of my voice, widening in shock. She looked so very tired. There were dark circles under her eyes, more pronounced because of her pale color. Every feature on her face seemed more pronounced, sharper, seeming more fairy-like than human. The skin looked almost stretched tight against her alabaster skin. Her inky black hair was at least shoulder length now, windblown. She was covered in a light sheen of sweat. And despite it all, she was beautiful.

She was silent for the longest moment, her thudding heart the only sound in the room. Then, very slowly, her chapped lips turned upwards in a feeble smile. "You came back for me. I knew you would come back." And then she said the strangest thing. "I forgive you." Her words were very faint, and she was barely done speaking them when her head collapsed back on the couch. I panicked for a moment, feeling her pulse at the wrist uselessly. It was there, but so weak. She must have passed out from the shock.

I had been planning to at least tell her, but it was impossible now. Besides... a part of me felt like she had already known. There was no time to question. I could not afford to wait, because every second that passed risked the tracker finding our trail back here. With a deep breath, I steeled every muscle in my body for what I was about to do.

Leaning over her still body, I took in her human appearance for one last time. Her slight frame, her dark hair, her pixie features, beautiful even in unconsciousness. I sighed, then bent down over her.

Very carefully, I first pressed my lips gently to her forehead. She was so warm, feverish. I pressed my lips once to the very tip of her nose, and then – ever so lightly – against her lips. Then, before I could have a chance to regret it, I swept aside her hair, inhaling the sweet concentrated scent of her throat - just once - before sinking my teeth into her skin.

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**author's note: This is kind of late because I've been caught up in midterms x4 and an english paper, ugh. But here it is. One more Allegri chapter... excited and sad all at once. But it is time I get back to Alice, huh? Read, review, make my happy :)**


	16. Goodbye

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters. Except Allegri, who is tragically done :'(**

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****Chapter 16: Goodbye**

Watching Alice suffer was easily the most difficult thing I have ever done. Difficult because I knew the pain she was going through. Difficult because I couldn't even let her scream or writhe, but had to keep her quiet, bruising her in the process. Difficult because she had done nothing to deserve this.

Difficult because I was the cause of her pain.

I saw now, more plainly than ever, how much she had suffered in those damned basements at Milledgeville. Her physical weakness when I had first bitten her was testament to that. But her suffering now was a million times worse. The flash burn, the unrelenting pain, and the feeling of your flesh searing and turning into cinders from the inside out… it wasn't something you ever forgot, even centuries after transforming. I knew she was going through her own personal hell, and there was nothing I could do about it.

The second I had sunk my teeth into her flesh, the warm liquid had flowed easily into my mouth. It was unbelievably delicious, better than I had ever had. It was so sweet, so delectable. It was so _Alice_. But even as I savored her blood, I could physically taste her weakness, and that made it easier to pull away. My body instinctively sought after strong blood, not something as weak as hers. I only bit her long enough to inject a good amount of venom, then forced myself away. I lightly brushed my tongue over the wound, sealing the venom inside, and then sunk into the darkest corner of the room to watch.

My initial plan had been to inject venom in other key junctures, as I had learned to do from some vampires back in Europe. The more venom one got in, the faster the transformation. Unfortunately, I didn't trust myself to bite her again… I wasn't sure I would be able to pull away. So instead I settled for watching her in the darkness of my old study, watching her fingers and toes curl up as the venom spread throughout her blood, leaving pain in its wake.

It wasn't until she arched her back and let out a blood-curdling shriek that I rushed in an instant to her side, clamping my mouth over her hand and trying to ease her body down. I couldn't risk someone hearing her, especially the tracker. As much as it hurt both of us, I held her down the next few hours, leaving purple and black bruises in my anxiety. Somehow, I don't think she noticed them.

It was morning when she finally settled down, curling in on herself in fetal position. Her eyes were clenched shut, her body stiff and tense. I brushed away a few strands of hair from her face, feeling my undead heart break into two at the visible signs of pain on her face. I wanted to make this easier, even bear the pain for her, but there was no way. Eternity. I had to keep reminding myself that I would have eternity to make this all better. Happily ever after was two days away.

Or so I thought.

It was dusk later that same day when I heard very loud human noises outside. There were five of them, the man from the basements clearly in the lead. They eased up to my house, talking in hushed whispers.

"It's not possible, it couldn't have been him. He's been gone for over a year, why would he come back for that stupid girl?"

"Allegri was always a strange one. He was unnaturally drawn to her, remember? Maybe he's just been biding his time."

"Well, this place still looks pretty deserted. If it was him, he hasn't come here." I smirked. I had taken great care not to disturb the front of the house, and hide my only other secret opening. There was no way the humans would suspect anyone was inside. I placed my hand gently over Alice's mouth just in case.

They talked about meaningless nonsense for a few more minutes, and I could tell two of the men had been dispatched to inspect the perimeter. As I suspected, they came up empty. Some more whispers, and the human group went away. I breathed a sigh of relief, and then released Alice. The humans themselves weren't necessarily a threat, but I would hate to have to kill any of them to get cleanly away.

So far, they were pretty off the mark, from what I had heard. They suspected Alice had escaped of her own accord, although no one could offer any explanation as to how she had made it outside. One of the workers had remembered my name in connection to her, but many of the others suspected it was a false lead. No one had seen me in over a year, and even my original accuser had walked away doubting himself. This was good. I was mulling over the future possibilities for Alice and I – how I loved the sound of that – when I heard another, distinct noise outside.

It was faint, just the lightest noise, and impossible for human ears to hear. Very quiet steps in the deep brush, really just a shift in posture that had been too loud. I sat straight up from my position at Alice's side, feeling my muscles tense in response. I stayed silent, listening intently for another sound. It was then that I heard him.

"Come out and play, old boy," he sneered, sounding much too close to my home. I snarled involuntarily in response. How had he found me so quickly? I glanced at Alice, now covered in a new sheen of sweat. She was so obviously in pain, I didn't think I could bear to leave her side. But I had to, there was no other choice. Better I go out than he come in. Her heart thudded unevenly in response, and she clutched at herself a little tighter. In a move so fast no human eyes could catch it, I leaned down and placed a feather light kiss on her forehead.

With one last glance, I turned to exit the study. When I made my way outside I saw him, standing out clearly against the dark forest backdrop. Whereas last time I had been too preoccupied to notice, this time I took in his appearance in a single glance.

He wore an open dark brown vest, made of some sturdy material I didn't recognize in the distance. Matching pants that looked something like slacks, without shoes. His long dirty blond hair was tied back at the nape of his neck, and had the appearance of not being washed for some time. His was built heavily, even for a vampire, and I instinctively knew he would be stronger than me. His most striking feature, though, was the gleaming white teeth he flashed in a grin at me, leaning back against a tree with arms crossed.

"You're going to leave your beloved _Alice_? Tsk, tsk." He said her name in a mocking tone, shaking his head as if to reprimand me. I growled in response, tensing and shifting into a semi-crouch. "She's still human, isn't she? At least for the moment. I can hear her heart… but I can also hear how it's struggling. Decided to set a time limit for me? I guess I will have to get to her before her human time is up." His voice lowered into a silky threat, so low even I had to strain to hear it.

And then he was pouncing. I couldn't believe the speed of his movements – I had only encountered a handful of vampires who could move as fast. I barely managed to catch him mid-pounce, barreling into him with all of my strength. We fell together onto the forest floor fifty feet away, landing with a resounding crash. Then we both leaped nimbly to our feet, and it began.

We spent the night in a game of cat and mouse, and I ended up at the mouse more often than not. I had managed to push him back away from the house with pure strategy, but he was quickly figuring me out. He was faster, stronger, and accustomed to adapting to his surroundings. I quickly lost any advantage I had of knowing the town, and the longer we fought, the more he learned my moves.

The tracker and I clashed in the forests near the town, got caught up in the current of the river, even danced around the hospital, but he inevitably always pushed me closer to my home… to Alice. I kept my ears trained on her heart, but it was impossible to fight with my attention divided. Morning came, and we simply moved away from my human eyes. By that time I was straining my mind to come up with any sort of strategy I could recall to outmaneuver him. It was a two vampire war.

Night came again, and I knew I only had to hold out one more day. One more day, and then my beloved, my angel would no longer be prey. She would a newborn, and certainly strong enough to kill this one that tracked her. I only hoped he would turn and run once he was up against two.

As the next day dawned, I could tell the tracker was getting anxious. His attacks on my defenses were getting stronger and more frequent, and it was taking every ounce of my cunning to stop his advances. He was getting too good at fighting me, and I lost ground with every attack. We had become two snarling beasts in the wilderness, fighting for the same human… and I was losing.

Dusk of the third day seemed to come slowly. I had all of my energy focused on outrunning the tracker, and it seemed to be working. He had picked up my trail and was following me intently towards deep forest. I knew his goal had changed sometime between last night and this evening. As the hours crept by, he had realized he would not be getting past my defenses. So now, it seemed, he was out to simply kill me first. What he did not know was that Alice's heartbeats were counted.

I ran until I reached a small line of hills, circling around to the other side, leaving Milledgeville behind me. It was almost time. I was just reaching the other side of the hills when I became intensely aware that the close steps behind me had faded away. I stopped short, listening intently, tasting the air for his scent. It hit me abruptly, a few steps behind me. I turned sharply, sinking down into an animalistic crouch with my back to the hills. He had outmaneuvered me in my distraction, and there was no more running. My death looked me straight in the eyes, and flashed me a grin.

As the hunter approached me, bared teeth glistening in the moonlight, I became acutely aware of the slowing _thump_, _thump_, _thump_ behind me. I was about to die, but that didn't matter. I had saved her. My angel was at least a mile away, but her last human heartbeats thundered in my ears.

_Thump. Thump._

…_ thump._

Then silence.

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author's note: -sniffle- I couldn't bring myself to do a big final battle scene... I don't want to say goodbye! That and I was already over my normal word count, so enjoy the slightly longer chapter ;) Anyway, this is the final chapter as Allegri, because now we move on to vampire Alice! I know, I know... you're all thinking - _finally_! If you are, I don't want to hear it :P Anyway, read, review, make me happy :)**


	17. Waking Up

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters. -sigh-  


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**Preface – Alice (Vampire)**

_I hugged the shadows, one primary thought overruling everything else – blood. The burning in my throat grew unbearably painful. A low growl rumbled in my chest, already savoring what was coming. A strange liquid gathered at the back of my throat, and I swallowed convulsively. What had Carlisle said? Something about blood…_

_I was at the edge of the nearest window within a second, hearing three distinct heartbeats. Three people full of pulsing blood. Three fountains of blood waiting for me to drain them. I swallowed again, feeling the liquid only worsen my parched throat. I knew it would be easy..._

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**Chapter 17: Waking Up**

The pain was indescribable. The burning, the inescapable, unending burning. I would take the basements a thousand times over this.

Not that they hadn't been bad. The basements, I mean. It was always kept dark, and the only men who talked to me where sneering individuals who relished watching others suffer. I lost track of time, forgot what the sun looked like. It became an endless cycle of hunger, pain, and loneliness. My spirit broke down a little, day by day. There was no way it could stand for so long. And even though I felt that there was something else waiting for me, it was hopeless. I had no hope of ever getting out alive. My memories started to slip in the darkness. I faintly recalled a younger girl, a mother, a future apart from this, but they were too far away. Everything was too far away in the shadows.

But all of that solitude and pain, I would take a thousand times over. It was better than this. I was burning at the stake, turning into ashes from the inside out. The pain started at my neck and had slowly spread all the way to my fingertips and toes. I had been unable to hold in the scream, but it was stopped. I couldn't bear to think of how or why, but I couldn't scream, couldn't desperately writhe in an effort to escape the pain. I was tied down too tight to the stake, and I was burning alive.

A small part of me knew that I had no other choice but to hold on. I had seen this. I had seen the mysterious, beautiful man saving me. I had seen his gorgeous golden eyes staring down into mine with immense guilt. But most importantly, I had seen myself with bright red eyes.

I didn't understand. And right now, I didn't really care. All I wanted was for the pain to go away.

The flash burn intensified, and I lost all track of time. I could feel my heart fighting the pain, trying to keep me alive. My heartbeats thundered in my eyes, fast, irregular, faltering at times. Sometime during its struggle, I lost the fight for consciousness. I could feel my mind slipping under, giving up control. And although my heart kept beating desperately, I was gone. I let the darkness consume me…

The next sound I was aware of was a sharp, metallic screeching sound, much too loud for my ears. I leapt up frightened, shifting immediately into a crouch on the far side of the room. The noise continued, overwhelming my senses. I covered my ears with my hands, unable to stop the shriek that followed. It was too much!

No matter what I did, the noise did not fade; instead, it only got worse. It was broken up by screams of pain, and that was what caused me to stop my own shrieking. I curled up into a small ball, hands clasped my ears and lips clamped shut. My instincts were telling me to run from this potential threat, telling me that something dangerous was out there, but I ignored it. I started rocking fiercely. All I wanted was for those metallic sounds to go away!

Eventually they did. And I knew with eerie certainty that less than a minute had passed since the first moment of my waking. And a great majority of that minute I had spent curled up in a ball. It was then that I saw. Really _saw._

The world was perfectly clear, outlined in amazing detail. Every grain of wood in the room I was in, every little piece of dust floating on the wind, each of the eight colors… everything was crystal clear. The sounds were everywhere too. Besides the sound of the wood creaking under me I could hear the birds shifting outside, the buzz of insects, and even a faraway murmur of water. And I could only assume that was how it was supposed to be. The realization of this hit me like a blow to the chest.

Alice. My name was Alice. That much I knew. But what else? As I stood up I reached vainly into the recesses of my mind for a memory, for something to hold on to. Nothing.

And as I concentrated on seeking some piece of my unknown past, a glimmer of something came into my peripheral vision. At least, that's what I _thought_ it was. I concentrated more on it, and suddenly the room around me faded into the background. With shocking clarity, I saw a beautiful blond man, covered in battle scars but with a shockingly peaceful face. The moment his features became clear I was overwhelmed with a tidal wave of pure, undiluted love, and the sheer power of the emotion made me stagger back a few steps and catch my breath. So much _love_. My concentration broke, and his face faded away, but the feeling remained. I didn't know how, or why, but I loved him. Well, that was another thing I could add to my grand list of things I knew about myself.

One, my name was Alice. Two, I was in love with a blond, peaceful, battle-scarred man. I frowned. Not much to go by. Hoping to see something else, I tried my best to concentrate. I saw the same glimmer as before in my peripheral vision, and focused in on it, hoping to see the man again.

Instead, I saw a very different blond man and another boy with him, with striking bronze-colored hair. They were running together, pale skin reflecting the moonlight. One had golden eyes to match his hair, while the other had bright red ones. I could see each of them clearly, although one was obviously more in control. The blond was distinctly more focused, and apparently in charge. And although they shared the same skin tone as the man in my first vision, these two seemed very different. But still beautiful. They were all beautiful.

I was watching the scene unfold before me, desperate to see what these two were running to, when an overwhelming scent filled my senses. The image in front of my eyes flickered away, and all of a sudden the rest of the room was in clear focus. I realized I had been standing straight in the middle of the room, and immediately disliked the position. I backed up against a wall, trying to figure out what the smell was coming from.

I didn't recognize it, but then again, I didn't expect to. It was somehow sweet, earthy, but dangerous all at once. I couldn't explain that last part. I didn't know what this was, or why it was near me, but I instinctively knew it would be dangerous. Without another thought, and less than one fourth of a second after I had first smelled the aroma, I was crashing through the wall closest to me. I was surprised at how effortless this was, but at the moment, I didn't care. My body was telling me to run from the danger, and that's what I did.

I ran as the ones I had seen in my… vision, because somehow I knew that they were like me. It wasn't because we shared the same pale skin, or the same ability to run, but because I couldn't shake the feeling that they were my family. The first one, too, although he was close in a very different way. We were all of the same breed. I ran like them, without knowing where I was going, or what I meant to do.

I needed to find one of the three I had seen. Preferably the first blond man. They had to be my family, my lover, the ones I had lost. I was sure that the visions had been of my past, memories that returned. The first man must have be so embedded in m subconscious even amnesia (was that what I had?) couldn't erase him. And I just knew I had somehow been running alongside the others that night, and was able to remember. It was the only way. I was sure I felt a shock go through me as I thought of meeting them all and potentially regaining my memories.

Running itself was a shock all its own. The feeling was exhilarating, mind-blowing. I did not pause to think about it, because it came naturally. And I thought this was they way it was supposed to be. I was able to nimbly pick my way through the forest at night, crossing boundaries when I came to them. Everything was effortless. At least, it was until I passed a small log cabin nestled at the edge of a strange lake.

I was running, focused on what I thought was my family, when it hit me. It washed over me like another tidal wave, dragging me under. It canceled out all other thoughts, and reminded me of the painful burning in my throat, which had suddenly grown a thousand times stronger. I stopped short in my run, clutching at my throat as a reflex. The scent, so sweet, so enticing, came from the cabin.

And like so many other things this night, I knew instinctively what it was.

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**author's note: Research papers. Conferences. Stuff. I'm sorry if I'm unable to update as often these next few weeks. But I'm trying! Everyone... say hello vampire Alice. Read, review, make me happy :)**


	18. Discoveries

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.

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**Chapter 18: Discoveries **

_I was running, focused on what I thought was my family, when it hit me. It washed over me like another tidal wave, dragging me under. It canceled out all other thoughts, and reminded me of the painful burning in my throat, which had suddenly grown a thousand times stronger. I stopped short in my run, clutching at my throat as a reflex. The scent, so sweet, so enticing, came from the cabin._

_And like so many other things this night, I knew instinctively what it was._

I gasped, gripping the tree at my side with so much force the thick, ancient branch snapped in two. The splinters did nothing to my skin, and a very faint part of my brain wondered why. But the larger, dominant part of me was fighting fiercely the urge to tear through the fragile wood of the cabin and sink my teeth into the first living thing I saw.

_Vampire._

The word hit me full force, temporarily distracting me from the overwhelming scent that lingered on everything close to me. I hadn't given much thought to exactly _what_ I was, just that I was fast and strong– these things I could observe directly. But this strong desire, the undeniable pull towards the pulsing hearts within the house told me something I couldn't outright see. The scent that was so powerful and alluring was blood. I couldn't explain how I knew it, or how I was still able to resist. The amazement of realizing what I was kept me momentarily distracted.

And then, through no concentration of my own, the present image shimmered away and I was seeing the blonde man and his apparently younger counterpart. They were not running now; they appeared to be arguing.

_"Carlisle, I can't! It's too much, I don't see how I can handle it!"_ He was silent for a while, and I wondered why the other man didn't answer. _"You're lying."_ The bronze-haired one tapped his head, a wry smile on his face. I noticed his eerie red eyes seemed less bright than before. _"It doesn't ever get easy, does it? Resisting human blood. I can see it – animal blood is never enough."_

My mind sifted through the knowledge as the vision began fading away, one part trying to hold on, one trying to decipher, one focused on keeping my physically still. For the first time I really noticed how I was capable of processing so many things at once. And there was still space left over to pick out details of my surroundings. Was this normal? Or was I particularly talented?

And what had the boy meant when he tapped his head? Why were the blond man's eyes gold? The other two I had seen, the one I loved and the boy, both had red eyes. I had a sudden curiosity to see my own. What color would my eyes be? The flood of questions brought on by my – memory? – again distracted me from the scent of blood. During this time I had also noted casually that I could stop breathing, and did so to prevent the scent from getting to me. So I could stop breathing, another thing to add to my list.

I tried to refocus back on the matter at hand, but my mind was swimming. The first detail that cemented into my mind was that the blond man didn't encourage drinking human blood. From the little part of the conversation I had heard, that was the problem between these two. So drinking human blood was wrong, drinking animal blood was right, and this all made life difficult. I filed away that tidbit of information in my mind. If I had belonged to that family at one time, I had probably lived like them. And apparently that meant not drinking human blood… as I processed this I carelessly inhaled and the mouthwatering scent again overpowered my senses.

And even though I made an attempt to rationalize and run away, my body instinctively stalked closer. I hugged the shadows, one primary thought overruling everything else – blood. The burning in my throat grew unbearably painful. A low growl rumbled in my chest, already savoring what was coming. A strange liquid gathered at the back of my throat, and I swallowed convulsively. What had Carlisle said? Something about blood…

I was at the edge of the nearest window within a second, hearing three distinct heartbeats. Three people full of pulsing blood. Three fountains of blood waiting for me to drain them. I swallowed again, feeling the liquid only worsen my parched throat. I knew it would be easy. It was impossible to deny that my body was built for this, designed to kill. Even now I felt my muscles coiled for action, tense as springs. The strength flowing through them was marvelous.

I was one lingering millisecond away from jumping through the window when the wind picked up slightly, and another scent blew in, mingling with the human one. It was the same odd earthy one I had picked up earlier, and it was close. Dangerously close.

This time the snarl that ripped through my throat was loud, and in less than a sixty-fourth of a second I was crouched low with my back to the house, scanning the forest around me. I had heard all three heartbeats within simultaneously speed up. A small voice called out anxiously. "Mommy, what was that?" The girl shifted uncomfortably, the little quiver in her voice clearly audible to me.

But that didn't matter. My attention was now elsewhere diverted, and the strong survival instinct was overpowering my desire to feed. This was the same one that had followed me from where I had woken up, and he was nearby. Even when the breeze died down, I could still smell him if I concentrated. A low throaty chuckle sounded to my left; I immediately swiveled in that direction, growling. I was about to launch myself in his direction when my vision swam, and for the smallest portion of a second, a very different image occupied my vision.

I was flying through the air… or a part of me was, anyway. In the momentary flash I saw, I could distinctly make out my lower body on the ground, very much separate from my upper body. The forest was torn down; several trees were destroyed and shattered around my two separate halves. And amidst it all, I saw a flash of a dark figure in my peripheral vision, running with head bowed down. The only clear part of him was the white teeth glinting in the moonlight, turned up in a smile.

The vision was only a flash, but I knew with dreadful certainty that it was a vision of the future. A piece of my mind filed that away for further investigation, while the active part forced my body to turn and run in the opposite direction. I could still feel the baser part of my body striving to fight, to eliminate this threat that certainly could not be stronger than me, but my mind won out. If I attacked him, I might not survive. And ultimately, survival was more important than any desire to fight.

This time I did not stop running. At first I ran in a zigzag direction, heading toward the sounds of water and other obstacles to my pursuer. His footsteps had sounded behind me for some time, but soon they faded away into the forest. As soon as I judged he wouldn't be following, I headed in what I knew had to be due west, moving my legs as quickly as I could. Whenever the breeze picked up I tried desperately to catch the scent of the threat, but it never reappeared.

I didn't slow until the forests and water sources were gone, until I reached a vast expanse of what could only be called desert. I stayed here, seeking refuge in an overhang of large rocks literally in the middle of nowhere. As I ran here, my mind had sifted through several details, and I mulled over the new items to my self-inventory list.

First, there were the two items I had listed in the beginning minutes of my existence. My name was Alice, and I was in love with the blond, battle-scarred man of my first vision. Now I contemplated the new additions. I was a vampire, and for reasons I would attend to later, did not want to drink human blood. Alright. I was also pale, strong, fast, and apparently glittered in the sun (something that had shocked me as I ran). I didn't need to breathe, and y muscles never got tired. And then there was of course the biggest and most confusing addition of all.

I had visions. I had assumed they were of the past, simply memories, but that may not have been completely right. The minute I had made the decision to attack my pursuer outside the cabin, I had seen myself being literally torn in two by a mysterious figure. And when I had decided to run, the vision would not return, even as I focused. But were the other images of the future too?

How could they have been, when I had been so familiar with those people… at least the first? There was no way I could feel so much love for creatures I had never met. Besides – and here was the question I feared most – if those weren't memories, then where _did_ I come from? How had I come into existence, and did I have any real family?

These questions eventually led to the most pressing one at the moment – blood. Even as I thought the word, my throat started burning again. There was nothing even remotely appealing out there. All I could smell was dirt, a variety of plant life, and very faint traces of what I assumed were animals. I groaned, curling in on myself.

If those two vampires, Carlisle and the other one, weren't my family, then was I obligated to follow their… diet? I wanted desperately to find something to sink my teeth into. Anything. I was so _thirsty_.

Animal blood. The other one, the boy, had mentioned animal blood. Was that what I was supposed to drink? It certainly didn't smell good. I could mentally compare the delicious scent in the cabin to the various animal scents around me, and it just wasn't good. Was there really anything wrong with drinking human blood? As if to answer my question, my vision started to shimmer. I grasped at this new vision, focusing to sustain it as long as possible.

_"Edward, please."_ The man I had learned to call Carlisle was holding on to Edward's arm. Edward sighed, closing his eyes and letting his shoulders slump. When he spoke his voice sounded resigned. _"I know… I know. But that doesn't make it easier."_

As I watched they exited the house they were in, running together in silence. I realized they were running at night, only because of the different shades of color. It wasn't long before they reached a narrow highway, following it to a series of low hills. They veered off the road and into the higher ground, where I heard again Edward's resigned voice. _"Let's hunt."_

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****author's note: Oh good grief, the new layout is driving me insane. It is definitely not nightdancers friendly. I hate double scroll bars with a passion!! -clears throat- Just thought I'd mention that. Anyway, here we go. I am honestly trying to update more often, but it's difficult to find time. Thanks very much to everyone who's following for being patient and whatnot. Read, review, and I'll give you chocolate!**


	19. Hunt

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Chapter 19: Hunt**

_The bronze-haired one tapped his head, a wry smile on his face. I noticed his eerie red eyes seemed less bright than before. "It doesn't ever get easy, does it? Resisting human blood. I can see it – animal blood is never enough…"_

_They veered off the road and into the higher ground, where I heard again Edward's resigned voice. "Let's hunt."_

This was the part I had been waiting anxiously for, and I tried to focus my vision. I was faintly aware of my physical body, my throat burning painfully hot. It was far away, and I pushed that distant awareness out of my mind. The images unfolding before me – past, future? – were much too interesting. Edward and Carlisle had finally reached the tip of the sparse forest, heading higher and far away from where any hikers would dare go. They had become silent as they needed towards the true wilderness, ceasing to talk or even make the faintest noise.

The change that came over them was distinctly perceptible. Immediately they both dropped into a lower posture, the younger one looking like a lion on the prowl. There was something about them that I couldn't quite place, something off. That is, until Carlisle lifted his face to the sky and took a long breath. He was tasting the air, I could sense it. And there was that something else – they were looking less and less human.

At no apparent signal they took off at a fast-paced run even higher up. I hadn't seen them communicate in any way, yet they moved together, synchronized. Edward obviously followed Carlisle, and I almost laughed at the petulant look on his face. The other was trained on the hunt though, and in a matter of seconds they were both pouncing on a pair of mountain lions. It was over almost instantly. The lions, obviously male and female, could do nothing against these beautiful nighttime hunters. I watched Carlisle carefully as he drained the animal of its blood, sinking his teeth elegantly into the animal's neck.

Edward was much more careless in his kill, batting the animal around a few times, letting it get a few swipes in. Just when he was looking bored he finally caught the animal up by the middle, sinking his teeth into the animal's hind leg. I was able to see the slight wrinkling of his nose, almost in disgust. In a matter of minutes they were both done. The level of experience, or perhaps care, was obvious. Carlisle remained intact and spotless; Edward's shirt was bloody and hung off him in tatters.

The young one looked at Carlisle silently for some time, then spoke as if answering an unspoken reprimand. "I know, I know… but can't I have a little fun? These animals are so…" I strained to catch what he said but at that precise moment the vision shimmered away, leaving me facing the evening sun disoriented.

I groaned out loud in frustration. I had been able to hold on to them longer, maybe because I was becoming more familiar with them. A part of me wanted to try and find these two again, but it was impossible to focus on anything other than the _thirst_. This raging, painful, all-consuming _thirst_! The sight of blood had only made things worse.

In a swift movement I was on my feet. I was quickly become accustomed to the grace and speed that seemed to be built into me. It felt so natural. I took a deep breath, trying to sniff the air like I had seen Carlisle do. As I concentrated on the sounds and scents around me, I realized how sharp my senses truly were.

I was able to pick out individual scents; there were at least a dozen unique plant and insect scents in my area, together with some mildly pleasant rodent scents just under the earth. There was, of course, the overwhelming smells of the earth, out of which I could pick out several minerals and components of the dust. If I concentrated I could distinctly feel miniature vibrations in the earth a few feet away, hear gnats buzzing several hundred feet away, and the small swaying of dry grass somewhere far away. The longer I concentrated, the clearer my surroundings became, until I could almost map out my surrounding area without using my eyes.

But there was no decent smelling blood. I wrinkled my nose at the only smells I was getting – small rodents. Another groan. I was desperately thirsty, but that much? A few more sniffs told me I might be able to stand finding something else. So I set off running.

I moved slower this time, taking care to retain my bearings. I was still running through mostly abandoned desert, stretching out for miles in every direction. Whenever I sensed signs of civilization I would change course; all the while seeking something to cure my insatiable thirst. Relief came sooner than I thought.

I jumped at the first scent I got stronger than a rodent, and ended up stumbling upon a rusty brown herd of deer. They were huddled around the only natural source of water I had stumbled upon yet, a nearly dry pond. The only detail I bothered to register was their unique black tips and long ears that did not hear me approach. And then I was pouncing.

The first animal in my path was a large doe. I landed squarely on her back, not bothering with any predator pretense. I was desperate enough that I didn't care about being clean or neat; I just wanted this creature's blood, and was thirsty enough not to care much for flavor. Within seconds I had drained the animal completely, but by that time the rest had scattered everywhere. It was effortless to catch up to a large buck next, and then two more does. I drank and drank their blood, but it wasn't until the fifth animal that I started feeling… sloshy. The taste hit me then, a sort of tart, sour taste. I was suddenly disgusted by it, leaving my last deer half drained. I easily snapped her neck to rid of her misery, then wandered back to the water hole where I had first found them.

I wanted first to clean myself up. I could see that the clothes I was wearing were blood stained, torn in some places from the buck's small antlers. Also… I was morbidly curious. I wanted to see what I looked like.

The image that greeted me in the water was a mess. Her short, black hair seemed to have a permanently windblown look, and was dirty from so many hours in the wilderness. Her eyes were a very eerie bright red, although it seemed like it was slightly lighter in the center. The face was curiously pixie-like, with a well-defined jawbone and small everything – small nose, small pointed chin, small yet somehow full lips. And dirty, with a smudge of blood on her cheek. I wiped it away, in awe of my own reflection. When I tilted my head to one side the girl did too, until she finally gave me a small smile.

But then she frowned. The clothes were a mess. I was wearing what appeared to be a white gown, stuffy around the neckline and reaching down to my calves. It was dirty and stained with blood and mud from the deer, torn across the middle of my abdomen. I could even see a small sliver of pale white skin, glittering faintly, peeking through. I would definitely have to find some new clothes.

And maybe better prey, because there was still a dull aching in the back of my throat. It wasn't so bad, and the uncomfortable full feeling I had made it easier to ignore… but it was still there. What was it that Edward had said? Animal blood would never be enough… I finally understood what he meant. It was not a pleasant realization.

Quietly I knelt down at the edge of the water, cleaning myself off as best as I could. As I did so I tried to focus on the two vampires I was getting to know, but even more so on the first one I had seen. But I couldn't seem to will the visions. When I figured I had done the best I could, I followed my own scent back to the rock overhang, settling in for the night.

Another question rose into my mind as I settled into my crook, unsure of where to go. Would I sleep? I hadn't been tired so far. I waited, but as night crept on I never felt tired. In fact, I was perfectly capable of sitting still, unmoving, for hours at a time. It was an odd feeling, but I took advantage of it. In the embracing arms of stone around me, I was able to bring up the first face I had seen much more clearly.

And as I focused on his battle-scarred skin and wavy blond hair, my vision began to shimmer away. I grasped onto the new vision with all my mental power, clutching at the image of this man in my mind.

I could see all of him now. He was tall, with a slender build. Still had well-defined muscles, that much I could see. Every visible part of his body was covered in crescent shaped scars, visible most in moonlight. His blond hair was wavy and short, framing his beautiful face. This time it was not calm, but determined. He was traveling somewhere; I could sense that from his movements. Across state lines, through cities… I wondered what he was searching for. Was he searching for anything at all? A small voice wondered, more quietly, whether he could possibly be looking for me. I wanted to believe so, because the strong feeling of love did not go away. From the minute I saw his face, I knew more certainly than ever that was in love with him.

I watched the mysterious man the whole night, until part of the next day. He hardly did anything different, except his location kept changing. I wanted him to run into someone, talk, reveal more about himself. Instead I saw his emotions written plainly across his face, changing from anger to sadness, joy to something I could only describe as desperation. And I kept wondering… what was he searching for?

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**author's note: I wanted to get this out today, and I managed, yay! I'm going to a grad forum this weekend, so I'll be solidly busy for who knows how long. Quick mentions, because I did say I would... virtual chocolates to Kari Twilight Mist, Stephanie, CopperColeus, and ChampionShoes! And of course virtual coffee for tanwellman! And thanks to everyone who normally reviews, reads, favorties, or in any way lets me know you like/follow this story. Its always nice to have incentives to keep writing. Anyway, I'm rambling and need sleep. Read, review, and all manner of fun things :)**


	20. New Dress

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Chapter 20: New Dress**

I lost track of time as I watched the beautiful blond man, the one I loved. The longer I watched him, the clearer he became, so that I was able to follow his travels quite easily. He liberally roamed the United States, drifting often towards dark areas that offered little in the way of identification. I had no idea where he actually was.

Not that it would have mattered much, I think. I still had no idea where _I_ was. I still seemed to remember basic geography – northern, southern, and western United States. But the details of those places remained foggy. A part of me assumed that it was because I had never actually seen them. The lack of clarity had to be one of the most annoying details of my mind.

Right after being unable to remember who I was, of course. My name was Alice, and that was pretty much all of the self-knowledge I had woken up with. No past, no present, and unless it was immediate danger, no definite future. The simple concept of it - of having no memory – was thoroughly depressing. My only consolation was that I had all the means to seek answers. As days idled by, I had started testing the boundaries of my physical abilities, and was pleased with what I found.

My strength was surprising. I had spent one day marveling at how easily I could shape stone, tracing designs in hard granite with the tip of my finger. If I closed my hand around a rock, it easily turned to dust. I had yet to find something I couldn't break. My speed, too, was amazing. There was little I could test this against, though. All that I knew was that I could outrun deer easily, as well as any other wild animal. I never felt tired, I never slept, and I could stay still for days. The surges of power through my muscles made me feel confident. How could anything stop me in the search for my family? The astonishing thing was I could apparently do even more.

I had learned a lot from Carlisle's lessons for Edward. I had gone nearly a week without being able to hone in on them, but one afternoon their discussion had suddenly overwhelmed my vision. Carlisle had been talking about the specifics of being a vampire, and it had been one of the few times I had heard him speak.

_"I'm sure you have realized how difficult it is to kill us… otherwise, we are immortal. I know you realize the great strength and speed you have, and that will last for a solid year. Your body is still reacting to the human blood in you, and that's also why your eyes are red, unlike my golden ones. The color change remains as long as you drink animal blood."_

_"And the minute my eyes change color you'll know I cheated."_ Edward's velvet voice had momentarily caught me off guard, because he wasn't in my direct line of vision. I struggled to regain my focus and try to expand, seeing him suddenly in the peripherals.

"_But I trust that you will not. You can see that Edward."_ There was silence. A small, detached part of my mind was wondering what Carlisle meant. The answer came shortly after.

_"Now, as to your ability to read minds… that is unique. I have only seen one other vampire with a similar ability, but his was not like yours. It may have been carried over from your human years. Were you particularly apt at understanding people?"_

The answer was lost to me as I snapped out of my vision. Already I was working on processing everything I heard. It was almost too much to take in at once, except for the fact that my brain had extreme processing power.

I had been human.

That was the fact that startled me most. Carlisle had implied in his talk that all vampires arose when humans were bitten and allowed to survive as the venom spread. The venom part I remembered very clearly – the memory of the fierce pain and burning were etched all too clear in my mind. But I had assumed that was how we somehow came into creation, or that it had been a sort of reawakening. This concept that I had originally been human… it shocked me.

If I had been human, did I have a family alive somewhere? Were they looking for me? Did they even miss me, or were they glad I was gone? The last one sent a pang of pain through me. There was so much to consider.

More than that, Edward's ability seemed like my own. I had finally realized why so many times they had one-sided conversations – Edward simply read Carlisle's mind. Why would Carlisle even bother talking if he could just think in a general direction? Of course, the much more pressing question was whether my own… talent was akin to Edward's.

I could see the future. I had taken that for a given when I saw myself being torn apart by my hunter, and it had happened a few times since then. Just a week ago I had been able to catch a glimpse of myself finding a large coyote if I veered thirty-four degrees south of my original plan, and it had worked out. Other small things, too. I had finally taken for granted that _all_ of my visions were of the future.

This all meant something very, very important. Carlisle, Edward, and the other blond man were not my past, as I had thought. They were my _future. _Something I could most definitely work towards, regardless of how mysterious my past was. This fact, together with my physical prowess, kept me out of depression long enough to hunt regularly and be careful with how I carried myself.

Hunting had not gotten any easier. The physical part of it wasn't demanding, but the more deer and coyote blood I drank, the worse it tasted. I started going longer and longer between hunting times, trying to refrain from fulfilling the thirst unless I absolutely had to. But it was so, so hard, because the thirst never went away. Whether I was idling days by sitting still under my rock overhang, watching Carlisle, Edward, or the other man, or just trying to pick out pieces of my immediate future, the thirst was always present.

I had to admit that seeing the future had its advantages. If any humans were going to potentially come close, I would see it soon enough to turn and run the other way. I couldn't go near them, that much I knew for a fact. If I considered staying my path, the visions would turn into animated versions of me killing the humans, ripping them apart, which would only make my thirst worse. So I stayed in one spot in the middle of the desert, waiting for when I might be able to get near them again.

Several months passed in this fashion. I would watch, hunt, and return to watching my visions. It was a waiting game, and I became an expert at the waiting part. It might have stayed like that for longer, except for one very big issue.

My clothes.

My ugly, dirty, torn, poor excuse for clothing. No matter how careful I tried to be, they were getting worse and worse by the week. The once white material now had dirt stains, grass stains, bloodstains, and every other type of stain imaginable. The gown was torn in several places now, leaving strips of my pale white skin showing. And in addition to all of that… it was ugly.

This was finally what forced me towards civilization. It had been several months, and I trusted myself a little more. Now at least my visions of nearby humans only consisted of the initial pounce, but I never saw myself draining them completely. That was a good sign.

So I ran towards the sounds and scents of small civilization fully intending to get some new clothes. The first place I ran into was a miniature town, with a few houses scattered around a makeshift town hall. There weren't very many people here, and their scents were mingled heavily with the smell of wood and steel. It was enough that I knew I wouldn't slip up. Hopefully.

I had spent all of the previous day trying to focus on the immediate future. At first all I got were little wisps of visions – a flash of color, the hushed mumblings of some humans, and the corners of a worn out cabin. But as the hours progressed, I had gotten better. That's now I knew now that there was a small cabin on the very outside rim of the town, where the woman would hang clothes out to dry… sometime today. I would have liked to trace down more exact details, but so much future searching gave me enormous headaches. Even now, my mind still felt exhausted as I neared the town.

I lingered several hundred feet away, keeping low to the ground. I was able to see the house I wanted, the one that had become familiar after so much searching yesterday. Apparently I was right on time. A young woman came out the makeshift door, singing some happy melody I didn't recognize. She had a large woven basked in her arms, full of different light-colored clothes. From the size I could tell that most of them were children's clothes, but the one at the very bottom would be a cream colored dress. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than what I had.

As she methodically hung up all the recently washed clothes to dry, I mentally steeled myself for what was going to happen. I would have to time it perfectly, so that the woman wasn't nearby when I dashed in and out. If I could haul myself out fast enough, I would be able to run away from her scent. Here was where several visions had played out in my mind's eye.

Either I got out fast enough, and boasted a new dress, or I would be running away with new bloodstains and brilliant red eyes. I wanted desperately to will the last vision away, but it remained all too clear in my mind. All I could do was hope for the best.

The woman finally finished and turned to go inside, still humming her little melody. I waited several more seconds, until I heard the distinct sound of another door opening; it had to be the front door. That was the farthest she would go, and my only chance. I set off at a dead run towards the cabin.

The overwhelming scent of human blood hit me like a tidal wave, washing over my senses as I approached. There were so many scents! Roses, cinnamon, pine, honey, oak! They all got unbearably strong as I neared the cabin, but I plowed forward, keeping the dress in my line of sight. I tried to focus on the other nonhuman smells – wood, steel – and fought down the predator instinct with all of my self-control. _I can do this, I can do this._

I bounded easily to the cabin, snatched the dress elegantly off the line, and was running in the opposite direction in less than two seconds. I pushed myself even harder as I ran away from the town, intent on clearing the scents from my mind. Instead I tried to memorize the scent of this new fabric, holding it to my sensitive nose as I ran.

It was some sturdy material I didn't recognize, and that was good – it just might last through my wild lifestyle. There was a light pink floral pattern I hadn't noticed from afar, set nicely on a cream-colored background. The design was decent, at least. It had short sleeves and a very simple fit, flowing smoothly all the way down. The neckline wasn't as stuffy as the gown I had on now, and that would be marvelous. All in all, my new dress was pretty nice.

I didn't stop running until I had reached the little dry pond I frequented. There was a perpetual small puddle of water at very bottom, but how it survived under the sun was beyond me. All I knew was that I could rely on this pond when I needed to wash, or just look at myself. The funny thing was that all of the animals had stopped coming here.

A quick glance around told me there wasn't any risk of anyone approaching, not that there ever was. In one fluid motion I took off my old gown and slipped on the new dress. It was definitely a loose fit, but I figured anything would be. It would have to do for now. I gazed at my reflection in the water, at the very pale, very thin girl showing off her new dress with a huge grin.

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**author's note: Phew! This is the longest chapter by far, although I think they've all been getting progressively longer. I haven't really planned out the time between Alice becoming a vampire and Alice meeting up with Jasper (which I believe spans several years), so if any of you have anything you want to see (before Jasper!) drop me a PM. Otherwise we're doing a very very long time jump, haha. For anyone who might possibly be wondering, my grad studies conference went great! I learned way more than I wanted to know about the graduate school process, but it was fantastic. Anyway, you see that big new button underneath the story, with "review?" Click it!! :)**


	21. Unexpected Friend

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters. **

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**Chapter 21: Unexpected Friend**

I let a good amount of time pass before attempting to approach humans again. Their scents were still unbearably strong and tantalizing, and I didn't think myself capable of living close to them for any amount of time.

So instead I wandered due north until I reached a vast expanse of forest, which provided me with more shelter from the elements. It was at the base of an enormous tree, in a small portion of hollowed out trunk, that I made my home. There wasn't much to it, but it would be enough for now. I continued hunting deer, elk, and some predators from time to time, and spent the rest of my days and nights probing the future for more information.

Months passed without any sort of new finding, but one day I found myself pleasantly surprised. My battle-scarred love had finally settled down in a large city, or, he would. I couldn't foresee the reasons why he had stopped, but I was morbidly curious as to whether he had finally found something, anything. I was shocked to see two vampires, one male and one female, approach him.

_"Jasper, my friend, it is good to have found you."_ The male said, extending his hand in greeting. The female stood silently by his side, smiling warmly.

_"It has been a while, hasn't it Peter?"_ His voice… I immediately loved his voice, just like I loved every other aspect of him.

They trio – mostly the men – talked for a while, but I could only catch bits and pieces from there on out. I snapped out of my vision to save myself the headache, going for a celebratory run. Jasper, his name was _Jasper_. I repeated it over and over again to myself, and the more times I said it, the more natural it sounded. By the time I had made it back to my tree, _Jasper and Alice_ was emblazoned in my mind. I couldn't help but laugh musically at the pure joy. This new, tiny little piece of information was like feeding a starving man – or giving good tasting blood to a vampire, in my case.

A few strides took me to the foot of the nearby bubbling creek, and I sat on a stump that overhung into the water. There was a grin on my face as I thought about Jasper, my one true mate. That much I could see, even though it was ridiculously blurry. We would meet, I knew we would. Sometimes I could hardly contain my excitement. It was hard to be patient, but I had to wait for the time to be right.

It was the same for Carlisle and Edward too, I couldn't forget that. They would be my – _our_ – family. The very thought made me giggle out loud. I must have sounded silly, but I had to hang out to my sanity however I could. It was these bursts of joy that helped me cope with the inherent loneliness. I knew things would get better, which made the present time tolerable.

And so I kept living my life of solitude for months upon months. Time passed relatively uneventfully in the forest. I could only tell the time by the change of the seasons, the apparent deadening of the trees in winter, and their rebirth and new life in spring. Lucky for me, it was easy to let time pass as a vampire. If needed, I could be still for days, immersed in my visions. Knowing the solitude would end kept me optimistic.

There was a nearby town nearby, right at the edge of the forest. I had taken care in the beginning to make my home in a part of the forest so dense no one would come too close, but I could easily travel to the town if I needed. I didn't like to, really, but sometimes it became necessary. At first I had only taken articles of clothing, once my old ones wore out, but eventually I moved on to needing certain other items. I tried to stick to basics – mostly soap, small pieces of fabric, once a handheld mirror. It was in one of these trips that I became careless.

"Hello sweetie," an elderly women's voice said, catching me in the middle of snooping around outside a small cabin. I froze instantly, tensing my muscles and immediately stopping my breathing. The human was intolerably close to me, and I moved as fast as I dared away from her, my natural instinct forbidding me from turning my back on her.

I hadn't initially smelled her because the wind blew away her scent; even now it blowing her hair behind her. Missing the sounds I could explain as well – when I got really absorbed in looking for something I rarely paid attention to my surroundings. But there was one giant loophole in this. I didn't bother paying attention, or tasting the air with care, because _I could see anyone coming_.

If my visions were unreliable in other details, they had become increasingly accurate in reference to myself. I was _always_ able to see humans approaching me, or any potential dangers, and I was good at avoiding them. So how had this human woman escaped my mental line of sight?

I processed these questions in less than half a second, not trusting myself to answer this woman. I stayed silent, backing up slowly. It occurred to me that I probably looked like an animal that had been caught pawing around in the kitchen. I tried to raise my crouched stance, acting more like their kind. No use in frightening this woman.

"It's okay dear, I won't hurt you. I've seen you around here before. Are you the one that takes my daughter's clothes?" Her voice wasn't accusatory, and that surprised me. I frantically searched my mind's eye for the outcome of this encounter, but I came up blank. All I could see was myself in the forest once again, pacing by the creek. I refocused on the present.

My voice sounded strange to my ears as I spoke, sounding like chiming bells. "I have to." How could I explain to this simple human that I couldn't do anything else, and had to resort to stealing to gain what I needed?

"Oh, it's quite alright. She's marrying, you know, just like my son. Getting all new things, so I suppose we won't need the old so much anymore. What's your name?" I must have visibly bristled at her personal question, because I saw her kind smile falter. I was wondering when she would get scared. From what I had seen of Jasper's travels, humans rarely responded well to our kind.

"Alice. My name… it's Alice."

"That's such a nice name. Do you… do you have any family Alice?"

I tore my eyes away from hers at the question. I was out of oxygen. I had used up all of my air in my last two responses, and to speak again I would have to breathe. Could I risk it? Again, my immediate future was empty. I decided to chance it. "No, I'm all alone."

The air scorched my throat, caused my mouth to be flooded with venom. I could taste this woman on the air, a faint floral fragrance that was still thankfully being carried away by the wind. My predator instinct threatened to overwhelm me, but I hung fast to the woman's kind smile. Still, I tensed again, bracing myself to run. If anything pushed this situation too far, I could only hope that I could force myself to run first, feed second.

"Why is that? You're such a pretty girl to be left all alone." Why was this woman so intent on speaking to me? What did she see in me, or more importantly – what _didn't_ she see. Why wasn't she afraid? Even the air around me must have been cold, my whole posture was torn between fight and flight, and I'm sure my skin was emitting a faint glow in the mildly overcast day. Something must have been wrong with her, that was it. That was why she also seemed to be the blind spot in visions.

I forced a lungful of air in, trying to become accustomed to the burning sensation. "I don't really… know why. But I have to leave. This is dangerous."

I was expecting her to dispute it, but instead she stared at me oddly for what seemed like an eternity. Her chocolate brown eyes bored into my golden ones, and I got the eerie feeling that she sensed something was off about my presence. I resisted the urge to run, maintaining my place until she diverted her gaze. There was a small smile on her face.

"I know you come by often, and I wanted to let you know that I don't mind. I don't understand how someone so young can be living alone, without any assistance, but I'd like to help you. If you ever need anything, I'll be living alone after my daughter leaves. Please take care, Alice."

And with that the elderly woman turned on one heel and went back inside her small cabin, closing the door soundly behind her. I completely forgot what I had come here for, instead taking off at a dead run in the opposite direction. I reached my home in a manner of minutes, but passed it and went straight to the creek to mull over my new encounter.

Unbeknownst to me, Marie Elizabeth Swan rocked back and forth slowly in her chair back home, a small, kind smile on her face.

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**author's note: Thanks to tanwellman for this idea ;) Don't have much to say, so read, review, let me know what you think :)**


	22. Confusion

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Chapter 22: Confusion**

No matter how long I contemplated my current situation, I could not comprehend it. I was hopelessly confused, for the umpteenth time of my life. I was confused because what I was experiencing and what I was _seeing_ were two very different things. I was confused because my visions were conflicting with each other, and I didn't know what to do.

I took extra care to not run into the old woman again, but I was invariably drawn to her. Not just her scent, but her kindness. Even though I hid from here, she kept leaving things out for me. A small stool appeared by her door the very next time I went back, covered with a gray piece fabric and decorated with a red hair ribbon. And every time after that, I always found some small gift or other. Once it was an old worn out hairbrush, the next time a small faded dress. She left small bits of food out there too, although after several weeks of not taking them, they stopped appearing.

At first I was torn, unsure of whether I should be accepting her help or not. But my developing conscience won out. This woman was giving me things, of her own will, and that eased my guilt over always stealing from different people. But my decision to take her help did not ease the confusion.

This human was kind. She did not run away from me, she did not shun me, and she did not expect anything in return. And based on what I had learned from Carlisle and Edward, this was something to work towards. Carlisle often said that if we could manage the thirst well enough, we could live in this sort of communion with the humans. In fact, I had been rather proud of the fact that I had achieved this so soon. But then I saw something very, very different.

It happened when I was watching Jasper. More specifically, I was watching Jasper _hunt_. I had been watching him carefully, and it was almost easier after I knew his name. I heard him murmur something to himself about being thirsty, and at once I expected him to run away from civilization and into the wilderness. Instead, he had run towards the nearest crowded park.

I was almost shocked out of my vision to see him stalking a human woman. She was young, and in the different colors of night I could make out her long blonde hair and petite figure. I cringed inwardly as I watched Jasper biding his time, waiting until she walked towards the road running alongside the park. He followed her so silently she never once showed knowledge of being followed. And when she was close enough to the edge, far enough away from other people, he pounced.

Jasper was a beautiful predator. I could see the hundreds of scars glinting in the moonlight, his perfect teeth bared as he sunk them into the woman's neck. His lithe figure was graceful in his attack, moving fluidly towards her, restraining her. So agile, so effortless. Her mouth opened in a silent scream, struggling helplessly against the Jasper's strong arms. I heard a loud gasp from my own mouth, together with heavy, almost fearful breathing. Curling in on myself, I clenched my eyes shut and forced away the vision. It didn't help, because the truth of what I saw was emblazoned in my mind's eye.

Jasper hunted humans.

It took me several minutes to get through the initial shock. Sorting through my confusion took much, much longer. I didn't understand how this man, the one I loved so intensely, could hunt humans. Everything I had learned thus far told me that it was wrong to hunt them, and I had assumed that those vampires in my future all thought this way. Carlisle and Edward certainly felt this way, albeit a little grudgingly on Edward's part. I knew that wouldn't change and I accepted it. But Jasper was my future too.

This brought into question the most important fact of all – who was I supposed to follow?

My visions were of no help. If I shifted into my predator mode and decided I would hunt animals that day, I could see small flashes of myself with golden eyes. If I thought, for the briefest moment that it would be acceptable to just take down one human… one small, insignificant human, my future eyes would be brilliant red. It was my choice, and this made it a thousand times more difficult. I could _choose_ to follow Carlisle's path. But I could also _choose_ to follow my future mate's path. And I was most definitely sure these two could not coexist.

And so my confusion mounted until I could no longer bear it. I wanted desperately to continue drinking animal blood, and animal blood only, but it wasn't so simple. My body yearned for human blood, and watching Jasper hunt did nothing to ease that thirst. My future started fluctuating between the two possible futures, until I lived with a constant headache. The more time that passed, the more I managed to convince myself that perhaps drinking human blood was how things were supposed to be. Perhaps Carlisle was going against nature, so much that it could not be done properly by anyone but him. It became easy to ignore his extensive talks about the matter with Edward. It became easy to believe that maybe, just maybe, Jasper was the one on the correct path.

It was in this state of mind that I found myself drifting to town one night. I couldn't explain why I was moving in that direction, or why. I just knew that I had to go, that something would happen tonight, which would finally secure my future course. I had, of course, tried to see what, but it was hopeless. So long as I was undecided, so was my future.

I came upon the elderly woman's house on the outskirts of the town, pausing a couple hundred feet away from her door. The wind was picking up, and I instinctively knew that it was cold to the humans. So cold, in fact, that it would start snowing around midnight. Hours passed as I hovered near the home, drifting closer and closer to the door. I could hear the sounds within very clearly; there was some shuffling of feet, the gentle creak of wood against wood, careful breathing and a slow-paced heartbeat. The woman was alone.

Eventually I heard the soft rustle of fabric, and heard a frail whooshing noise. In an instant the only light within was extinguished, and the house lay in darkness. She was going to sleep, and I still hadn't figured out what was going to happen. My desperation was growing – I could not bear to exist in this dietetic limbo for very long. Finally, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

The flash of a reflection passed before my mind's eye. Crimson eyes gazing back at me from the creek. For once, it didn't bother me.

It was effortless to open the door. The simple lock snapped easily under my fingers, and I let myself inside. A light shove forced the door closed behind me, keeping out the snow. I almost laughed. I was thinking of draining this woman of her blood and at the same time I was worried about letting the snow in.

No one was outside this night, and I knew from the heartbeats that only one woman lived here. I wasn't bothering to be particularly quiet, but it seemed inevitable. I ghosted gracefully through the house, overcome by the delicious scent that covered everything inside. But I didn't let the predator within me take control. Not yet.

When I reached the bedroom of the tiny cabin, I caught my breath. This was where the scent of human was strongest. The dull ache in my throat multiplied tremendously. And there, sitting on the very edge in a white wispy nightgown, was the elderly woman. She sat facing the door, as if she was expecting me. Her eyes were closed, and she took a very slow breath. I half expected her to open her eyes and bore through me again, but it seemed like she hadn't heard me. We were both motionless for what seemed like an eternity. My future remained red-eyed until I realized I at least owed her an apology.

_I'm sorry I'm going to kill you, but I really think it's only natural. You see, I'm a vampire, and we are designed to drink human blood. You smell rather delicious, and I'm choosing you because no one will really notice when you're gone – no other humans visit you, I can smell it. You're safer than anyone else in this town, and since I don't want to leave this place, it has to be you. _

Thinking those words brought an overwhelming wave of guilt. And then another, and another. I stumbled back at the sensation, and at the noise, the woman opened her eyes. She couldn't really see me in the darkness, but I could clearly see her. All of the details I had paid no attention to the first day swam in my vision. Her face was lined with shallow wrinkles, especially around her eyes. Her hair had wisps of gray, but not enough to be the dominant color. And she wasn't as frail as I originally thought. But what caught my attention most was her eyes.

Those beautiful brown eyes that had held my own even now. They somehow found mine in the darkness, and the next instant my future self was golden-eyed once more. I suddenly found my actions revolting. How had I been planning to drain this woman? This kind, compassionate, and currently very frightened human woman?

"Who's there?" she asked, her voice trembling. Her eyes still held mine, but I saw no recognition on her face. Finally, she moved to stand, taking one step closer to me.

This action was what shocked me out of my reverie. The house was too small, her proximity too close to comfortably tolerate her scent. I took a swift step back, putting more distance between us. Before I dashed towards the door, I was only able to quickly murmur two words. "I'm sorry."

For the second time I ran away, not stopping until I had reached my so-called home. A few more steps took me to the frozen creek, although I could still hear water just below the surface. Brushing aside some snow, I sat down on my favorite log by the water's edge. A careless flick of my finger cracked the ice, and soon the water bubbled to the surface. I could make out my golden-eyed reflection in the water, and settled in comfortably with the knowledge that it would stay that way for quite a while.

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**author's note: I'm terribly sorry that I haven't updated in over a week. My muse has temporarily left the building, which is why I honestly feel like this chapter isn't very good... but I need to post it regardless. For those of you who are wondering, this story will be coming to a close in the near future, although I'm not exactly sure how many more chapters. (Rest assured Jasper is on his way soon.) I also wanted to leave a small comment/explanation regarding some confusion as to the last chapter, and I assume this one.**

**I assure all of you that there is a method and reason to my madness. Everything that happens, every character that is introduced, has a well thought-out purpose. I know that there was some doubt as to introducing a Swan, both in reviews and some pms, but she is here for a reason. If you haven't seen it yet in this chapter, it will become clearer in the next. Anyway, I hate feeling like there are unanswered questions, so please - if you have any doubts, please ask me! I am always willing to try and explain my insanity. I'm also considering working on a sort of FAQ thing to add at the end of this story... mostly because I've got tons of thought processes that never explicitly make it to the chapters, but exist within them anyway. Let me know any opinions on this, please?  
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**Finally... I did go and see the Twilight movie Friday afternoon. In my opinion, it was _pretty_ good. I'm not going to say it was absolutely and utterly amazing - not true. I think there were things that could have been done better, and I really wanted to see more romance than action. But overall, I did enjoy it, and that's that. Sorry for this ridiculously long A/N. Um... press the green review button! :)  
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	23. Illness

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Chapter 23: Illness**

It was interesting how that one instant, that one moment of weakness cleared my mind of any insecurities. I began to listening to Carlisle again, and suddenly it all made sense.

Hearing him speak of compassion and realizing what it truly was were two very different things. Suddenly his words made much, much more sense. I could see what he meant when he spoke about humans being valuable creatures in their own right, not simply walking meals for us. I could see what he meant about their feelings and fears. I could understand his undisguised revulsion against drinking human blood, because I had gone through those same feelings. And I could understand his compassion towards them, because I had unwittingly experienced it with the elderly woman.

It had been so much more than simply meeting her eyes. It had been the knowledge that she seemed to care for me, that she watched out for me, and that she didn't ask any questions. I hadn't been able to drain her, because in that instant I realized I cared about this human woman too.

Weeks of confusion dissolved, and my future self was permanently gazing back at her golden eyes. Unfortunately, the same was not true for my other family.

While I had been overcome with my moral dilemma, several changes had overtaken my future family. Another had joined them, first of all, a female this time. By the time I caught sight of her she was past the red-eyed stage, but I knew she was a new vampire by what I heard spoken. She looked Carlisle's physical age, with long brunette locks and soft features. I knew instantly that Carlisle and her would share an incredible love. I also realized within the hour that she would be my surrogate mother, and I found myself loving her too. With her warm smiles and chiming voice, Esme immediately won a place in my dead heart.

The next change was rather abrupt, and for a second I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. Edward left. Edward became a beautiful, crimson-eyed predator.

Suddenly my visions were split in three different ways, three different windows into the future, all going on at once. In the first were Carlisle and Esme, deeply in love and always worried about their missing son. Their days were marred by ceaseless concern, which I shared. Edward was in the second window. He had faced the same moral dilemma that had conflicted me, but he had made the other choice. I saw only momentary flashes of him in different cities, always attacking the human predators, saving human victims. His eyes were a brilliant red, just like the ones of my mate. Jasper was in the third window, and his was by far the most consistent. He wandered through the same cities, predictably hunting and living his immortal existence.

And then there was me, existing in the present but immersed in the future. Time moved quickly as I watched, and I often snapped out of my visions only to hunt and check on the human woman, for she still eluded my visions.

I still didn't understand why I could never see her in my visions, but eventually I took this for granted. And although a part of me always wanted to know how or why, that curiosity was never sated. It was one of those things that could not be asked, because there was no one with the answers. I had a growing suspicion that perhaps Carlisle would know, but I was not meant to meet them in the near future. So I learned to live with my inability to see my human friend, accepted her as the one hole in my vision.

After that night of my almost-slip, I had visited the woman quite often. At first I would watch her from a distance, enjoying just being able to watch her go about her daily routines. It was always the same for her, increasingly so as she got older. Breakfast in the morning, daily household chores until noon. Then came lunch, and some daily activity that fluctuated between spending time with her new grandchildren and sewing. It was all so safe and predictable and… human. It was an existence that differed so acutely from my vampire family that I couldn't help but be intrigued.

After a year or so of watching her, I had finally started talking to her in the mornings, when her children weren't visiting. I was always careful to stay outside in the fresh air, and only visit on days when I was sure the sun wouldn't be making a surprise entrance. As time passed, I only grew closer and closer to her. To Marie, as I learned her name was. Soon, I was visiting at least once a week. I mostly asked her to talk about herself, taking it as an opportunity to learn more about human behavior. When we weren't doing that I was helping her with her chores, or trying to somehow make her life easier. Until the day came when I would meet my vampire family, this human woman gave my life meaning.

She had asked me once why my visits were suddenly more frequent, but it was easy enough to dodge the question. I remember I told her some lie about having to care for my family before, and she had believed me – it had actually set her at ease to think I had a present family. In her case, lies were always better than the truth. She didn't need to know I had almost killed her. But whether she suspected I had anything to do with her mysterious nighttime visitor, I would never know, because my friendship was cut drastically short.

It had hardly been three years since I had first started talking to Marie when she caught some human infection. I didn't really understand what was happening to her, but the disease just consumed her from the inside out.

I was with her the first morning she mentioned in passing that her chest hurt. This little comment surprised me, because she never complained. Other humans complained – her grandchildren often cried when they got hurt, her children would often claim to be in pain, but Marie never uttered a word. I wanted desperately to have Carlisle by me, to somehow be able to ask him how I could help my human friend, but it was impossible. After that first day, it only got worse.

The chest pain only got progressively worse, and although she never said I word, I would often catch her clutching her chest. Then she started having odd fluctuations in body temperature. One moment she would feel incredibly warm, then within the hour she would begin to throw on extra layers of clothes to fend off her chills. I tried to comfort her as best I could, but nothing worked. Eventually she stopped coming outside.

I gathered from the conversations I could catch outside her home that she had fought off this strange disease as long as she could. From then on out, either her son or daughter was always with her, and she never again came outside. As the days went by, I became aware of the stronger scent of blood around her home. It wasn't a very appetizing scent, though. I could detect that it was weak and almost _stale_. It was this knowledge that gave me the courage to go inside one night to visit my friend.

I waited until long after midnight, once her daughter had been asleep for several hours. It was effortless to sneak inside, and I managed to get all the way to the bedside without any incident. It certainly helped that I held my breath the entire time.

I was surprised to see the woman, pale white and thin, staring back at me. She gave me a weak smile with cracked lips, her eyes lighting up. I noticed her mouth working, but the words that came were incredibly faint. "Alice, you came."

It was at moments like these that I was glad I was vampire. I didn't need to fear catching her infection. I didn't have to strain to hear her words. And I wasn't able to upset her by crying. Instead, I gave her a smile of my own, coming just a little closer. "I've been watching."

"I knew you would be. I never told them, like you asked… but I knew you would be nearby." Marie reached out to me faintly, her movements clearly weaker. "But I'm quite alright."

I caught her hand in my own, dropping down to my knees by her bed. Her skin was fiery against mine, and I knew she had what the humans called a _fever. _It wasn't good for her. I only shook my head at her words, keeping my mouth tightly clamped shut. I knew that I would only be able to manage a few more words with my supply of oxygen, and I didn't desire to risk breathing. Outside I could handle her scent, but in this tightly enclosed space, it might be a different matter. At the same time, I knew I could not abandon her in this moment of weakness. Somehow, she saw me shaking my head.

"Oh, I'm fine…" she trailed off, and I could sense that she was trying to tighten her grip on my hand. The pressure was so faint that I was barely able to pick it up.

"Will you get better?" There went the last of my oxygen. But I had to ask, I just had to. Marie evaded my vision, and I just couldn't see whether she would make it through. Her children were so evasive when it came to discussing this, like there was some truth they did not want to admit. I was scared of this too, but I wanted to hear it from her first.

Marie closed her eyes for a moment, and her labored breathing grew even slower. After what seemed like an eternity, she slowly opened her eyes. "Perha-" her words were cut off by a raspy cough, and her hand immediately came up to her mouth. I opened my mouth to ask how I could help, taking in a fateful breath of air.

The scent of blood washed over me. It was surprisingly strong, and I realized with horror that it had to be fresh. When Marie pulled her hand away from her mouth, I cringed back. It was on her hand. Fresh, wet, drops of blood on her hand.

My first instinct was to let myself be overcome by the tantalizing scent of blood, to sink my teeth into her fragile throat and reach the source of blood. It was so close, so easy. But my second instinct was to give her whatever comfort I could, to be the human company she needed. My second instinct won.

I steeled myself, ignoring the painful searing of my throat, forcing back the venom that flooded my mouth. Marie needed me. I called upon all of the times I had seen Carlisle act as a human doctor, repeating over and over his words of compassion at lightning speeds in my mind. And I stood frozen by her bed, I convinced myself that this was the same weak blood I had smelled for weeks. It was diseased, fragile, insufficient. Somehow, I managed to convince myself.

Marie must have caught on to my flash of desperation, then inner struggle. "I'm sorry," she whispered, and I almost laughed. It was so typical of her to apologize.

"Please, don't worry Marie. Just get better." My words came out sounding like a plea, or supplication, and I gave her hand the lightest of squeezes. She gave me a faint nod and reclined her head to one side on the pillow. Whether it was from exhaustion or something else, she was asleep within minutes.

It was easier to stay by her side once I did not have to talk, or breathe. I lightly placed my hand on her forehead, feeling her blazing skin cool under my frigid touch. It felt good to think that I might be contributing to her comfort, and I stayed for several hours at the side of her bed. Quiet frankly, I was mesmerized with watching her sleep, too. It was something I rarely saw, and obviously something I could not remember experiencing.

By the time dawn broke I was gone from the house, meditating over my nighttime visit – much more positively this time. I had taken my usual seat by the creek, musing over when I would next visit Marie. With nothing else to do, I settled into my usual daily activity. It was during this customary check of the future that I caught sight of something else. There were Carlisle and Esme, a crimson-eyed Edward, Jasper, and… myself.

I saw a crystal clear image of myself in an unfamiliar city, surrounded by strange buildings. I was pacing back and forth alongside the street, apparently taking care to stay in the shadow of a small alleyway. The colors appeared to be those of late evening, although it was difficult to tell without a clear view of the sun. My face looked bright with anticipation, and I instinctively knew that I was anxiously waiting for something.

That was all of the information I managed to pick out before a horrific realization came over me. Something must have just happened to bring about this change of vision. Something changed that placed me in that city. Perhaps more importantly, something changed that had taken me away from _here_.

I suddenly knew with dreadful certainty what that was.

I took off at a dead run towards the small town, heading directly towards Marie's cottage. I was a half-mile away when I heard her son's words. They were intertwined with the rustling of the forest, the chirping of the birds, the cheery rustling of the rest of the town, but that did not make them any less dreadful.

"She's gone."

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**author's note: Again, this has taken me a week, and I am sorry I am not able to update sooner. It is my age-old excuse, but I have been busy - mainly on a Shakespeare paper. (Seven pages down, three to go!) Oh, and, you know... Thanksgiving, and family, and whatnot. (Hope all you US folk had a nice one too!) All that said, this chapter is a little longer than the others, in an attempt to make up for it. Kudos if you can figure out what illness Marie has, although I do hope I've made it obvious enough. I'll add in an interesting tidbit next a/n about it. That's about it. For all of you anxiously awaiting Jasper... he is coming very very soon, I promise. **

**Oh! One more comment. This story is almost at 100 reviews!! This makes me super excited, more than I care to admit. Help push it the remaining way, click that little green button under this and tell me what you think so far :)**


	24. More Running

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Chapter 24: More Running**

_"She's gone."_

If it had been able to, my heart would have stopped beating. My breath would have oddly quickened. I might have felt my blood run cold. I would probably be crying.

But as it was, all I could do was stop and freeze in the middle of the forest, becoming a grief stricken statue. For the first time in my existence my mind stopped processing my surroundings, but only for the briefest of milliseconds. In the next instant I felt like all of my senses were in overdrive. The sun was suddenly too bright, the birds were much too loud and cheery, even the ants were scuttling offbeat.

And then I heard a strange sound. It was a loud, heartbroken noise, echoing throughout the trees. It was horrible sound, sounding too much like a human sob. And the sound came from me.

It was then that I crumpled to the ground.

I'm not sure how long I stayed in the forest. I lost track of time. Once I closed my eyes, it didn't matter. I still felt the subtle changes of temperature that accompanied the passing days, the changing of light and dark that filtered through my eyelids. I was distantly aware of the leaves as they rotted beneath me, stifled from air and sun. I was still physically present in that forest, but there was nothing else. The smells and sounds, all of it melted away so that all I could hear were the heartbeats. Dozens of heartbeats.

At first it was difficult to hear them, but soon my ear became attuned only to them. From the smallest animal to the largest, all I heard were heartbeats. The light, fast beating one of the rabbits. The even lighter, faster ones of the small birds. The steady ones of the deer herds. The slow, rhythmic ones of sleeping creatures. I was even capable of picking up the human heartbeats, a half mile away in the town. There was a convergence of them some time after Marie's… passing, and I assumed people had arrived to say a final goodbye. She must have been very loved, because there were a lot of them. So many different heartbeats, and yet the one I longed to hear again was gone.

I'm not sure how long I stayed in the forest. But eventually the grief began to ebb away.

At first I held on to it fiercely, because it felt like to feel less pain was to lessen Marie's memory. Soon it became harder to hold on to that pain though, because of three reasons. The first was that a part of me knew, and had always known, that this day would come. It wasn't something I had ever foreseen, but it was what was natural. All humans died, that was simply how it had to work. Marie had been aging since I met her, and it had only been a matter of time before something carried her away.

The second reason was that anger replaced grief. Somewhere amidst my grief I realized with anger that the humans were the normal ones, and we were _abnormal_. We, the vampires, were anomalies because we never aged, never changed, never died. Marie had done nothing wrong. I wasn't sure why I was angry at these ideas, though. I thought I had accepted my immortal existence years ago. But with this human's mortality knocking on my door, I realized that I was upset. For the first time, I was angry that I was immortal, and found myself wishing to be normal. Human.

But this desire was very brief, because the third reason flooded my mind much more effectively than the other two. My future began calling me.

I can't explain it, to be honest. All I know is that I felt a tug pulling me away from here. It felt like my attachment to this place was gone with Marie, and now I needed to continue my search. There were much stronger attachments to be found: Carlisle, Esme, Edward… Jasper. I needed to continue seeking my future, because those vampires were still that – my _future_.

It was this calling that made me stand again, and eventually meander my way back to my makeshift home. Over the course of the years I had carved out a decent roof from the base of the tree, able to engineer it so that the entire trunk was hollow but it would never crash down on me. I peeked in, giving my little pile of clothes a long, quiet stare. They were all folded neatly on a stone table I had designed from a large boulder, covered in dust. I realized with dread that I must have been gone for over a month. Time passed so effortlessly for us…

For the last time, I made my way over to my favorite log by the creek, sitting on the edge again. I spent some time in intense concentration, trying to gauge where I needed to go. Well, more specifically, I was trying to see more details in that city, where I would apparently be excited to be. Slowly, the details started to become more concrete, and I only felt the intense longing increase. This would be soon. Several hours and a massive headache, I stood and began to gather my things.

I strapped a change of clothes to my back, as well as a few of Marie's mementos. The rest I destroyed or buried, leaving no trace of my time here. I couldn't explain why, but I didn't want anyone to know about this time. About how close I had become to the human. How much I would miss this place.

With one last sigh, I faced east, and began running.

And running, and running, and running. At first I ran with purpose. Toward a destination. But even I can't deny that by the end of the next day I was running for the pure joy of speed. I had never been one to indulge the limits of my strength, or at least it hadn't been necessary for survival. Now, since I was not restricted to any one place, I could treat myself to a little extravagance. I could run as fast as possible, flaunt my strength and endurance.

The first thing I did was hunt. I hadn't hunted in a very long time, and I realized that my eyes had turned pitch black, with dark shadows under them. As soon as I became aware of it, the thirst was overwhelming. Instead of heading for my traditional prey, though, I found myself tracking down an enormous mountain lion. He was strong, fast, and incredibly fun to toy with. His blood was mildly tangy, but more importantly, it was warm, wet, filling. Two more small predators and several deer, I finally felt my thirst satiated. With the physical needs out of the way, I was able to concentrate much more easily on what was to come.

I nearly leapt fifty feet straight up with pure joy when I saw a vision of a repentant Edward returning to Carlisle and Esme. I couldn't begin to describe the joy of knowing that my future brother would be there when I found them. My future, mind-reading brother, which I hoped would somehow complement my own mental abilities. Soon after, a gorgeous blonde joined them, and close on her heels, a big, brawny male. Rosalie and Emmett. My family grew and grew, even though they didn't know that they were family yet. I would deal with that later issue, in its own time. What really mattered was already before me. Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett. Alice and Jasper. It was perfect.

I didn't stop running until I reached my destination. Philadelphia. Though I didn't really want to, I broke into a small house on the outskirts to freshen up. After all, I needed to look my best for what was coming. After quickly washing and changing into my other set of clothes, I gave myself one last look in the mirror.

My hair had never grown, but I had long ago accepted that as an unfortunate part of never changing. I had managed to smooth it down well enough, so that it looked sleek and shiny and still as dark as ever. My eyes were brilliant gold because of my recent hunt, and the dark shadows under them were hardly visible. But the most prominent feature that morning – it was dawn when I arrived – was the excitement so clearly painted on my face. My eyes were dancing and if I really wanted to I could almost pretend there was color in my cheeks. I was full of enthusiasm, joy, anticipation.

I would finally be meeting him.

Taking a deep and unnecessary breath, I made my way to the cramped alleyway besides a small diner. I had seen the outline of the front sign clearly in my vision, and right on cue the sky was darkening. There would be a storm this afternoon.

Right before the first drops started to fall I stepped into the diner, taking a solitary seat the end of the counter. When the waitress asked me if I'd like anything I politely declined, informing her I was waiting for someone. At that moment I was grateful I had been around Marie so long – the smell of human blood, mixed with food and other materials was tolerable. Not only that, but I could talk to them comfortably… or at least appearing to be comfortable.

My musings abruptly ended as I heard the first drops starting to fall outside. The rain quickly picked up speed, and soon enough the wind picked up and made the whole thing a storm. I sat with my golden eyes trained on the door, feeling my chest about to burst with love and expectations. He was coming.

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**author's note: I'm sorry, I had to. On the plus side, I bet you all really want to read the next chapter, no?**

**Virtual kudos (and cookies) to Wolf Jade and skeptiik for correctly guessing Marie's disease - she had tuberculosis. The few hints I dropped were saying the disease 'consumed' her (it was called consumption) and the fact that she was coughing blood. I actually chose this disease for a few reasons. First, the vaccine for it was not widely accepted until after WWII (which had yet to happen in my story). Second, blood... yeah, enough said, no?**

**And lastly, before the Industrial Revolution, TB was regarded as _vampirism_. I'll go more in-depth on my blog (pokes it), but you can also do a search. It was because it was contagious, caused sensitivity to light, pale skin, and loss of blood (which needed to be replenished). Nifty, eh?**

**I also wanted to say - Thanks for all the reviews! I, erm... am not quite sure who left the 100th review (sorry!), but everyone who reviewed is very awesome and deserves Jasper-shaped cookies. That's about it. Just press the little green button under this, and thanks for reading :)  
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	25. Jasper

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters. Also, in case it isn't obvious, the two lines of dialogue and situation in the diner are taken from Eclipse, page 301.**

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Chapter 25: Jasper**

_The rain quickly picked up speed, and soon enough the wind picked up and made the whole thing a storm. I sat with my golden eyes trained on the door, feeling my chest about to burst with love and expectations. He was coming._

A few minutes later, the door swung open. His scent hit me first, a wave of cinnamon and sweet berries and a faint hint of cedar. All of a sudden, I recognized I absolutely loved the smell of cinnamon and berries and cedar. It was delicious.

But I couldn't concentrate on that, because Jasper soon followed. For the first time, I realized how utterly inadequate my visions were.

The first thing I noticed were the dozens of crescent-shaped stars covering his face, neck, forearms. There were so many, but light enough against his skin that I was sure I was the only one in the diner aware of them. They gave his skin an unusual texture, and to any other vampire, would simply scream dangerous. As it was, I was only intrigued. He was tall and lean, with short honey blonde hair. I could see faint traces of a more muscular build underneath his button up shirt, but it was too loose to see much. His face drew my attention next. There was a certain softness to his expression, hidden behind his strained eyes and angular features. The softness, the gentleness, was hardly visible, but I was able to see it in him. I was able to see so much in him.

I effortlessly stood and was halfway across the diner before he had so much as taken two steps in, almost forgetting to act human. It was difficult when he was so close. The man that I had been waiting for, for so many decades – so close.

I processed his reactions as I closed the distance between us. He primarily looked confused, and I smiled in response. I could only hope his confusion would disappear once he realized how we had been created exactly for the other. How together we would be complete. I knew it, and I only needed to show him.

_"You've kept me waiting a long time," _I said, unable to stop the overjoyed smile that came to my lips. Now that we were physically close, right in front of the other, the intense longing and distant love I had felt from my visions only amplified.

He ducked his head, avoiding my eyes for a moment. _"I'm sorry, ma'am." _He kept his eyes trained on the ground for a few brief moments, but eventually met my golden eyes with his. They were dark, thirsty, but bottomless. Brimming with an unknown emotion, akin to my own. At that moment, everything seemed right in my world. As it should be.

I held out my hand to him, and without hesitation, he took it.

There were sparks, an almost invisible current that now flowed between us. It wasn't an enormous physical stream of energy, but rather a small, but constant, emotional one. One that I knew would never go away. His large hand easily covered my own, and he did so, enveloping my hand in his grasp. We paused for a few moments, and then without a single spoken word, simultaneously stepped outside.

Once we were on the street, rain pouring down our faces and bodies, Jasper turned to me and gave an inquisitive look. And I'm not sure how, but I knew what he was asking. He didn't inquire about me, or my purpose here, but merely where we should go. After a brief moment's thought, I indicated east with my eyes. He nodded, and for the first time, smiled at me.

It was the warmest smile, sweet, breathtaking. But I didn't have much more time to process it, because he pulled my hand closer so that I walked alongside him, and started due east. We walked at a moderate human pace throughout Philadelphia, and I'm sure any human watching might have thought we were insane for not running for shelter from the rain.

That hardly mattered. I didn't hurry because there was no rush. I was already physically close to Jasper, and emotionally more attached than I had ever been in my visions. There was an odd sense of relief that overtook my mind now that my hand was in his. The relief almost felt like carelessness, because so little mattered now. It felt like we could be anywhere, doing anything, but with my anchor it would be enjoyable. And a small part of my heart told me he felt the same way.

We didn't speak as we finally reached the last civilized portion of Philadelphia. Instead, we took off running like one fluid creature. Again, there was no hurry. We ran at a light speed, our hands always entwined tightly together. We reached the Pennsylvania border quickly, and kept running the short distance across New Jersey until we came to the Atlantic Ocean. It had long ago stopped raining and by the time we reached a large expanse of empty beach, we had air dried from the run.

Our jogging slowed to a walk again, until we reached a large natural rock overhanging several hundred feet from the ocean. We took shelter under here, only so as to not be interrupted. Once we were both safely out view, we faced each other. And instead of letting go of our one pair of joined hands, we joined our free hands.

Several long moments passed in silence this way, until Jasper took a tiny step closer. I matched his tiny step with mine, wondering what he would ask first. Finally, he broke the silence, his voice full of wonder. "Who are you?"

"My name is Alice. And like I said, I've been looking for you a very long time, Jasper." I addressed him by name at the end, and saw his eyes light up in further confusion. His grip tightened by a small degree.

"How do you know my name?" His eyes searched mine, as if seeking an unspoken answer.

Despite all of the times I had thought about how I would explain myself, nothing could have really prepared me for the lack of mental clarity when he was looking into my eyes. It was like my brain shut off for a moment, distracted by him. I waited a few beats, and then decided the best way to explain would just be to plough through. "I'm… I'm able to see the future. Ever since I woke up–" here I paused, but figured there would be time for explaining that part later. "– as _this_, as a vampire, I've been able to. Sometimes it's only flashes, but some things are extraordinarily clear." I gave him a shy smile, suddenly feeling very self-conscious of my ability. "You were always extraordinarily clear."

Even before I was done speaking, his forehead creased slightly in a frown. He took both of my hands in one of his, covering them in the center with both his own. "Why did you feel insecure just now?" he asked me in a quiet voice.

This time it was my turn to be confused. How had he known about my moment of self-consciousness, and later insecurity? I wondered briefly if I was truly that easy to read, when he shook his head. "Now you're confused. So… I assume you don't know about _my_ ability?"

Jasper had an ability? I processed this for a few moments. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. From the interactions I had seen in my visions, and particularly from how Jasper hunted as of late, he did seem to respond differently than normal vampires. He was always responsive to things I could not see, and always looked pained to hunt. I had always assumed it was because he was particularly sensitive, but apparently this was his own ability. And I had never thought about this because none of his companions had ever verbalized it. It suddenly made a surprising amount of sense.

When I didn't answer, he nodded briefly. "You said you can… see the future." He had paused, and I heard a trace of disbelief in his voice. "I can sense emotions. I feel… very strong ones emanating from you."

I was sure that had I been human, I would have blushed furiously. It occurred to me now that he was aware of the intense longing I felt for him, all of my love and excitement. My embarrassment only lasted for the briefest millisecond. I realized that I was _glad_ he could sense my emotions. There was no way I would be able to properly verbalize them. Similar to how words were failing me now. "I didn't know. I am only able to see your actions, what will be done and spoken. You never said anything."

"Well, in my defense, I know next to nothing about you." As he spoke he gave me a small smile, and the tension that had been building up between us was broken. My confusion and anxiety at lack of knowledge disappeared, and I felt very calm. Oddly peaceful.

"There's plenty of time to learn," I told him, then decided to experiment a little. I knew from what he had told me that he was able to sense my emotions, and I wondered if I could somehow affect them. It was then that I closed my eyes for a moment, and concentrated on what I wanted him to feel from me.

I focused on my hope for the future. I called on every vision I had ever had about him, and on the optimism that accompanied visions of Jasper. I thought about how we would someday be happily part of a large family, one that would accept us as their own. I thought about eternity together. I was filled with hope.

Then I shifted my focus and thoughts to the current still running between us where our hands were joined. Besides optimism, I zeroed in all of the love that overflowed then I thought of Jasper. I had had decades to let it develop and grow, so that now, in his presence, it was overwhelming. It felt more like a reunion than a meeting. When I opened my eyes to see his response, I noticed his eyes were absolutely shining.

"So much," he whispered. "How is it possible?" I could hear awe in his voice, but found myself unable to explain. He must have understood, though, because he didn't ask again, and he never would.

We stayed frozen in time for several long moments. Then I saw it happening in my mind's eye, even as his hand was barely breaking away from my own. My breath caught, and I felt a swirl of emotions: love, happiness, excitement, nervousness, anxiety.

His hand stopped midair, somewhere between my hands and my face. I saw a flash of intuition cross his features, but then his hand resumed moving until it rested lightly on my face. His thumb grazed my cheek lightly, and he gave me a heartbreaking smile. Shaking his head slightly, he muttered. "I'll never be able to surprise you, will I?"

Before I had a chance to answer he leaned down – a very long away – pausing a second inches from my face. I knew he would need no verbal answer, and instead let my emotions take hold. With a little contented sigh he closed the distance between us, pressing his lips to mine.

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**author's note: I am ridiculously nervous. I hope I did this justice. Let me know what you think! -pokes the green button below-**


	26. Harrisburg

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Chapter 26: Harrisburg**

As secluded as our little spot by the beach was, it seemed the rain had followed us all the way from Philadelphia. It started pouring in the middle of our kiss, our very first kiss, and in the beginning we didn't even notice. We were much too involved in one another.

I can't explain how sweet and chaste our kiss was, how flawlessly his lips molded to mine. His lips felt soft to the touch, almost heated against my own. Perfect synchronization. Midway through he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me to his level, an arrangement that suited our physical differences better. And we just kept on kissing. Not needing to breathe certainly had its advantages.

It wasn't until we were both soaked by the wind-blown rain that we broke apart, bodies visibly radiating excitement. This time he offered me his hand, and I took it, letting him lead. He automatically turned west, seeing as how there weren't many other directions to go. A small nod was the only confirmation he needed from me before he took off.

I might have had difficulty in keeping up with his long strides, except that what he gained in height I matched in sheer energy. We kept time together easily, leaving the rain behind us soon enough. Before long we had passed Philadelphia, keeping our route due west. I wasn't sure when Jasper was planning to stop, until he slowed his pace near the outskirts of a small town I didn't recognize.

I scanned the memories of my visions, trying to remember if I had ever seen this place before, but came up empty. Either this place was new to Jasper as well, or he passed through so rarely I had never seen it. By the time we reached the small city we were walking hand-in-hand at a normal pace, and it was late. The sun had just sunk below the horizon, and although our skins gave off a faint glow in the remaining evening light, it was nothing out of the ordinary. To anyone watching us from within the two-story buildings, we probably appeared like an ordinary couple walking through downtown on our way home.

But we weren't even _close_ to being an ordinary couple.

The most obvious thing that stood between us was our physical differences. Now that we were side by side, I realized just how tall Jasper was in comparison to me. I was relatively sure there was about two feet between his head and mine – or more importantly, his lips and mine. Besides that, we looked like complete opposites. His honey blonde hair contrasted sharply with my inky black tresses, and if you looked close enough, you would see our eyes were very different as well. His were dark with thirst, while mine retained their topaz color. But despite everything you could see on the outside, I knew that internally, we were a lot more alike.

I wasn't bothering to closely watch the future as we headed off the main street of Harrisburg towards a smaller road. This second road wasn't paved like its larger counterpart, and the longer we walked, the more apparent it was that we were heading into a poorer part of the city. The houses shrunk in size and exterior quality, while the distance between them greatly decreased. I was so absorbed in watching the new surroundings that I belatedly noticed that Jasper had stopped a few steps ago. When I turned to face him, he was looking at me with a curious look.

"Don't you already know where we're going?" he asked me, as if expecting an automatic answer. I closed my eyes, looking for some indication that would give me a hint, but all I could see were Jasper and I together – the background was fuzzy, unclear.

I shook my head, tilting my head a little to one side. I had seen flashes of several different places, but without concentrating, nothing was clear. "You haven't really decided yet, have you? And I obviously haven't, so who knows." I closed the distance between us, standing at his side, but with my body still oriented around him. "I just know that it's with you."

Jasper simply stared at me for several seconds, confusion and doubt clearly written across his features. As I had before, I tried to project my emotions, focusing only on those I wanted him to feel. This time it was the sense of security I felt with him, so much that I purposefully blocked out the future. I trusted my mate completely, even though I had only physically known him for the span of a few hours. It was easy enough, for me. After all, I had known him through my visions for decades.

Immediately the confusion on Jasper's face melted away, replaced with a look of longing. He took my hand again, and started walking with purpose towards a little cottage at the very end of the road, at least fifty feet from any other house. This one looked to be in better shape than the others, with faded blue windowsills and a soft yellow exterior. It was short and smaller than the others, but suddenly it seemed very familiar. I remembered a vision from years ago, but it took me a few moments to place exactly what was missing. "This is Charlotte's old home," I said, stating it rather than asking it.

Pieces of dialogue floated back into my memory, only as clear as the vision had been. Peter had been telling Jasper about Charlotte's history, as they all sat around the living room inside. All I had been able to gather was that Charlotte had lived in Harrisburg her whole life, visiting an aunt in the south every few years. It was on one of those trips that she had been attacked, turned, and introduced to Peter. What I remembered most clearly from that vision was how quiet Charlotte had been. As if it was a story she didn't want to relive.

Jasper turned back to face me as he forced open the door, not bothering with the lock. "How did you know?" His tone betrayed his curiosity, even though he tried to conceal it. He pulled me inside even as he waited for an answer, immediately closing the door and jamming it with a heavy brick just on the other side.

"I saw you, Peter, and Charlotte here, several years ago. It was that time he showed you this house." I looked around at liberty, matching the images around me with those in my mind. There was the old pair of chairs, covered in set of old sheets with a pink floral pattern. The fireplace was empty and covered by a large table pressed up right against it, both covered in a light layer of dust. Above it, on the mantle, were several old picture frames, all holding a different smiling face.

Midway through my visual exploration I felt Jasper come up behind me, ducking down and wrapping his arms loosely around my shoulders. "So did you hear the part about how I could use it whenever I needed it?" His whispers near my ear sent shivers down my back, and found myself needing to turn in his arms, until I was facing him.

"Something like that… To be honest, a lot of conversations are hard to hear. I mostly navigate by images. For example, I remember that the chairs were arranged differently last time, and that they're a dull brown underneath." I indicated towards the chairs with my eyes, and we moved as a unit towards them, sitting atop the sheets side by side. There was no need to sit, really – it was just as easy to stand, but this brought our eye levels closer together.

Jasper watched me curiously for a few short moments, taking one of my hands in his. "Can you tell me what's happening tonight?" His voice was quiet, almost impossible for a human to hear.

I knew the answer even before he finished asking the question, answering in his same quiet tones. "There are a dozen different futures for you and I. So many decisions to make." As I spoke I saw unclear flashes of different futures play through my mind's eye, ranging from staying here for days to us both leaving in different directions. The last one made my shiver, and I ignored it to focus on Jasper.

We both scooted together at the same moment, pulled together by some invisible force. "I'd like to know more about you." As he spoke he lifted his free hand, lightly running the back of it against my cheek. There was something slightly disconcerting about the movement, because as he did so I felt myself overcome with a strong longing for him, so much that I almost forgot what he had just said. The intensity of the emotion was not what threw me off, but rather that it had magnified the moment he touched me.

I closed my eyes to lock in the sensation, and without seeking it, saw a vision of myself trying to explain my golden eyes. Of course, he would want to know, but he probably too much of a gentlemen to ask. I opened and locked my eyes onto his, a small smile on my face. "You're wondering about my eyes, aren't you?"

I could tell Jasper was trying to hide his interest when he answered, but it proved difficult for him. "I've never seen someone with… golden eyes before."

As I watched his darkened eyes, I noticed the slightest hint of red in the very center, and suddenly the memory of all of my past confusion and distress flooded through me. For the first time I realized that this could be one of those potential reasons why we might leave and go separate ways. What if he didn't agree to live like I did? Would he hold on to his lifestyle more than me? I loved him more than anything, but it would definitely throw a kink in my future plans to join the Cullens.

It wasn't until I saw worry flash across his own features that I realized he must have been feeling aguish coming off of me in waves. And it wasn't until I felt a sudden wave of calm coming over me that I realized it couldn't have come from myself. This did a very effective job of distracting me.

"Are you doing that?" I asked, even though it seemed silly at first. Jasper had only told me that he could sense emotions, but I was starting to wonder if there was more to it than that.

He gave me a sheepish grin, ducking his head for a moment. "Yes, ma'am." After a few short moments had passed he lifted his eyes to mine again, and I could see an unspoken apology in them to match his spoken one. "I'm sorry I didn't immediately tell you, but sometimes it makes people wary around me. Peter likens it to a sense of insecurity, when you aren't sure whether your emotions are truly _your_ emotions. But I would never manipulate you… I just want you to be calm and happy. And on certain occasions, just to feel what I feel."

Of course. Even in the past hour I remembered the precise moments when I was aware my emotions felt strange. I grinned at Jasper. "I can accept that, as long as you never call me ma'am again. It makes me feel old somehow. And I'm certainly not old." I joked in a soft voice, but that was we needed to naturally break the tension.

His hands enveloped tightly around mine as he gently reminded me of our prior topic. "Agreed. Now… about your eyes?"

I decided on telling him directly, knowing that would work best. "Well, as you know, eye color is a reflection of diet. Our eyes are black when we are thirsty, and red when we hunt humans." I saw a flash of intuition cross his features, but he remained silent until I finished. "My eyes remain golden because I consume a different type of blood… animal blood, to be precise."

Jasper looked at me in a whole new way, confusion mixed with awe. I could also sense something else under his exterior, but couldn't quite place it, even when he spoke. "And that is sufficient?"

"Not _quite_." I sighed, remembering Edward's words so long ago, his lapse in moral judgment, his return. "It's very difficult, because the faint burning in the back of your throat never really goes away. The thirst is always there, sedated. But it allows us to live without harming humans."

He immediately caught on to my pronoun. "Us? Who else lives like this?"

"Our future family." I spoke the words in the quietest whisper, as if I didn't want to startle him. I knew that this would probably be the hardest truth to accept, even though to me it was already relatively set in the future. So many paths took us to the Cullens, I did not doubt we would be a part of their lives. The only variable was time.

Jasper's eyes widened in surprise, but it was only for a fraction of a second. He squeezed my hands for a moment and leaned further with interest, silently encouraging me to keep talking.

And so I did.

I told him everything I knew so far, starting from the future and moving backwards to our present. In whispers I told him about the parents of the family, Carlisle and Esme; how he was the epitome of compassion, and she the epitome of a loving mother. I told him about the future siblings closer to our ages, how they acted, what they liked to do. I dwelled on Edward, sharing my most secret hope that with him and Carlisle I would better understand the workings of my own mind. Most importantly, I told them about the golden-eyed diet, talking about it at length.

He wanted to know so much, and I answered every question. Eventually his questions led to my past.

I told him everything, from the moment of my waking up until my strong calling towards to find him. I told him the whole truth, but it was a biased truth. I didn't dwell on the loneliness of the first year, or the pain of losing Marie. Mostly I focused on my constant hope for the future, although that in itself was difficult to explain. I found myself talking for a long time about the inconsistency of some visions, and how the future never appeared to be set in stone. My discussion eventually led me back to the certainty of meeting him.

It was morning before we were done.

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**author's note: I survived my fall semester! -throws confetti in the air- Chapters will probably be coming more often, assuming they aren't as difficult to write as this one. Although I'm thinking we won't be going very far past 30 -sigh- **

**On a brighter note, wow. Almost 200 reviews. I mean... wow. I want to thank everyone that's been reviewing, reading them always makes my day a little brighter. I also wanted to extend a special thanks to Pamela Cullen, who took the time to leave a review on every single chapter over the course of the day - you get an extra-large Jasper-shaped cookie :)**

**All that said... you know you want to click that little green button. And thanks for reading.**


	27. Diet?

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Chapter 27: Diet?**

Eventually the sun started filtering in through the windows, bringing a new range of colors into the home. The blues and green tints of nighttime slowly transformed into the brighter reds and oranges of the daytime, bringing with them the warmth of morning. The sunlight would refract off of our skin from time to time, but that hardly drew our attention. In fact, there was very little that could even make me look away from Jasper as I spoke.

It was one thing to see a face in visions, and another to have it before you. The real thing was so much better.

It wasn't until we both heard the sounds of people starting their daily routines that we once again became aware of our surroundings. During the night it seemed like it had just been us, locked away in our bubble of solitude, but the humans brought with them other sounds. I could detect children whining about having to get up for school, and the rustle of beds being made and clothes being changed. A few men down the block were excitedly talking about some new "United Nations" before going their separate ways to work. The women were inside preparing breakfast or tidying up from the night before. There was water running and doors opening and the general racket that seemed to accompany humans everywhere they went.

I gave Jasper an inquisitive look, and he immediately answered my unspoken question. "No one comes here, so there is no worry about being bothered. After Charlotte mysteriously disappeared, her parents nearly went insane with grief. They only lived a few more years before dying here… the children all think it's haunted and the adults believe it to be bad luck to disturb the home that housed so much grief."

I was silent for a few moments after that, my thoughts briefly diverted elsewhere. He had said that her parents were filled with grief… were mine? Had my parents missed me? Did I have any brothers or sisters, other family? The questions I had pondered for many years swirled together in a complex cloud, only broken when Jasper touched me.

He inched slightly forward and reached up to lightly brush my cheek with his fingers. I immediately calmed, but I knew it wasn't because of his gift. I was quickly learning to differentiate between influenced emotions and natural ones, so to speak. And I knew that the calm that washed away my worries was a direct effect of his tender caress, wonderfully mingled with a lovely tingling sensation.

We hovered in the moment for a few more moments, before his hand dropped back to mine, where they had been all night. It felt like it would almost be painful to be separated now. I took a deep, unnecessary breath, to fill my senses with his scent more than anything. Then I spoke the question I had been anxious to hear answered all night long. "How do you feel… about my – our – diet?"

He seemed to think about it, and in the course of that short pause I searched the future for possibilities. I was overcome by a sense of relief when I realized that our different futures had been reduced, so that those remaining saw us permanently together.

His quiet voice broke through my happy musing. "I have struggled, for many years, with this diet of human blood. My gift makes hunting an enormous burden. You don't know what it's like Alice," he refused to meet my eyes as he spoke, keeping them focused on the floor. "To feel the human's fear and horror. To feel their pain when, in that brief moment before death, they worry about their spouses, or children. That brief moment when paralyzing terror consumes them. Every time a human dies because of me, I die with them. Except, I cannot die, so I must suffer through their pain, over and over again."

As he spoke, his voice brimming with emotion, I could feel my heart break for him. I wanted to comfort him, to ease his suffering, but found myself at a loss on how to go about it. This in turn brought about desperation, and it was then that he met my eyes with a half smile.

"Please don't suffer because of me." His voice was a whisper, a weak echo of his previous pain. "You have given me hope, in more ways than one. By your mere presence you radiate love and compassion, and not only that – you have presented me with a solution, have you not?"

I nodded, knowing that he meant this diet of animal blood. The lifestyle I so wanted him to follow. "Yes, I suppose so." I returned his smile with my own, doing my best to project confidence. "It might not be easy, but I'll be there to help you every step of the way."

His decision to accept the golden-eyed lifestyle had opened a new realm of futures, those of us hunting. And I already knew he would have difficulties, even before he spoke these aloud. "You must know I am not used to… self-control. Centuries of instant gratification make it very difficult. I have tried before, to abstain. I have always failed."

With a very light touch I reached up to trace the purplish bruises under his eye, lingering over a crescent shaped scar near his temple. "Because you were starving yourself, Jasper. It will be easier when you have something else to drink from. But perhaps it would be best to just try it." He raised an eyebrow at me, and I stood in a single fluid motion, offering him my hand. "Hunt with me."

There was only the briefest moment of hesitation before he once again took my hand and stood with me. We walked together to the nearest window, where we could see the still rising sun in the distance. The light pouring in bounced off in rays from our arms, and this time I found myself frowning. I was wearing dark pants and a turquoise women's blouse that left most of my arms exposed. Jasper's button up shirt covered most of his arms, but left a sliver of his chest visible at the top. I was frowning because there was no way either of us would be able to go outside in the sunny weather like this.

Jasper seemed to figure this out at the same time I did, because he glanced sideways at me with a wry smile. "We might have to stay inside for a while."

"But you're thirsty, aren't you?" I didn't need to ask to know. His eyes had turned completely black between yesterday and today, particularly with so much discussion of hunting. I desperately didn't want him to suffer pain because of me.

His expression softened, and his hand slipped away from mine. Without losing contact he had wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. "I can abstain a little while longer. Besides, I have no issue with being trapped here with you."

In an instant he had lifted me to his eye level, his features a mixture of love and longing. I hardly needed more encouragement…

After several hours of gentle kisses and tender caresses, combined with hushed conversation, the sun had finally departed from the sky. It was dusk when we left the house, simply jamming the door with a heavy brick as before. We left Harrisburg as quietly as we had entered it, but full of knowledge about each other. While I had told Jasper my entire history over the course of the night, he had told me his over the course of the day – when we weren't busy being enveloped in each other, of course.

We followed a leisurely path northwest for roughly an hour before turning and heading due west, following the setting sun. It wasn't much longer before we were in a dense forest. I realized belatedly that we were incredibly close to the forest where I had spent twenty long, lonely years. The same forest where I had slowly learned about humans through Marie, and where I had suffered grief-stricken for days. We were close, but I knew that we would not find the large hollowed tree that had been my home.

It was different, being there with Jasper. Brighter, cheerier, more welcoming. It was a change I welcomed.

When we were far enough from civilization I let go of all parts of me that acted human. Synchronized, Jasper and I sunk lower into our run, at the same time being highly aware of our surroundings. It wasn't long before the tart, slightly acidic scent of white-tailed deer hit me. He followed my lead as I changed course a few degrees south, following the scent that over the years had become slightly appealing to me, if only because my senses associated it with satiation.

The scent grew stronger as we ran to it, brought in by the wind blowing against our faces. With a short burst of speed Jasper began running besides me, and I caught a glimpse of revulsion on his face. I knew he would not enjoy this first meal, but it was the best I could do, as far as I had seen.

Within minutes we had closed in on the deer, instinctively separating when we reached the herd. The small herd was in a relatively wide clearing, and it was easy for Jasper and I to surround them. The creatures didn't hear us, settling in for the night as a group. I knew he would not strike before me, so I leapt into the clearing first. I effortlessly took out the first large buck in my path, skimming my teeth lightly across the back of his neck and releasing a large spurt of warm, flowing blood.

Jasper followed my attack, soaring into the clearing and landing on the buck immediately next to mine. Without sparing a second, he had snapped its neck, the animal collapsing underneath him. By that time the others had scattered, running in every direction with horrified eyes. The noise nearly faded away as I watched my mate, reluctance evident in his eyes. In silent demonstration, I lowered my teeth to the neck of my prey, sinking my teeth into its ruptured artery and letting the smooth texture of the blood rather than its taste seep into my senses.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him do the same, pausing a long moment before sinking his teeth into the neck of his buck. I saw the emotions flash clearly across his face as the blood flowed into his mouth – surprise, revulsion, and finally, a look I can only explain as resigned. His thirst must have overpowered his disgust, because when he was done with the first he sought another. And another.

I stopped after my first, as I had hunted a few days ago, but stayed to attentively watch him. By the fourth animal he was drinking slower, the look of revulsion back in his eyes. He abruptly let the animal fall before it was drained dry, tossing it to the side with disdain. He walked over to the base of the tree where I was perched, looking up at me for a moment. He climbed up to my branch, sitting besides me, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"That was…" he trailed off, doing little to hide his emotions from me.

It was impossible for me not to laugh lightly at his petulant expression, partly because I had already seen it in my visions. "Horrific? Disgusting? Revolting?" I smiled at his slight frown and nod, resting my head against his shoulder. "I promise it gets better."

He only nodded, giving me a little squeeze. "If you say so."

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**author's note: Happy Holidays!! -pokes the green button whilst wearing a Santa hat-**


	28. Its Time

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Chapter 28: It's Time**

With Jasper by my side, even my previous desire to find the Cullens receded until it was only a faint whisper in the back of my mind. We were immortal and in love, and quite frankly, it felt like this was all we needed. Time passed quickly, whether we were traveling across the northern expanse of the continent, or just idling time away in each other's arms. We traveled and hunted whenever and wherever we liked, with no restraints or boundaries. It was blissful, and at least for the moment, complete.

Not that we weren't without problems.

I always watched the future closely when we decided to hunt. Jasper was coping relatively well with this new diet of animal blood, and for that I was proud of him. I knew how hard it was, because he never bothered to hide his emotions from me. The taste still disgusted him, but he confided in me that it was a relief not to feel a surge of guilt when he was done hunting. The ability to stay well fed without suffering overwhelming emotional pain was enough to blunt the revulsion of animal blood. However, self-control was still a challenge when we were near humans.

Whenever I could I always directed us away from humans during the hunt. Jasper was improving around them, but the longer he went without their blood, the harder it was for him to abstain. Still, my visions were sometimes unclear, and I proved myself fallible.

The first time it occurred up in mountain range on the eastern side of the continent. I hadn't been able to see any humans approaching us, and it seemed that everything would go well. But midway through the hunt the wind had picked up and carried in the scent of fresh, human blood. All had been lost from there on out. Jasper had immediately turned towards the smell, honing in and going for the kill. The horrible predator in him emerged and there was no stopping him. I had forced myself to stay back, because I knew that if I went I would succumb as well. So I stayed behind, watching it out play out seconds before it actually happened in my mind's eye.

Things changed, and decisions changed. Jasper had come back to me almost an hour later, his eyes tainted with red and grief-stricken. I had expected him to accuse me, or be angry, but he had only wrapped his arms tightly around me. Later he told me about the two hunters he had come across, camping out in a distant clearing. When he had arrived there had been feelings of hatred and jealousy, and from what he gathered one had shot the other. This was the decision I had not foreseen.

I was much more careful after this first incident, often focusing more on watching him than my own hunting. He had slipped up only once after that, and two other times I had been close enough to physically restrain him. As the next couple of years passed by, he improved slowly but surely. Our hunting excursions became almost enjoyable, together with the other… aspects of our lives.

We certainly didn't spend _all_ of our time traveling and hunting. After the span of a few delightful months we had moved forward past chaste kisses, and our physical relationship kept evolving from there. It was just impossible to deny the tangible longing that accompanied our emotional feelings. We still progressed slowly, though, experiencing everything for the first time with each other. He was so sweet, so tender, and so incredibly gentle with me. Sometimes I felt like I had to remind him that despite my size, I was anything but breakable.

Eventually I lost track of time. During the two decades I had spent alone in the forest, I had kept count of the years passing by simply counting the seasons, but that was impossible now. While it was the dead of winter in some region, a few days travel would bring us to a sunny area. Soon I was so mixed up I stopped trying to keep track, because it didn't really matter to me.

For the first time since my waking, I started living in my present. I kept a watch on the future only when it might prove dangerous, but otherwise my thoughts were preoccupied with my mate. It wasn't very long before I forgot that I had once adamantly sought something else.

This didn't come back to me until Jasper took it upon himself to remind me. We were stretched out in the middle of a snow-covered prairie, in the middle of the night. The full moon was above us, and we lay side by side, our bodies tangled together. Snow had stopped falling hours ago, leaving a soft light layer for us. We weren't talking, as usual. There was no often no need to speak – because of Jasper's gift our communication was often much simpler through emotions.

This is why his quiet murmur midway through the night mildly surprised me, at least for a moment. "Alice?" I was reluctant to answer, because I knew where this would lead. He was going to bring up the Cullens, and feel tremendously guilty because of it. I felt guilty as well, but for completely different reasons.

"I know, Jasper." I sighed but didn't shift my gaze from the remarkably clear sky. The stars were twinkling, bright and cheery around the moon. The clouds had cleared out a while ago, giving us the perfect view. A soft noise besides me, and suddenly Jasper came into view. He had propped himself up on one elbow, his concerned face over mine.

He was smiling, a warm but timid smile. "You can't have forgotten." I met his eyes, filled with joy when I saw their golden depths reflecting love. "I remember the hope you felt when you spoke of them. It never felt like you meant to wait so long."

"Well, I've been somewhat distracted." We both laughed lightly at this, but returned to our serious conversation after a few moments. He was right, of course. I clearly remembered how I had let my hope for the future fill me when I spoke of the Cullens, of our future family. They were clear and firm in our future, the biggest security after I met my love. At first it had seemed our meeting was soon coming, but the more time I spent with Jasper, the farther away that future moved. I was so content with my mate that I slowly ignored the longing for my large family. And while I still loved them, I had reasoned with myself that we had an eternity to see them.

"Believe me, I adore spending my time with you, and you alone. There is nothing on this planet I would rather do. But… " He trailed off, but I knew clearly what he was implying. His guilt stemmed from the fact that he suspected I would be offended, accuse him of trying to end our time together, alone. I didn't need visions to know this about him.

And I was sure he didn't need his own ability to recognize my own guilt. I knew that I had forgotten about my family, momentarily ignored them while I enjoyed my bubble of bliss. He was reminding me so it would not get worse.

"But our future is with them, according to me, right?" I finished for him, pulling him down a little so I could snuggle up against him. This brought a small sigh and nod from his end, though he didn't say anything else. I continued myself, though I found it difficult to end this conversation the way it was supposed to end. "I haven't forgotten them. They are still solidly in our future… but I enjoy having you to myself, not having to share your time with anyone. It hasn't been that long, has it?"

At this Jasper shifted slightly so he could look me in the eye with a very amused expression. He searched my face for a moment before reaching up to stroke my cheek, chuckling to himself. "For all the time you spend looking at the future, you aren't very good about keeping up with the present are you?" I opened my mouth to protest, but he placed a finger over my mouth, silently asking to finish. When I nodded slightly, he returned to caressing my face, before placing a feather light kiss on the tip of my nose. "Miss Alice, we have been trekking up and down this continent together for approximately seven years… give or take a few months. And while I would love nothing more than to spend the next century doing the same, I was under the impression that you wanted to meet the Cullens before the next millennium."

My eyes widened, and I couldn't help but sit up and stare at him for a few moments. The whole situation was disconcerting, as I wasn't often caught by surprise. In terms of regular time, seven years was nothing for an immortal. But I had never meant to postpone the other side of my family so long. They needed us, and we needed them; there was no way around this.

Jasper sat up next to me, trying to decipher the tumultuous emotions coming from me. My mind was torn between seeking the Cullens in the future, my own guilt for pushing them to side, and my desire to stay with Jasper. Without concentration my visions weren't clear, however, and this in itself resulted in more frustration. Finally I felt a wave of calm come over me, accompanied by Jasper's comforting smile. "Calm down. We'll start searching for them tomorrow, if you'd like. And please don't feel guilty. Your happiness is important as well."

He took me into his arms then, immediately soothing my worry with his simple touch. I didn't answer him, instead switching to focus on the future. He recognized this and quieted as well, ready to assist me if need be.

I started focusing on the Cullens, my distant family that was no longer so distant. Even though I hadn't watched them this closely in a while, they were all exactly the same. Carlisle and Esme were the same loving parents, mediating between Edward and Rosalie as Emmett awkwardly tried to take her side. They were in a large, two-story mansion near a river. Melting snow covered the landscape in clumps, and the longer I watched, the more hints I got about the precise location.

But it wasn't until Edward spoke up that my plans became concrete. He was proposing to go hunting the next week, naming a specific region and town to avoid. This was perfect for us. I knew Edward, and had feared his ability would give us away before we could properly speak to them – him being gone would give us the perfect chance to approach unseen and unheard.

I was about to tell Jasper when he gave me one more crucial line. _"The school secretary won't care much if we're gone Friday, just have Carlisle call in for us the 18th. It's the middle of February, it won't be hard to convince them we're sick."_

I opened my eyes then, to see Jasper looking at me intently. I grinned at him, unable to resist giving him a quick kiss first. The winter sun was peeking over the horizon, bringing in the new day. "Time to go meet the family."

He returned my smile, standing with me in one fluid motion. In unspoken agreement, we started moving towards the future together.

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**author's note: I probably say this every other chapter, but I would like to extend a warm thank you to everyone that has been reviewing. I didn't get a chance to respond like I normally do, so here it is, hehe :) Cullens around the corner, so stay tuned!  
**


	29. Cullens I

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Chapter 29: Cullens I  
**

Jasper and I arrived in California on Valentine's Day, and lodged in a tiny motel right at the edge of Hat Creek, off the 89. Edward had unwittingly made our plans effortless to construct, and I would have to thank him when I saw him later this week.

From my last vision of them, I knew he and Emmett were to go hunting up in the Sierra Nevada range near Mount Shasta, staying clear of a tiny town they didn't even know the name of. It would be this Friday, the 19th of February, with Carlisle calling in to their high school on the 18th to excuse them. Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie would be home when we arrived, in their two-story home off the Sacramento River. It was almost too easy.

We had made our plans immediately. It had only taken a quick glimpse at the calendar to realize how wrong Jasper had been about our time together. He had guessed seven years; in reality, we had traveled together nine years, just a few months short of a decade. We had played match up with future calendars until we found out that the vision did indeed match up to our current year, 1954, and that we had less than a week to reach them. Packing up what little belongings we had, we had set off for California at a hurried run.

It took us a couple of days to reach Hat Creek, which was a quick run south of the Cullen home. Jasper had suggested that we avoid staying with humans, but it didn't take me long to convince him otherwise. I kindly reminded him that he would have to grow more comfortable around humans eventually, and that it would do us both good to have someplace to shower before meeting the Cullens. When he still wasn't very convinced, I pointedly reminded him that motels had beds, and that was all the motivation he needed.

Our five days at the hotel were spent either in bed or with Jasper silently staring at me as I paced up and down. A vampire's mind was really a curious thing. We were so easily distracted. Jasper had been my distraction before, so much that I had completely lost track of time. But now that he had reminded me of the Cullens, and now that we were so physically close, it was almost all I could think of. Almost.

The last morning I spent several energetic hours flitting around our tiny room, animatedly telling Jasper everything I ever knew about the Cullens. How Rosalie really loved automobiles, and looking at herself in the mirror. How Emmett bragged about being the strongest vampire alive, and how Edward would play away his frustrations on the old piano they owned. I told Jasper everything, and he listened with patience, attentiveness, and a bit of anxiety himself.

"Are you sure this will be possible? Seven of us, under one roof?" His quiet voice was laced with worry. I could understand why, considering his history. Jasper didn't exactly have a lot of good experiences with vampires.

Although I didn't have any experiences, period. The only vampires I had ever spent long amounts of time with were Jasper, and Peter and Charlotte on occasion. "There are five of them now, and they live peacefully. I'm sure the addition of two more, particularly you and I, won't upset the balance."

He shifted his gaze from the tiny window, and closed the small distance between us. "And if I slip up? You may accept my flaws, but will they?" I could immediately hear this concern was the root of his fears. A fear of not being accepted because of his past, because of his struggle with the lifestyle, a struggle that never fully went away.

"I will always stand by you. Forever. We'll deal with the rest as it comes." His arms wrapped completely around my waist then, and he lifted me up to his eye level. Our topaz eyes met briefly, for the shortest second, and then he was kissing me…

We were forced to wait until dusk to leave our motel. As much as it pained us we snuck out the window, leaving everything in perfect order behind us. The truth of the matter was that neither Jasper nor I had a dollar to our name, although I could see that that would change soon.

Jasper suggested a strategic approach to the Cullen home, so that they would not be able to catch our scent. He was sniffing the air and trying to map out the terrain as best he could when I shook my head. Taking his hand, I chose the most straightforward path and began to follow it, ultimately heading to where their combined scents were strongest.

I could sense my mate's unease as we neared the home, though the sounds of the river providing a calming background noise. I knew he wasn't used to approaching things head on, but I had to gently remind him that these vampires weren't our enemies – they were our family.

As we approached the small clearing in front of the house, I felt the subtle shift in environment. It was dusk and the colors were starting to change to those of night. Every animal nearby was oddly quiet or sleeping, and even the birds were silent. I squeezed Jasper's hand in hopes that he would feel reassured, but instead he abruptly changed positions. His movement was seamless and suddenly he was standing protectively in front of me, his body angled at the three vampires that now occupied the clearing with us.

Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie were standing before their house. Carlisle and Rosalie were upfront, and I could see a somewhat confused Esme behind them. Their stances were all different, indicative of their feelings. Rosalie was obviously confrontational, her body angled forward, ready to pounce if needed. Esme was hanging behind Carlisle, her hand resting lightly on his shoulder. They were both painfully quiet.

And then there was Carlisle. He had a careful expression, as if he didn't know quite what to make of us. Still, his whole posture was neutral, neither challenging nor friendly.

No one spoke. As the seconds ticked by I could almost feel the tension increasing, until it was a tangible being in the air, hanging over our shoulders. I briefly wondered why Jasper wasn't easing the strain of this meeting, but one look at him told me why. Jaw set, body poised, fists clenched – Jasper was in combat mode, ready to defend what he deemed was in danger. He had probably already forgotten that I specifically told him not to do that. His scars were frightening enough, and his stance was probably what was alerting the Cullens.

I waited as a few more seconds passed, but the silence was starting to bother me. It wasn't supposed to be this tense, and I was planning on fixing that. Without warning, I stepped out from behind Jasper. I could see surprise on Rosalie's face, like I had just appeared out of thin air. I heard Jasper call out my name in a strained whisper, his voice begging me to stay behind him. But I ignored all of that, skipping across the clearing until I was only a few feet away from the Cullens.

In their surprise, they didn't even move away. "Carlisle, I'm so glad to finally meet you in person! You have no idea how much you've helped me. Really, it's been wonderful." He stared at me, his confusion obvious, but I didn't pause. "Esme, you're simply lovely, just like your rose garden. I couldn't ask for a better mother. And Rosalie! Don't worry, I won't be intruding too much. In fact, you won't even know I'm around, unless you want to. It's really a shame Edward and Emmett aren't here as well, but they'll be back by tomorrow morning around dawn."

Three pairs of golden eyes stared at me like I was in the process of growing wings. And then, quite abruptly, the tension broke, and I felt Jasper's hand resting lightly on my shoulder. "Please forgive her. She doesn't understand the concept of _meeting_ people very well. I am Jasper, and this is Alice."

I could feel waves of calm coming from him, but they did nothing to ease my sudden excitement. I had a crystal clear vision of the future now, and it involved us moving in. This would work out perfectly. "Oh, shush, Jasper," I said in a quiet whisper, although I was aware they would all be able to hear. My words elicited a quiet chuckle from Esme, who stepped forward at the same time as Carlisle.

Carlisle spoke first. "Welcome to our home, Jasper, Alice." He looked at each of us as he spoke our names, smiling cautiously. His eyes eventually settled on me, however, his expression friendly. "You speak as if you know us, Alice. Have we… met before?"

His question sounded hesitant, disbelieving. I knew that wasn't really what he was asking, so I knew it was pointless to answer. "Oh, not really, but we can talk about it later. I'd like to know which room we can move in to." I gave the three Cullens a brilliant grin, ignoring Jasper's warning squeeze on my shoulder.

At the same moment Rosalie let out a quiet snarl, and Esme a returning smile. "Oh hush Rose," she chided in a soft, motherly voice. "Alice obviously knows more about this situation than we do, and it'll be nicer to discuss this inside, in a friendlier setting." She paused, and her smile faltered as she glanced dubiously at Jasper.

I understood her meaning immediately, and laughed merrily. "Oh, don't worry, he isn't a threat." There were two snarls this time, a louder one from Rosalie and a quieter one from Jasper. "No, really, I can guarantee there won't be a fight." That much I could see into the future. Rose would be the last to accept us, but come morning we would all be satisfied with the new arrangements.

Carlisle spoke this time, his words carefully diplomatic. "I'm sure you can empathize with our hesitation at this moment." I heard the faintest chuckle from Jasper, barely above a muted whisper. "However, I perceive that you are here peacefully, and I agree with Esme. You are welcome inside to discuss this further. If you'd like to stay with us for a while, we will do our best to accommodate you both."

I couldn't help but bounce in place, until Jasper gently stilled me. He must have been painfully aware of my excitement, as I was doing nothing to stop it. The wave of calm being sent in my direction might as well have been pure energy and nothing else. His quiet words clashed with mine.

"Thank you for your hospitality—"

"I _knew_ you would accept us—"

We both stopped at the same time, and I glanced back at him, our laughs mingling together in perfect harmony. Carlisle and Esme joined in on our laughter, although theirs was more careful. As a group we headed inside, the Cullen family – our family – letting us step in before them. I bounced ahead quickly, familiarizing myself with the home of my visions.

I was already looking around the living room, but I still heard Rosalie's voice outside, beautiful even in her disdain. "I don't care who she is, she isn't moving into _my_ room."

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**author's note: I had originally been planning to complete the scene in one chapter, but it proved much too long (especially with my time/place intro). So this is technically Part I of the Cullens, Part II will be coming soon. Stay tuned ;)  
**

**In other news, I'm incredibly excited because this story has been nominated for Best Side-Pairing, POV, T-Rated Story, and Pre-Twilight fic (as well as two sub categories, Best Change Scene and Best Cliffhanger Chapter). Check out my profile for the link, or check out the user 'The Twilight Awards.' There are a lot of _fantastic_ reads under nominations or previous contest winners, so make sure to go check them out!  
**


	30. Cullens II

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters.**

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**Chapter 30: Cullens II**

By the time the Cullens had come inside, I had already explored the whole first floor. It was exactly as I had seen it in my visions, minus a few details here and there they hadn't changed yet. The colors I recognized most easily; very light beige for the walls and pale colors for many of their decorations and furniture. The living room where we finally found ourselves was modestly furnished, arranged very elegantly.

No one bothered to sit, and so we all stood on one outer edge of the room, Jasper and I together, facing the rest of the family. I had initially thought that once inside my excitement would diminish, but it was only worse. I was thrilled that we would finally be moving in, that we would finally be complete. It was so delightful that I almost forgot we had to explain ourselves first.

I wasn't reminded of this until I realized there were three pairs of golden eyes resting on me, expecting some sort of explanation for my small invasion. "Oh! I suppose I should explain myself, shouldn't I?"

Esme chuckled, and I felt a reassuring squeeze from Jasper. Now that he was out of combat mode, so to speak, I knew he was doing nothing more than tasting the emotion in the air. He would be able to tell instantly how we were being received, whether with acceptance or caution. I could tell that Esme was already starting to like us. I had expected nothing less from this epitome of a loving mother.

"Yes, Alice, I'm sure we're all curious to know more about you." Carlisle spoke very kindly, indicating briefly with his hands to both Esme and Rosalie, who were standing slightly behind him. Now that we were inside, I could see his eyes lingering on my own for a split second.

I answered the question before he could ask it. "Yes, our eyes are like this because we follow your diet of animal blood. I've abstained since I came into existence, roughly four decades. Jasper here is more of a newcomer, but he's been doing a phenomenal job lately." I beamed at my mate, doing nothing to hide my joy at his accomplishments.

Jasper didn't look quite convinced though, simply giving me a small smile in return. His expression changed rather quickly, however. "You are confusing them, Alice," he said in a very quiet voice, though I knew everyone was able to hear him.

I saw a flash of intuition cross Carlisle's face, accompanied by a wider smile. Even Jasper looked at him surprised. "You are like Edward, are you not?" His question was directed at me, and though his voice was calm I could see amazement dancing in his eyes. "But it can't be that you share his ability, I have never seen another like his. And you spoke as if you already knew us…" Carlisle trailed off, and I could almost hear his mind shifting gears, tackling the puzzle before him.

Rosalie's voice surprised me by breaking the following silence. "Maybe they have been spying on us," she said, raising an eyebrow at the both of us and crossing her arms stubbornly. "It's the only way she could know about us like she does."

"Don't be silly Rose," Esme reprimanded, though she looked slightly confused as well. "What you are suggesting is preposterous."

I chimed in, receiving a glare from Rosalie as I did. "Esme is absolutely right, Rosalie. Believe us, we could never successfully spy on five vampires, particularly if one of them is a mind reader who could hear us a mile away. At least, not in the present."

It was Carlisle, silent all this time, who immediately understood the meaning of my last phrase. I could see his expression light up, realizing with admiration how brilliant he really was. "Not in the present? So you have been spying on us in another time?"

I felt a little tug from Jasper, whose eyes were fixed on Rose. Her expression looked absolutely murderous, and she was doing very little to hide it. I could see Esme restraining her with a hand on her arm, but it wasn't necessary. I didn't need a vision to tell me that she would never dare to attack. They outnumbered us, but Jasper screamed dangerous to any vampire who didn't know him. Besides, Carlisle would have the final word in this.

"Yes, Carlisle, I suppose that's a good way to phrase it. You see, I've been watching you and your family ever since I became a vampire. Not really spying, so to speak, because I can't control what parts of the future I see, but something to that effect."

The three of them – Carlisle, Rosalie, Esme – stared at me, golden eyes calculating the truth of my story. Jasper sighed audibly, but waited with me. I knew that if he had been given the chance, he might have manipulated their emotions, given them trust that didn't exist. He liked feeling more in control of a situation. But if there was one thing I had learned through the uncertainty of my visions, it was that control wasn't always the most important thing. Sometimes you just needed to let things happen.

"Why us?" Esme spoke first, taking a small step forward, towards us.

Seeking understanding would be the first step of our acceptance, so I answered willingly. "Because you are our family." I leaned slightly towards Jasper, and his arm automatically wrapped around my shoulders.

I was about to continue, but Rosalie stepped in next. "So, what? You see the future, is that what you're saying? Don't we have a choice?" She was the first to voice what the others had been thinking, though I expected nothing less. The disbelief was evident in her tone and expression.

With a casual shrug, I smiled at all three of them. "I wouldn't say that anymore. I have visions of what may happen, but my time with Jasper has taught me that it is all very subjective. The future changes based on your decisions. So yes, Rose, you do have a choice. If you aren't ready to accept us now, we can leave." I paused, and my smile turned into a brilliant grin. "But we'll just keep coming back, because believe me – we're meant to be a family. Sooner or later." I winked at Rose just then, receiving a subtle frown in return.

But that didn't matter much, because at that moment Carlisle stepped forward, a small smile on his face. "Well, we certainly wouldn't want to interfere with something that is meant to happen. Perhaps we can discuss this ability of yours in depth, and you can tell us what you've seen of our lives. Is that acceptable to you both?"

Jasper and I both accepted. The next few hours were spent in explanation. Had I not been a vampire it would have been impossible to sit still, but Jasper was amazing at helping me through it. I gave Carlisle and Esme a quick run down of my past (Rosalie gave us a dismissive glance and walked away to another room), telling them of my first visions and experiences. Carlisle was amazed at my ability, and it didn't take him long to discover that Jasper had one as well.

Midway through the night it seemed we had finally sated their desire for knowledge. By the end of it Esme had given me a warm hug, welcoming me to the family. Carlisle and Jasper soon went off to discuss both his ability and diet, and it was Rosalie who led me to the upper floor, where the bedrooms were.

She was much less hostile now, and I could tell that it was an aftereffect of hearing my story. Her animosity had lessened when she realized that Jasper and I were bonded mates, and she even became sympathetic when she discovered how many years I had spent in loneliness. By the time I was being given a tour of the house, she was even smiling from time to time.

"This is Carlisle and Esme's room," she said, taking me down the hallway slowly and pointing to the rooms as she came to them. "This is mine and Emmett's, that one is a spare."

It wasn't difficult to know which rooms were off limits. I would never dare to intrude on Carlisle and Esme, and Rose had made her sentiments about her room very clear earlier. This left Edward's and the spare bedroom filled with all sorts of junk. The choice was obvious the minute I stepped into Edward's room.

There was a large window overlooking the Sacramento River, giving a magnificent view of the river and mountain ranges behind the house. The room was very spacious, and had the same color design at work; light beige walls and pale colored furniture. Of course, all this was secondary to the fact that I had already seen Jasper and I staying here in a past vision.

"Do you like this one?" Rose asked, standing at the doorway as I walked over the window to peek out. "It's Edward's room, but I'm sure he won't mind if we move his things out to the garage." When I turned back to her she had a sly smirk on her face to go with her conspiratorial tone.

"That sounds like fabulous idea, Rose." We shared a grin and started working together; within the hour all of Edward's things were stacked in the garage. I only left some of his furniture for Jasper and I, and with some of the extra furnishings the Cullens had we finished decorating our room by dawn.

It was just in time for Edward and Emmett's arrival. Jasper and I waited for them inside with the Carlisle and Rose, while Esme busied herself cleaning out the spare bedroom upstairs. Emmett was the first to burst through the front door, his booming laughter echoing off he walls. "So much for being the fastest, Edward!"

His taunting abruptly stopped when he saw Jasper and I, but before he could react Rose was at his side. "What the –" His question was cut off by Rosalie's fierce kiss, which she apparently wasn't shy about. When she pulled away Emmett had a clearly dazed look on his face, but chuckled anyway. "I missed you too, Rose."

Edward came in shortly after, stubbornly answering Emmett even as his eyes warily searched the room. "It doesn't count if I'm not trying, Emmett." In the same second his eyes lighted on me. "Alice."

I wasn't surprised that he already knew who I was. I assumed Carlisle had been thinking to him since he had been within hearing distance, briefly explaining the situation. So when he saw me, I didn't bother to explain. I just closed my eyes, and focused on the future. Now that I had spent some time with the Cullens, visions of our future together were easier to come by.

The first vision that came to me was one of the whole family – Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, Jasper, and I – out in a large, empty field. There were dark clouds thundering overhead, but the clearing was sheltered and dry. We all wore baseball shirts, and carried bats, gloves, balls. Jasper and Emmett appeared to be arguing about the teams and the rest of us were off to the side waiting for them to finish. The scene shifted to us finally starting the game, and suddenly the vision faded.

"Amazing, Carlisle." Edward spoke to his father figure, but his eyes stayed focused on me. I could see a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as I silently matched him up to the Edward in my visions, the one who would become my closest sibling. Eventually his eyes shifted to Jasper, and he studied him for a few moments before speaking again in an awed voice. "They weren't lying."

I was about to offer a petulant response when suddenly Edward turned on Rosalie, answering an unspoken thought. "What? You gave them my room!?" He was out of the house in an instant, and we could clearly hear his footsteps in the garage, followed by a mortified shout. "ROSE!!"

Rosalie and I laughed together, the sounds mingling together perfectly. I could hear Esme's muted chuckles upstairs as well, and even Carlisle and Jasper joined in as the sounds of Edward's angry mutterings floated back to us.

We were only interrupted by a very, very confused Emmett. "Would someone _please_ explain what's going on here?"

* * *

**author's note *EDITED - see epilogue*: **_(In case you're wondering - no, this story is not finished. I had initially planned to end it here, but got the idea a while back to do a series of chapters titled Cullen Moments. These are pretty much going to be scenes and snippets set after this reunion, but before Twilight. They won't be linear or as structured as the chapters have been up until this point, but more like a tiny attempt to fill in those fifty years or so. I have a few ideas, but if you have anything that you'd like to see, let me know and I'll see if I can work it into a chapter.) _

**Other than that, thanks for reading and please drop me a review if your heart so desires!  
**


	31. Epilogue

**disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters. Also, please check out the a/n at the end, it explains _why _this is an epilogue and not another chapter :)**

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**Epilogue**

Edward and I were out hunting together, trekking across the Alaskan wilderness for some decent prey. Snow covered the ground everywhere we looked, and although the cold didn't bother us, the fact that we stood out like sore thumbs did. We both ran close to the ground, trying to blend in with the white landscape even though it was utterly impossible. Our two streaks of black and bronze were still smudges against the pristine background.

I suppose it didn't matter too much though. Regardless of whether or not our prey saw us, it didn't have a chance. Moose and caribou were no match for us. If we were lucky maybe a brown bear, but I didn't see that happening today.

"Just moose today, huh?" Edward asked, his quiet voice carrying easily on the wind. He often said that he enjoyed hunting with me because it was like hunting with another pair of eyes. I had once told him that it must be that way with everyone, what with his mind reading ability, but he has assured me _my_ eyes were different. Mine provided a look into both the present and the future; I could see the weather, the animals we might come across, our family back home, in addition to our surroundings now.

It was easier for me to hunt with him too, because I never had to talk. He was so attuned to my mental voice, to all of ours, that he could hear us more than a mile away. _That's what it looks like so far. Oh, maybe if we go farther east_.

I didn't slow my running as I looked into the future, trying to pinpoint which direction would give us better prey. If we continued north we would run into a small herd of caribou and that was it. Switching east, our paths seemed to eventually cross with a pair of brown bears. "Perfect," I heard Edward say, able to detect the subtle cheer in his voice.

In this snowy wilderness, we didn't have a chance of finding his favorite type of predator. For Edward – and Emmett too – brown bears were probably the best we could come across. The rest of us were content enough with the moose and caribou, though they were by no means _good_. Just tolerable.

Edward and I switched our direction in perfect synchronization, functioning together like two limbs of the same creature. Besides Jasper, I was most closely attuned to him. Our mental abilities complimented each other, and we got along very well in addition to that. He was my brother in every sense of the word, though the others were my close family too, all in their own way.

Carlisle and Esme were like my parents, the ones I had never known. Carlisle was beyond compassionate and understanding, watching out for all of us – with my help. He had helped me learn a lot about my ability, helping me test and expand it through practice. Together we had learned how to use my visions to maximize our stocks, and because of that we were remarkably well off financially. Esme, on the other hand, was my caring mother. Her maternal instincts never ceased to amaze me, even with a house full of vampires that were nearly her physical age. She always made sure we lived comfortably, mediating between everyone whenever needed. And she loved the fact that I helped her with the gardening, predicting the weather weeks ahead of time.

Rosalie and Emmett were my two other siblings. Our relationships were different, but I loved them all the same. Rose became my best girl friend, despite the fact that we sometimes had our differences. We always went shopping together, braving the malls from sunrise to sunset without ever getting bored. Emmett, on the other hand, was my perpetual amusement. He loved competing with anyone, at anything, and I was usually the cheating thorn in his side. But regardless of that, he never took it badly. Besides, he enjoyed the fact that I had brought him a new sparring partner with Jasper.

Because Jasper had adapted relatively well to our new family life as well. Now that he had a chance, his focus had shifted to higher learning, and he found good company with Carlisle and Edward. I could tell he loved to discuss different topics with them, ranging from medicine to psychology, philosophy to our own lifestyle. With the others he had formed relationships as well. He competed often with Emmett, and generally enjoyed Esme's lovely company. To Rosalie he was civil, an aftereffect of having lost the name (Hale or Whitlock?) battle.

It had never gotten as easy for him as it was for the rest of us though, to abstain from human blood. There were still slip-ups, though they were few and far between. I knew he still suffered, but I was with him every step of the way, getting him out of temptation's way or holding him back.

The years had done nothing to our relationship. My love for Jasper only grew, and as time passed we learned more and more about the many ways we completed each other. We had even been married once, a small quiet wedding in the 1970's, attended only by our family. That was perfect for us, perfect for our unspoken relationship.

"You are happy with us, then?" Edward's quiet voice broke through my musing, and I realized that our running had slowed considerably. He matched my easy pace, about a hundred feet away from me.

I couldn't help but turn towards him and give him a smile, which I knew he would be able to see. _Of course I am happy. I could never ask for a better family. Besides, it was meant to be this way._

Edward nodded once, turning towards the quickly approaching scent of two brown bears. He knew better than anyone about my visions, not only because he experienced them in the present time, but because he had seen the ones in my memory. "Let's get us some bear."

The hunt was over quickly. We came across the two brown bears within minutes, and within seconds had attacked. The warm blood was welcome nourishment, and soon our black eyes were lightening considerably. After the bears we headed north, finishing up with several large caribou. Eyes honey light, we started our run back home.

It was during the jog back that I saw the familiar glimmer in my peripheral vision. I held on to it and waited for the vision, slowing down considerably. Edward was soon at my side, watching the vision unfold together with me.

_Carlisle walked into the living room, dropping his briefcase unceremoniously by the door. He was home from the hospital several hours later than normal, though no one was very surprised. His calm voice called everyone to the room, claiming he had an announcement to make. _

_"As I'm sure you all know," he glanced at me in the back, standing next to Jasper. "The time has come for us to move on. I just heard back from a new hospital, and turned in my official letter of resignation at the current one today. I think you'll like this new town, it's nearly always overcast, so we'll be fine outdoors. If you'd all start packing, I'd like to move to Forks as soon as possible."_

The vision ended and we picked up our pace again, Edward with a cynical smile on his face. "Forks, is it? Perfect. Another tiny town with nothing of interest."

I laughed, picking some snow up off the ground and tossing it at him, never breaking stride. _Oh, Edward, you never know what might happen_.

* * *

**author's note: Don't hate me! I even edited the last chapter's a/n to refer you to this one. **

**Love and Rock Music essentially gave me this idea, and the more I've been thinking about it, the better it sounds. I had initially planned to just do a few chapters, titled Cullen Moments I, II, etc., but when you think about it.... well, that's like another story, isn't it? So I've decided to write that as a (sort of) sequel instead of continuing Seeking the Unknown. Not only will a separate story have a chance at being longer, but it will also give me a chance to try out different points of view (I mean, I love and adore Alice, but maybe a chapter as Edward? Jasper? Emmett?). Anyway, keep your eyes peeled for Cullen Moments!**

**All that said... I'm feeling a little sad this story is over. I've had a fantastic time telling Alice's story, and I hope you've all enjoyed coming on the ride with me. Thanks so much to everyone that's been reading and reviewing, I never expected to get so many! Thank you, thank you, thank you! From the very early people who gave me the desire to keep writing, to those who picked up the story halfway, to those who weren't afraid to leave constructive criticisms or catch my grammar, to... well, everyone!**

**I'll stop gushing now, hehe. Just know that I've appreciated all of the lovely comments, and have definitely enjoyed sharing this story. Now, before this a/n gets longer than the epilogue, I just have one more request. I know for a fact that this story has way more alerts/faves than different people reviewing. I'll just ask that if you've made it this far, leave me at tiny review and let me know? Pretty please with a cherry on top?**

**Thanks for reading :)  
-Crissy  
**


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